Reaffirmation of my dream...

What i pray my last guy in my life will be...

1. Have passion for life.
2. Be there to adore and care for me. Be there whenever i need him. Really love me for who i am.
3. Friendly guy to know, so my close friends can generally accept.
4. Willing to change for the better. Not stubborn. Good EQ.
5. Be investment savvy. Knows how to manage finance.
6. A determined guy. Once he sets to start something, he will not give up and pursues to the end.
7. Healthy guy without much bad habits.( I can tolerate drinking, but not smoking and clubbing.) [I give up on this, because i fell deeply for someone who did smoke..]
8. Loves to hear me talk, appreciates whatever i do for him. [He is one guy who really LISTENS to me, although he sometimes doesn't absorb it...haha~* but I LOVE him for that =) ]
9. Understands his priorities in life, values and beliefs.
10. Have faith and hope for life.

And also, be able to overcome the fear of committment. Because i fear too. And I want to be able to overcome this fear, and start with a man willing to go through this together.

I pray for a man who will want to go through the thick and thin with me...and be able to commit to a relationship that we promise each other to have faith for each other, and never let go of each other, never sacrifice our relationship, and be there for each other..till our dying day..

A Promise...to deep lasting relationships..

Fear is Love's greatest obstacle, and most of the time, Love's greatest secrets teaches people how to overcome fear. The fear of rejection, the fear of stupidity and the fear of failure.

When a person is unable to promise a commitment in a relationship, it is bound to fail.

I believe that when we desire love, we must be able to conquer fear and also, willing to commit into a relationship, promising each other.

The lack of promise is a common problem in this society (with bad experiences in love, family, previous relationships,etc) ,and of course, when one experienced rejection, pain, he/she will naturely avoid the same thing happening again.

When one's fear becomes greater than the desire for love, they retract into a world of loneliness, darkness, dullness.

There are always the highs, the lows, the ups and downs in a relationship.
And whenever a relationship hits the rocks, only the promise to each other will be able to keep it alive.

If a couple were to experience unhappiness in the relationship, and one hinted a breakup, sooner or later, it is bound to end.

Why? Because they have treated the relationship like a scarifice. They never treated the whole relationship seriously. They have never prided the relationship as a priority.

For a relationship to be successful, one must place the other in priority or an important position. Even more important than career or wealth. To put it simply, a break up will never be considered. No matter how sever the quarrel may be, none should threaten a breakup. If the thought were to ever surface, it will surely bring up a chaos to the relationship.

The meaning of a promise is, no matter how difficult the situation may seem, giving up is not an option.

Sometimes, its only that we have never give a promise, that's why we give up so easily.

Everyone desires love and relationships. But the real issue is, how much promise have you given to love? How much promise have you given yourself?

A promise identifies whether a relationship is strong or weak...
A promise is a test to true love...
When a person has given a promise, he/she has no right to give up, and will chose to fight on to make things work out.
If anyone were to desire a long lasting and deep relationship to work out, a promise is of utmost importance..

The day i've earn my guy's promise, that'll be the day that a deep lasting relationship begin, and i swear with all my heart and soul that this will be forever...

Passion of the Christ

Watch The Passion of the Christ with dear at his place on sunday... (28 July '08)

Truely heartbreaking and touching to watch... A very thorough depiction of what happened to Jesus...

It was a very nice show....and i forgot that i left this blog unfinished...
All i can remember now is.. Dear cried with his back faced me...Not a romantic person, but a very sentimental guy..

He always looked so strong..defensive sometimes...
But deep down...i just wanna hold him tight and make sure i'm there when he needed somebody...

A nice walk at the park...~

We talked together...and i felt so much better now~

We took a stroll at Woodlands park.. it was an amazing walk and we settled at a cosy place..

Its a day before Mid Autumn Festival. Its was peacing and sweet~ I loved tonight.

Will never forget tonight... It was the great evening we spent.

I told him a story...

"A lady had a terrible break up from his boyfriend. Her guy dumped her, she was devastated, and had a terrible period trying to cope with the loss. She tried all means and ways to attempt to get him back to her side, but it all failed...

One day, she wondered to the park, attempting to nurse the pain in her heart. A Chinese Old man was sitting beside her. He took out a bag of bread crumbs out of his pocket and started to throw on the ground, attracting alot of pigeons to fly down and eat.

It was a lovely and peaceful sight. The Chinese Old man asked the lady, "Do you like these birds?" She replied, "Not really..." The old man started his story,

"When i was much younger, i had a friend who used to own alot of beautiful pigeons. Everyday, he will bring out his cages of pigeons, display it for fellow villagers to see and feed them publicly. He felt proud to own such beautiful, strong looking pigeons and he declares great love for these birds that he painstakenly groomed.

I was puzzled. Really puzzled.... i thought for a long while...and asked this friend.

"If you really loved these pigeons, why didn't you set them free?""

I never felt anything much abt this story until today...

So today, i choosed to set him free, because i really love him. And i know he loves me too.
One day, our paths might cross together and till then, i will tell him that i'm ready for our future together.

P.S: I Love you, Anthony my love.

A nice break...~

Having a break now~
Packed my time with friends, and i'm imaging myself jumping onto him after this week!

We've been close together for a long 4 months, sticking almost everyday go home after work (during my days at Biomedia), going jamming during weekends, going fishing with Mitch and Neil, etc.

Maybe this next 1 week will give a good restart to our engines!
I'm looking forward to a beautiful beginning again. New romances, new excitements! :D

I remembered Grace, a lady friend who is going over to the States soon with her husband for work for the next 2 years, once told me her story..

She had been together with her bf (now husband) for over the past 6 years (that was 3 yrs ago when she said this). They were together since JC times.
Been through the guy's 2 years army times, separated while one was away for overseas studies for 2-3years, almost called the relationship off for more than a year ago, and now, they are happily married.

How did they do it? I do not know...its for me to find out. And i want to find out.
I believe that i've come into this relationship, having in mind to bring happiness into this man that i love, for the rest of his life. And he's done so much for me now, i felt i haven't put in enough.

If i didn't do well, i am sorry and i'll do better and be more conscious, self-aware of whatever i'm doing. First thing,.. i must let go of my ego... haha~ TO REALLY SERIOUS think of it, i do sound hateful when i actually listen to what i said. ahahAAHAa~~*

SooOOoOOOOoo NOT USED to life now without him.... :(
But i must learn how to be independent... *grumbles*

Where is my dear?....

I'm learning how to be independent...but still... i miss him...

*grumbles*

FRIENDS OUT TIME !!!!!!!!!!!

Since the guy's leaving me alone for unknown period of time to have his cavetime, i'll start on FRIENDS OUT TIME!!!!

• Tuesday meet Cynthia at cwp
• Wednesday meet Weilin at AMK
• Thursday meet KL, WeiJie and people for dinner
• Friday meet Joyce, Lihui and Lynn for Joyce's birthday at Chinatown
• Saturday meet Jiawei for a jog at Dairyfarm estate if he's free
• Sunday morning go 9.15am or 11am Church mass, later stay home or meet friends to go swimming, or go jogging at Dairyfarm estate again. Train up for marathon.
• Where's my pin pin? ah lah...wait till she's free...

Was really getting pissed by the cavetime....totally no contact.. but must get used to it. Luckily i asked Jiawei what's it abt.. else i've blown myself up in frustration.

Jiawei also practices this caveman instinct, ALL THE TIME! So he told me how his ex-gf used to do...just leave him alone. And his girl will also leave him alone and enjoy their own life. Hmm...its better to see it in another person's perspective, so i'll not be so biased in my judgement.

He tells me that, he does the caveman aloner kinda shit all the time, needs time alone, and others are potentially irritating, and he doesn't want to step on people's toes, so he slams his door at everyone who tries to get near him during this "PMS" (Preventive Maintenance Sessions) to keep him in sane.

Yup, sounds like what my guy is too!

The secret to Happiness - Decision

hmm.. this is an important blog that i want to make, at this wee hours of the night, 1.30am on monday midnight..

Its about one of the secret to happiness, The Power of Decision.

I realised that, most parts of my life, i've been quite a happy young lady, because i make fast, decisive decisions. Some parts of my life which i am not happy(but have passed) are countable, such as:

• Staying in NUS Computing and not changing faculty (the past now,i'm benefiting from the certificate anyway)
• My first 2 relationships (yup yup, Dear if you happen to read it, dun be sad. its all in the past now. We're happy now! :D )
• Incurring huge investment debts. (now repaying monthly, but i dun look back and regret now. Be forward looking.)

What else? I can't remember, because i decide that they are too minor, choose to not remember and be happy. hehe~ :)

Recent events, such as my career from Citibank to Biomedia Holdings and to the now BNP Paribas, also from old WBG to now SAB (mainly dormant and serving as IT assistant), although there are unhappy events, i decided to make the best out of situations and be happy with it.

About my career

Citibank: I'm glad i survived 8 mths, knowing that i wouldn't have the prospect of being promoted to permanent staff as Citibank was already cutting cost and getting poly grads instead of uni grads. I was not happy with the working style, which consists of mainly VERY routine daily task...check credit card, check their credit history, approve credit cards. Life was utterly boring and i know there's no prospect to it. During the 8 months, i made life happy, by deciding to have fun and enjoyment during work. I had one of the most happy times with my colleagues, Lihui, Lynn and Joyce. This is how i decide to be happy.

Biomedia Holdings: I came to this company, knowing that i want to work for a SME for a while, to understand abt the culture etc. I have stayed for 3 months. Life was happy, with dear working at another department, and life was fulfilling (doing marketing, logistics, operations, project management, it all add colors to my resume) until it came to a point whereby cold callings have to be made, and i'll be the only one doing it. I decided that, this job is not for me. (this decision here is not a very good one..i was too impulsive to quit suddenly..but i have already sensed that they rather employ 2 malaysians with 1 person's salary..so its a sooner or later kinda thing) Hmm...sux to be in a small dept.

So, i risked the chances of quiting the job and spoiling my resume and career chances, but i still choosed to. Why? Simply because i know my value, and i can still get better jobs out there. I decided to not look back, go all the way out to get a good job out there.

While my ex-collegeaues waited for job agencies to get back to them and waited for months, i got my current job within 3 days. Why? Because i decided that i want a job ASAP. I sent numerous resumes, and followed up with the agencies. I want the job, i ran after them and not waiting for them to call me back. I decided to be pro-active.

BNP Paribas: Its quite a good bank, from france. and i'm in the compliance dept now. To make life happier, i decided to even get my ex-collegeaue, Joyce to join me! That's current life now. For now, compliance seems rather interesting, and i'm still exploring. Enjoying being the policewomen of a bank now, and i decided to stay until they sack me, or at least the next 2 years (unless unforseen major circumstances arises). This will look better on my resume in future.

SAB: Decision to become dormant was tough as well, because i've let down a couple of people, like Arthur, Jet and Serene and Pin, but i have no regrets. I choose to live with it. and make the best out of this choice! And i still help out with their IT side.

I believe that other than making the best and choosing to be happy, FOCUS is also very important.

BAND: I've always wanted to be part of the band coaching team...and have always talked about it again and again, not being realistic that the money is not gonna sustain me for long...so now, i have decided that i'll put it on hold, until i have at least a decent $20k in my account.

LIFE: I decided that i will marry when my account is at least a decent $100k before i get married, as i want a more wealthy family to begin with, not letting future children suffer.

What i am going to say is...PROFOUND.

Usually people need to know that it is...PROFOUND, or else people wouldn't know that it is PROFOUND.

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Its quite simple to think this way below...NOT too diffcult.

***If you have decided to be responsible, to stay in a company that you have no passion anymore, FOCUS on the things that you still enjoy (the company of the people, your workers, etc). Having time to feel sad, feeling uncomfortable in the job simply means that you HAVE NOT DECIDED to be happy and HAVE NOT FOCUS on the happy elements in the job.

***If there's nothing to be happy about, or VERY hard to find any, MOVE ON.

***If you decide that moving on is not the option, DECIDE to stay for the remaining days/months, and STOP thinking about negatives! FOCUS on finding the good things on the job.

***If you are STILL unhappy and you have already (think) that you have focused on the good stuffs and cannot find, it simply means......... you HAVE NOT DECIDED to stay, because you have not done your best to find the good things on the job.

***If you want to be happy, look forward! Be forward looking! Can start deciding which is a good company to go to, look at their company profiles, build up a good looking resume, retake resume photos, check out the good job lobangs, there's so much GOOD THINGS to look forward to! Why bother looking backward? No time to waste on bad stuffs.

That's all for the night of grumbling...nitez!

Thank you for loving me...~

This post is delicated to dear Ant...

A week ago, a friend, feeling troubled by BGR issues, asked me... What must a man do to make his lady feel loved?

I'm not gonna give any psychology explaination for this part...just by gut feel...
This question is profound. This time, i really give it a long thought. How did he made me feel loved?

When i was in teenage years, young and innocent, i used to think that material stuffs are able to make a basic judgement of how much your guy loves you. If he is willing to go all out, earn some money and buy you a good necklace, buy you some flowers, that shows some very basic level of love. (I am NOT that materialistic, but i'll still love a good piece of jewel. hahhaAH~*~)

However, Ant did not buy or give me anything or do anything romantic, 4 months into our relationship.

No flowers, no jewel, not much gai-gais (we are quite homely and only go jammings and friend's place), no love notes, no romantic smses, not much couple outings, no traveling to malacca, and alot of things guys will do, he will NOT do...

And the best thing is, i didn't realise it until this friend of mine reminded me!! ahahaAAHaha~~*

But my friend also reminded me of something.

Why do i think this time, Ant loved me more than any other guys in my life? (including our first relationship back in 2000)

Ant's not a romantic person, so i got used to it.
However, there's always the little little things that he do, which really sends me over the moon..

• He likes to kiss me on my forehead (mainly because i'm much shorter than him)
• He searches for me when i get lost (sometimes makes me feel good to be damsel in distress..ahha~ that doesn't sound too good to do)
• He always tells me the truth whenever he thinks he did something wrong (he'll make sudden confessions. ahhaha~*)
• He cares for his family, and makes me feel he will be a good man to be with, for life.
• His eyes when he looks at me. Completely different compared in yr 2000. i feel appreciated and looked after.
• He worries too much for me sometimes, but i still like it. haha~*
• He gave me the key!!!
• He shares his work life with me. Makes me feel like a good friend. :)
• He gives me good massages when i am suffering from backache.
• He thinks about spending quality time going out with me,even though he's tired and worn out at times.
• And more...
  

Sometimes i do get angry with him. However, remembering these little things makes a world of difference. Its all about the simple things, little things that normally people will overlook, which made me see the difference with him. He made me feel precious.

P.S: I Love You. :)

12 things that you should avoid if you want good sex

Once again! Copied from Yanni's blog postings which will definitely benefit people...here's it.

(This is for guys in long term relationship only, not applicable to honeymoon period, single guys or those 1 night stand scenario)

According to Dr Chuck Spezzano, sex is not about the action, it is about the process and the energy. However, let’s put those complicated psychologies aside, just want to put in simple words, to help those guys that always get rejected by his partner at night or every night his partner complaints having a headache or stomachache. Also, to give the girls a break, from having to have headaches every night.What you should take note of;

1. Body odour ( pls check your mouth, armpit, chest, feet and especially the part that sticks out ), for most women, hygiene is a must have and the best turn off is some unbearable smell. Who wants to make love to a smelly fish?

2. Ask for sex ( never never never never ask your partner over the dinner or supper “Honey, shall we do it later?” If you are already in the bedroom and you still asked, then something must be wrong in your brain. 8 out of 10 times you asked, I assured you, the immediate answer is no, or if your partner is more polite, she will tell you she’s too tired or having some pain somewhere. ) Frankly I still don’t understand why, but we women really don’t like our partner to ask for sex, maybe deep down, we feel that by answering yes, we might become a slut or not so innocence and pure anymore. Btw, since young, all mothers tell their girls to say no if guys ask them for sex, so an automatic rejection mode will be activated in that situation.

3. Too needy ( if you display too strong a need, it’s major turn off )

4. Only interested in sex, nothing but sex ( woman need to feel love in order to engage in sex. If you don’t show interest in her feelings, not communicating with her emotionally, you just put her in sacrifice even if she does it with you. Please, make love, and not have sex.)

5. Your hands go straight to the vital parts ( please lah, men always imposed their likings to their partner, and thought this is the best way to arouse a woman, big mistake. If you go straight to the sensitive part before your woman relax, you will make her feel violated. As a partner, please find out where to touch to relax your woman, you will be surprise that sometimes it could be the hand, neck or even the back. A girlfriend ever told me that she loves it when a man holds her hands and caressing it for hours. )

6. No show of appreciation for your partner’s body.

7. Only interested in getting the job done.

8. Stingy in compliments ( woman loves it when her man compliment her, and with creativity and sincerity.

9. There a things that should not be discuss on bed, unless you want to turn her off – parents, money,work,politics, gossips, criticize her, children and any other serious stuff. Suggests you can start a conversation on those early honeymoon dating time, the holidays you had together and the places 2 of you want to go in the future, talk about wine, food, leisure (but not golf unless she’s a golfer too).

10. Do not make love with a hidden agenda – to conquer her, to express your anger, to let go of stress, to make baby….Please, only one agenda in love making, communication of love.

11. Let go of your performance!!!! Stop asking “how are you feeling….how am I doing….” Just shut up, let her relax and enjoy. Trust me, if your partner can still give you scores like the judges in Star Search, you’re in deep trouble.

12. Don’t go straight to do washing right after the action. Try your best to admire her body even after the action when you are dead tired. Show appreciation. If need so, walk her to the washroom. Don’t sleep before her and left her thinking “ so sex is all he wants?”

Guys, if you can avoid all of the above, basically you should have a better love life, of course, paying more attention to the ladies during the day and been more sensitive could score you a lot more points before you hit the night. ( Girls, if you happened to be reading now, for your happiness sake, stop rejecting your partner if he is your long term partner. Of course if you insist not to get intimate before marriage, that’s totally fine and should be respected. Just don’t use sex as a weapon against you partner)

If you tried all of the above and still got rejected, maybe there’s a few reasons ;

a. She has either a conscious or sub-conscious judgement against sex

b. She’s in a power struggle with you

c. She felt bored about your same old style…..zzzzzz…..so boring, where are the wines, chocolates, flowers, sweet kisses, adoring eyes?

d. There’s a unconscious sexual guilt ( which is common among women all over the world )

e. You’re the father of her children, and she started calling you daddy.

f. Etc etc etc….

Anyway, whatever it is, please have patience. If you’re a pair of committed couples, you have many years to understand and explore each other. Give love and support in terms of sex, as usually women are very shy about this issue, and very rare that they are willing to seek for help.

Wish you all the best , with Love. Yanni

That's all for now! Till next time with good postings from Yanni!

Secret Collection (aka 人生四大秘密) by Adam J. Jackson

Recently started to read on this book...

i wanted to get the english version, which have ended publishing for a long time already. There are 4 volumes to this book, "Secret Collection aka 人生四大秘密" by Adam J. Jackson.

The 4 volumes are:

10 Secrets of Abundant Love

10 Secrets of Abundant Happiness

10 Secrets to Abundant Health

10 Secrets to Abundant Wealth

And you know what?

Each part is sold differently, and the value of this english version is very high!! A part costing Euro50-90 dollars!!! That's like..SGD $100 - $200 per book!!! Really valuable book...

This series of Adam J Jackson's books are really very good...and currently, i'm reading the chinese version, which is 4 volumes combined into 1. It's hard for me now, cos i don't usually read Chinese books already. But since it is a whole lot cheaper (with free ebook downloads online), i can live with it. One day, i'll get my hands on the english version... :)

This is really a good book, highly recommended to all. :)

Subsquently, i will post up good readings on the contents of the book (with ugly translation by Annie!)

Kelong Acheh @ Mersing (09-10 August 2008)

We started off at 4.30am, getting ready, take our morning kopi, tea, and set off toward the Causeway. The causeway was abit jammed, so the guys had a good "swearing time" in the car, to past time to get to Mersing. Takes 3 hours to travel! And thank God we have Neil around, who doesn't mind driving 3 hrs non-stop.

Our destination is Kelong Acheh, one of the four Kelongs in Mersing (i heard its 4..correct me if i'm wrong. We may be the fifth in future. hhaAHa~~*) The kelong stay is only 150RM, plus minus, i only spent about 200RM for the whole trip! afforadable and nice~

We had Breakfast at a chinese food centre at Mersing, then set off towards Pemboyang, near the jetty location. We thought from Mersing town itself to the jetty is quite near, but it actually took us another 20-30 mins!! Check out the photos below... :)

You know what this photo signifies??

Something is coming.....

Cows....and very skinny ones (unlike New Zealand and Australia)..poor thing.. And we're doing our best to avoid their piles of shit on the road..

The Bridge towards "Jetty @ Mersing" And yah! That's my dear Anthony!

Mitch, typing away while i clicked my handphone camera..~ This photo is sceneric and peaceful...

That's Neil, and he's emo-position. hahAAHa~ i feel like getting a SLR camera!!! damn the scenery is nice! And Neil brought his camera, WITHOUT his SDcard!! That's why he's feeling emo... ahhaAAHa~~*

Anthony. :) I thought he brought a sunglass, but i forgot its his transition lense. Wow~ He really put it to good use this time. :D

Schools of fishes that we caught most of the time..too small..like nasi lemak fish. So we didn't keep it...
That's the Kelong worker, fishing out the pile of small fishes, called taman. There's a type of hooks, called taman hooks, that are used to catch them, and use them to be baits for BIG fishes.

They get attracted easily to the taman hooks, by the shiny looks of it and without any baits. That's why the guys calls them, stupid fish.

That guy is fishing them out, so people on the kelong can use them to be live baits.

The live baits..so sad..most of them get dried up when no one comes to take them....hope they got a better next life.
That's our room, with a high security door. Needs alot of strength to slid them open, and very noisy when anyone tries to do that. haaAHah!~~
Anthony, slacking outside of our room to take cover from the blasting sun. Hot afternoon, and the guys are sunburnt.

He's actually trying to fish through that small hole outside our room!! Big enough for small fishes to go in. hahaHA~*

Lunch! Not that fantastic..got fried squid, vege, seasame seed oil chicken and potatoes, soup and tomato sauce fish. i'm starting to take seafood already (so that i dun feel weird while having meals with close friends), but i'm not ready to take white or red meat at all. And i dun think i want to take them either. I compromised on taking seafood and meat soup already, huge compromise to make, and i'll just stop there...So pls dun ever try to make me eat meat non other than seafood again.
Nice photo, with no one guarding the rods. No BIG catches are spotted by anyone. We are considering getting a boat rented next time :) Its only 700RM for 2 days! If split by 4-6 persons, its only about 120 -175 per pax! We can bring our own food, and sail out to the sea! nice!

Beautiful~ That's during the sunset. About 6.30pm.

Ant asked me to jio a few friends, like Cynthia or whoever wants to experience fishing, so that next time i wouldn't feel bored also. He wants "guy time only" as well. hahaHA~ actually i'm quite ok on my own, he just worries abit too much. hahaAaH~*

Another one! Lovely~ SLR camera will be better!

This is our room. Alot of space, as it accomadates a big group.

In the Kelong, the groups stays together in a room, because the place in NOT a hotel. Can roughly accomadate not more than 10-15 groups.

Also, there's no electricity before 6.30pm, as they need to turn on the electric generator to have electricity. We expected worst, so this is quite ok for us already. Kelong experience is quite good after all! :D
When i was young, I used to build small rooms using furnitures and imagined myself having a small hut something like this..a small room, with windows. That's all. Wow! My dream came true!
Photo taken over dinner!

That's morning already. 8.30am and we continued after a night of turbulent waters with no signs of fishes ard. The strong currents and wind makes it difficult for both man to fish and fishes to swim also. hahaHAahA~~*

That's Neil, with his windbreaker. He came prepared...

The guys spotted a sea worm inside their squid bait! And looking at it crawl and drop back into the sea...

The guys photo, and Mitch just wants to get back to his fishing. No time left!!! Gonna go off in half hour time!

That's Mitch Soloman.
Turbulent waters with angry looking clouds coming..
The sky is so BIG, i can actually still catch sight of the OTHER side with better weather! nice sunshine! :)

That's me! Finally i get to take my own photo!! :D

Planning to go Kelong every 2 months! Perhaps another trip in late august too! For Aunt Cynthia and Uncle Johnny's silver wedding anniversary. :D More exciting experience awaits..!!

Jack Neo's Money No Enough

Just went for a Movie Premeire, 30 July last wednesday.

Went with dear, and also friends KL, Cyn,her bf Jonkee, Weijie, Mingjian and Tammie.

Realised that Jack Neo is really an inspiring man. Through his movie, and watching 艺点心思 about his life, allows me to understand further abt his movies and productions.

Money No Enough 2 is really quite a good show to watch. And its even better when my dear told me more about his stories.

I have never watch Money No Enough before. And till now, i never did. Initially during the show, i was thinking like..."Yup, it's quite good ONLY." And we had fun laughing at our friend, Neil, who was part of the crew in the production, acting as a tight-fit wearing gangster. ahahaaAHa~~*

However, the part whereby the Ah ma (auntie who acted as Jack Neo, Mark Lee and Henry Thia's mum) is showcasted, the protrayal of family ties,problems faced by families, money issues...especially the part whereby Henry thia sent his mum to old folks home...That was so sO sooOoooOo sad!!!

Ant mentioned that Jack Neo's filming skills have really matured, and after the premeire, we went to shake his hand, and also took a photo of him! We saw a sincere person, no airs, who lead his life brilliantly and fought hard for his dreams and visions despite all odds.

Why the mentioning of Jack Neo and this show?

It is because, he reminds me of...The Pursuit of Happyness.

Jack Neo was a sec 4 graduate, because he managed to miss the mark to get into Junior College. With no proper education during his time (he is now 48years old), he went straight to army and was in the drama and music company.

Since then, he was into Entertainment world,drama and the art, till this day. All was not easy as it seems, and no one ever expected a Singaporean could produce box-office smashing movies. Now, he's now titled as a National Treasure, next to our MM Lee Kuan Yew.

More than 20over years he fought on in this industry.. If i were to step into the small military band and music industry, would i be able to achieve what he did?...

This is why, he's become a Singaporean inspiration to me, other than MM Lee in Singapore.

The show's really nice! a Must watch for the typical Singaporean! ;)

Pls give your man the Love and Tenderness of Mother Earth (Part 1)

Another posting plagarised from Yanni. AHaaAHaha~~~*
I love relationship postings from Yanni, and of course, i love Arthur's leadership talks, damn bloody funny, truthful, profound, entertaining and meaningful whenever he relates to fundamentals and philosopies of life. Both are great leaders, in their own field. Hope i can successfully translate to a full compiled set of knowledge and system for band coaching in future (if i ever successful get into the music industry again: target 2009)

Now here's the posting by Yanni,
Woman...pls give your man the Love and Tenderness of Mother Earth
(This is for girls only, and guys, don't believe a single thing I said)

After many years of research and studying in men, I finally agree to Jeff Allen and Hiromi, that man are in fact a simple animal, 500 times less complicated than woman.

Regardless of age, whether 2years old, 20s, 30s or 80s, they are still a boy at heart. The most hurting words you can say to them is “hey, please grow up”. The more mature, logical and sensible they appear, is actually a camouflage of their childish self. If you don't believe, disguish yourself and go to the army whereby no girls is in sight, see what stupid things they do with each other or what silly things they talk about ( they definitely don't discuss about “How to become a Great husband” girls, give it up). Good news is, they don't bitch around.

So what does boys hated most? Their mommy nag at them and don't allow them to play.

Every woman has her motherly nature, unfortunately we always use it in the wrong way. When we are dating, we play with our boyfriend, having lots of fun, but once stable down, we inherit our mother's, grandmother's, great grandmother's habit, we become their”mother”, wanting them to do things our way, controling them because it's good for them. Please lah, when our mother tell us not to do certain things because they meant good to us, when did we ever listen?

A few things might happen,
1. they really listen to us and follow our way, and become a boring nice man, and you start
wondering, where does all those passion went?

2. They defy our way, and started the stage of power struggle, whether it's a direct warfare or cold war, there will be casualties, and it's usually both parties.

3. On the surface, they are goody pussy cat, turn around, the dark knight waiting to strike, just waiting for a single chance to get even. No wonder so many men love the Batman movie.

So what does boys really want?
1.After 1 hard day of entertaining boring clients, pleasing the difficult boss, paying endless ERP and still getting jam in the traffic, they just want a place whereby their sensitive little heart can feel safe, to let go of their armour. Giving them peace in terms of sound and mind is very important. Don't worry, if they have enough cave time, they will start coming to you, in many ways :)

2.Boys love mommy's appreciation and attention. From young, boys tried all ways to win mommy's love, regardless of the roles they play. A simple word of “well done” or something as big as “you're my hero” will give them the power to fight 10 more dragons.

3.Deep in their heart, boys equate his success/failure directly to how happy his woman is. So if we girls, play the victim role, thinking of getting the boy's attention and love, we are making a grave mistake. 1St, 2nd time,our man will still response to our calling of love, but after a while, suddenly his work becomes so busy and he starts to have endless meetings and starts have endless amount of work.

4.Boys are as insecure as we girls, though they tried their very best not to show it out. We girls, on the other hand, inherited from our ancestors the gentle tenderness of mother earth. Our femine power allows us to give love, receive abundance, nourishes the soul, warmth the heart, provide a sanctuary for them to rest in.

5.Men are simple, they just want food, love and sex. Yes, sex isdefinitely a must in a man's life. Don't always let your man beg for sex, it's too hard on their ego. Give them a good treat sometimes, jump on to them, give them a surprise, take initiative in sex. Be the one that go book a nice hotel room, be a Ritz-Carlton or hotel 81, trust me, the men don't really mind :) They just want to have a good time with you. Even in a dark carpark in East Coast, even better.

(End of Part 1)

Note: I'm definitely not good with the 5th point...too conservative... hahaAHA~~*

Heaven on Earth..

The following blogpost is from Yanni, a friend and senior experienced in the field of psychology. Haven't seen her for quite a while, but i do check out interesting article on relationships and psychology from her.

Here's a good one..

Heaven on Earth, for our children

One of the most difficult technical knowledge we can learn in this world is Parenthood, it is something that our parents never teach us ( or they demonstrated the wrong method, cos their parents also did not know what to do). Most of the time we learned through trail and error, however by the time we realised our mistakes, if we do have the consciousness to know, hurt was already been done and many a times, we were in such a huge amount of guilt that we fall into denial or a vicious cycle of guilt – hurt – more guilt – more hurt...

The truth is,children are send from heaven to help us in our healing of our soul, they are the mirror of our sub-conscious and unconscious mind, and they brought heavenly gifts to help us mend our fractured soul.

If you are facing any challenges with your children, check out the following, for the sake of your child ;

1.How much you value yourself as a good mom/dad?
In fact, how much we value ourselves as a parent is equivilent to how much we value our parents of the same sex. If we cannot acknowledge our parents of the same sex we will also not be able to acknowledge our self value in our subconscious mind when we become parent. We get frustrated easily, always unhappy with our performance and in order not to feel the valuelessness inside us, we use anger to cover it.Our children is often the one that get it, unfortunately.

Way out – forgive our parents for the things they had done to us in our childhood, for not loving us the way we want them to love us, for not able to satisfy all our needs, for not able to give us the love and attention we need then. Understanding and acceptance is the best way towards forgiveness. As a parent now, you know that we will give everything we can give to our children,unless we don't have, that is the same to our parents to. They had done their best in their situation.

2.Are you in competition with your spouse?
Are you playing the good parent/bad parent game? Is one of the you in sacrifice and the other always busy? The model of competition started right from our birth, we compete with our parent of the same sex for the parent of the opposite sex, we compete with our siblings for food, for love and for attention.Deep inside our soul, we had a belief of scarcity, and in order to survive, we compete. Some compete through specialness, some through sacrifice, some through victimising, some through withdrawing. At the end of the day, there is always win-lose, but for the child, it's lose-lose. Never never never ask your child to choose between you and your spouse, it's the most cruel thing you can do to them.

Way out – join with your partner, make him/her your team mate instead of competitor. Be aware of the hiddened competition you have inside you and commit to oneness instead of seperation.

3.Let go of your expectations
Our expectations come from our unfulfilled needs in our childhood, however, instead of healing our childhood issue, most parents transfer all their needs to their child unknowingly. Instead of giving the child their own life, parents want the child to live the parent's life, to “enjoy” what the parents never enjoyed before, without really understanding what the children actually want. Just ask ourselves this question, is our children really happy? Is it what we adults want or what they really want?

4.Never talk to our children the way that we will never talk to our friend.
Be your child's best friend, treat them equally and trust them. Response to them and not react to them. Most parents react, when we react, it is emotional and does not help in the situation. Been responsive is to understand what our child trying to tell us through their actions, and see through their actions. When children mis-behave, most of the time either they are calling for love, calling for help or calling for attention. We have to coach our children, not through anger/violence/abuse, but through love and understanding.

Quite a nice article, not only for parents, but for us as children as well. :)

Jamming session!

Its been a long time since the last i went jamming with my old kakilangs ("our people")... i remembered that last of the last long loNG LONGggGGGG time ago was....in JC!!!! wow!!!! DAmn old lah!

Check out the photos below!

Sneaker an ice cream into jamming room! Sneaky me!
This photo is damn stylo lah...hahaAHA~ my dear's like my ice cream! so sweet~ ahaHAaHaAH~~*

That's Mitch on the drums, doing what he does best.
And Neil on the guitar with his charismatic voice~
And that's Anthony. yup~ my dear. haha~

Had a good time last sunday, jamming at bugis area. i sang with them! After like, so many years? I've never sang with them before, as i have always just sit by the side and enjoy them playing. First time sing and i'll made such a BIG JOKE!!!

Was singing "My immortal", and Mitch was standing beside me, with his gadget on the floor near me as well. As this song was without much guitar part at the front, i just sang and mitch waits for his turn to play. A Long wait.....

I was so excited and keep jumping and Jumping and JUMPING while singing, without him realising that.... I WAS STEPPING ON HIS GADGET!!! From A2, it went to F6!!!! That's like....near 30 times i've stepped on it!!! When it was his turn to strung his guitar, WE ALL LAUGHED OUT LOUD!!! hahaAHAha~~* The pitch was so distorted that we were laughing all the way to the end of the song, without Mitch being able to play his long-awaited part. ahahAAHah~~* My first song with the guys. ahahAAHah super Funny lah!!

Had a good day, singing, laughing, and i also went to pin's Church service. Not too bad, but i still can't take the singings... too loud for me, as i have this concept that, religion is a quiet thing, not so much of a celebration thingy everytime at the start. Congrats to pin being water-baptised! :)

After a long day, i also ended quite well with my dear. We had a cold period recently, and we talked things out. Now looking forward to the end of March next year, get out of current job and go into band teaching! Registering for ABRSM music theory test latest by 15 Aug, then 1 Nov is the test.

Looking forward to NDP as well!!! Going to play paintball and go fishing!!!!!!YiPeEee~~ And also 42.195km run i promised myself that i'll go for! Public declaration this time. Must experience that, once in a lifetime, so i wouldn't disappoint myself. ;)

Jia you jia you jia you! Towards a bright fulfilling future!!!

Communications.. The Five Love Languages

I didn't realised that when i speak, i sound cocky, overconfident to certain groups of people, like my old friends from band. But to certain people, like those from JC and NUS, they are perfectly normal to my way of communications...

My guy didn't realise that i dislike him to kick start a conversation with negative terms and tonality as well. And, he didn't realise that he did it! Its just natural for him to speak in his way, and me in my way..so, luckily we managed to talk this through and know each other better. Having a critic as a boyfriend can be tiring and sometimes, hurting as he can be damn bloody direct, but its good as well, because we are better able to talk things out as well.

Many couples in modern days, aren't able to last long. Even if they managed to get married, they end up in divorce. I wonder why...Is it because they are too messed up in their relationships that they can't be bothered to fix it? lack responsibility for each other? or they are not confident and do not have faith to carry on? There is a fundamental reasoning, but i can't really figure out myself, simply because i have never reached that stage before.

I love this book, The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. This book is recommended by Arthur Yap, really a great guy, a great leader of his life, his organisation, a man of philosophies and principles. A Man of honour. i always love to listen to his talks about life, business, career and jokes too!

Well anyway, This book is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED and it has ever since, become my bible for relationships. Initially, when i got this book before my relationship with my current guy, i thought..."How great can this book be"? I read...and fell asleep.........

Last night, i flipped it through, and amazingly, i discovered ALL my concerns are answered inside!!!!!!!!!!!! TRULY AMAZING RELATIONSHIP'S BIBLE!!! HaaahaAHAh~~*

*Carine go get it!!! Damn nice!! It can be your bible as well!!!!

Discover your primary Love Language...speak it, act on it, and your relationship will be sweet and long lasting... ;)

Power Struggle

He "stepped on my toes" today, and i flared up.

Man... i thought i could control my emotions, but i just seem to not be able to, in front of the man i love.

I name this stage "Independence" stage, and also further into it, its "Power struggle" stage in psychology terms.

Couples, when they get together, usually there are 3 stages. Namely, Dependence stage, Independence stage, and Interdependence stage.

Will talk abt the 3 stages some other time...
Just wanna whine abt this Power struggle now..

I do realise a long while ago, that i have a big ego. BIG BIG one. I totally cannot stand myself being labelled as a "whiny old woman","a typical woman", "a woman who follows her man wherever she goes", etc. I am NOT that kind of woman. I seek freedom to do stuffs, and in my way.

My guy, is also a man with a passion for Freedom. Man, has ego. Default. If they have no ego, something is going wrong there... So, sometime we have struggles with that. If i say or do anything "too much", i'm labelled a typical woman. The thing is i KNOW he doesn't mean it, but i STILL flare up!!! Sometimes i know certain things will hurt his ego, and i PURPOSELY commit it!!! Damn! We have to recognise this struggle and manage it.

Wah...i never imagined after such a long drought with no relationships, getting into one really takes effort on both sides. To go into Interdependence stage will take a while, but working towards it. I pray that he does it as well...

Bottle Tree Park and Paint balls!!

Checked out a new place last sat with Neil, Mitchell and Anthony!

Happened to pass by Khatib MRT after jamming session, and we saw something very beautiful!
A large pond! with large "swans" floating around!

The place is called "Bottle Tree Park"!!!
Check it out at www.bottletree.com.sg

It was a good discovery. Because although the place isn't satisfactory for our fishing desires (fishing arena too small,not shiok at all), we saw a new place!

The place is called "Redynasty"!!!
Check it out at www.weplaypaintball.com

That's the more interesting place! Will wanna organise groups to "fight it out" there!! ;)

PACKAGE A - The Shooting Gallery (30 paintballs per pax) - $10.00 per pax
PACKAGE B - JAMES BOND (50 paintballs per pax) - $25.90 per pax
PACKAGE C - THE GODFATHER (100 paintballs per pax) - $35.90 per pax
PACKAGE D - RAMBO (250 paintballs per pax) - $49.90 per pax

Hmm...for 2 hrs plus, i'll go for the package D of course!! Maximum fun!! ahahaAH~~*
Must organise trips to that place someday! ;)

I believe...

I believe...

There must be a reason for me to stay on in ESABEE for the weekly functions..
Not sure about it, but perhaps its the spiritual sense that is making me stay on..

I am not doing recruitment for sure, and i feel totally comfortable (which was not the case a few weeks back). I found a religion and exploring about it, and i find myself more at peace nowadays... And i can go functions feeling great! Strange, but..haha~ not sure why... but i believe that there's a good reason why i'm hanging around..

From situation i see, in Penang and Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, ESABEE is really doing great and function numbers are really growing each week to large numbers in hundreds! The whole of Penang and KL is starting to have a phenomenon on Eumora bars... more and more testimonials are flooding in... And i still enjoy my quiet trading supplies of Eumora overseas..

Hope the reason for my stay will reveal soon... :)

*~Fashion Paradise Pte Ltd~*

My dearest sister, Molly, has just started her mini small online shopping business!
Pls visit her site @ http://mollylee.blogs.friendster.com/fashion_clothings/

Why i like her shopping site:

1. My sis is very organised and responsible for her work (guarantee she wouldn't ran away, because she can't run away as well!) hahAAH~~*
2. My sis has good QC (Quality Control) for material of the clothes. But i think her fashion taste is weird. hahaH~~* so u all just see lah! Check out the nice photos.
3. My sis can deliver to me straight at home! ahahaAH~*
4. My sis has me to help her survey, check out which sites have good clothes, which sites clothes cannot buy, will con people's money...
5. My sis's choice of bags are all not bad. That's the only thing i think her taste is not too bad, can make it. aahaaAAa~*

That's what i can describe about my sister. hah~ bad elder sis i am. haha~~*

So if anyone seeks good online shopping, can check her site out. ;) A little advertise for her here.

Saudi Arabia and USA

Received enquiries from Saudi Arabia and USA, and we're into further discussions...

Feeling great today, because i'm sending sample Eumora bars overseas now, i predict that if all goes well, orders will start coming in within the next 2-3 months.

Learning about logistics and operation in my current company as well, just nice for the needs of my mini trading company. All about ex-works, FOB, freight charges and all those terms...its slowly, but steadily developing.

Looking forward to my Saudi Arabia contact more..as they seemed more sincere, and they have all the requirements i've wanted them to have. With dermatologist contacts, pharmacists, and they have their own sales and marketing group. Although company is not too big, we can start with small sales and big long term relationship. Not like some of the cocky USA firms i've met.

Looking forward to life ahead! Eumora rocks!! ;)

Down to Earth guy i've got.. =)

Recape on what i have blogged down in previous post Idealistic vs. Down to Earth,

I mentioned that i will want to be realistic and pray for this down to earth guy to come to me..
And this is what i've mentioned:
Now, what i want in a down-to-earth guy to...

1. Have passion for life. [Partial, he's responsible for whatever he's done, and he's got a dream that's similar to mine!!! ]
2. Be there to adore and care for me. Be there whenever i need him. Really love me for who i am. [Yes, at least for now. ahaaAHa~~*]
3. Friendly guy to know, so my close friends can generally accept.[Damn close lah,more people for him to know, but i don't think its necessary..i got too many friends leh..haha~]
4. Willing to change for the better. Not stubborn. Good EQ. [Willing to change for the better (depends) Stubborn (also yes) Good EQ (YES!)]
5. Be investment savvy. Knows how to manage finance. [That i am not sure, but he knows how to manage at least]
6. A determined guy. Once he sets to start something, he will not give up and pursues to the end. [I do perceive he is, yet to be shown]
7. Healthy guy without much bad habits.( I can tolerate drinking, but not smoking and clubbing.) [He failed this part, but he dislikes clubbing for sure.]
8. Loves to hear me talk, appreciates whatever i do for him. [He is one guy who really LISTENS to me, although he sometimes doesn't absorb it...haha~* but I LOVE him for that =) ]
9. Understands his priorities in life, values and beliefs. [Yup yup! He knows what he wants. Working towards it too!]
10. Have faith and hope for life. [Hmm.. he hoped for it, and i came into his life. That explains everything. ;)]

He's becoming the core of my life, and i am seeking a religion as well, in Roman Catholic faith. At the same time, trading continues for me in terms of overseas exports. Right now, life feels complete, except for the career fulfillment part. I will really want to go into music teaching again, by 2010. Life's good!

I pray for my guy to be able to quit smoking by his own will power, for his own health and for the sake of loved ones as well. I pray for fellow closed friends as well. I pray that God will guide them towards the path of a healthy wealthy life.

God bless...and I bless you too. =)

A New Life, a New page!

Feels like a new, refreshingly free life now!

A new blog page for a Fresh start!

I begin to cherish what i have lost a few years back... and will treasure them. =)

More updates when i have time! ;)

My significant other..

Hmm... feeling lost these 2 days.. haven't feel like this for years already..
He went Malacca on a business trip for 2 days... can't wait to have him back!

Having a significant other in my life, really makes my life more "shared". Like shared driver in computers. He shares part of my life. ahaAHa~~* what a description.

Really grateful to have him ard, especially when he came in, during this rock-bottom period of my life...
He became my light and source of hope and happiness. Although we had alot of misunderstandings, bad memories in the past, but all seemed faded and forgotten when we got back on talking terms after 8 years...

Things are all beautiful, lovely now... He really dotes me and i can really feel it this time... Better than any guys in my life. He's really more matured, responsible now than last time, and i felt glad for that. Nothing matters more than, we, working things out together for our future.

I am still quite at a lost, handling current new job, trading, debts, dreams of becoming a music instructor or musician myself... but with him around, i find strength to carry on living.. Having some plans in mind to accomplish before marriage. So! Now i have a time line and goal to meet before marrying off! =) At most 5 years that i'll give myself...

Hope we'll have a happily retirement plan, like, doing business. Perhaps a small niche cafe, or a small eatery store, having all our friends together till ripe old age...

Love my dearest.

The love of my life...

My sleeping prince... tired and burnout from work... time to reveal who he is!! (anyway, alot knows who he is already...hahaHa~~*)

Creations from the Mosaic function of my Samsung G600 5mega pixels phone...

Awakens from sleep and sees me clicking away! I was checking out the Mosaic functions..

Alright...he looks cool in this picture, but i look like a kid. haha~~

Me getting bored and he started weird poses for the shots! I love this one! So funny!

I bet some people are getting quite a shock here, esp Carine and some of the guys/gals in the old band group. haha~ Don't laugh ah...He was my first love, the one i loved most, the one i hated most, and i ended with him, AGAIN! Hmm...fate made our paths cross again, after 8 years.

Actually, i am not really able to recall ALL the bad things. Only certain parts, but most of them i forgot already. Maybe i'm doing what Arthur said. Don't live in the past. Live in the past, learn from the past. Everything is about a choice, and after making a choice to be with him again, i decide to make the best out of it.

Tough times lying ahead, especially within the next 2 years. I really hope we can work out everything together. =) Interdependency...i wonder how its really like...

Falling in love...after 3 years of singlehood...

hmm... recently met up with a guy...

Having a nostalgic feel now... Its not really a burning passionate "in-love" kind of feel... but a peaceful, calm, soothing sense...which i haven't experienced in a long time.. perhaps its because i knew him long ago already...

Most importantly, i think this time, its mutual. It is unlike those couple of guys i met this recent year.. none of the guys, no matter how handsome, how eloquent, how intelligent, how witty, all never gave me the "click" feel.

Recently met up with Tammie, and we had a good exchange of pointers, dealing with man. hAah~~ it was interesting. We, as woman, should really know our man inside-out and understand their needs, emotions, especially how to handle their ego. haAHaA~~ That's about being in-control of our emotions and not losing yourself in a relationship. I used to really plunge and fall badly....now, hell no man. I'm gonna play my game well this time. ;)

Women, should be confident of themselves at all times. In relationships, not only must we be independent, we must learn how to work out together with our other half, especially during bad times.. Interdependence. :) Hope he doesn't make any mistakes this time. Silly old boy... i will seriously kick him to Pacific Ocean if he dares to play me out again...

Therefore, I'll make the best out of this relationship once again, and even if it doesn't work out this time ard again, i'm not gonna cry over it and regret it... It's his lost if he doesn't want me. I'm good, ok?.. "I used to cry, but now i hold my head up high"... ;)

So, now, 24years old le!! Should really do something about my love life. haha~~* Looking to a brand new start with him. :D

Blast! Drumline Battery Battle

This is Blast! Drumline Battery Battle. One of the coolest Drumline shows i've seen on youtube. I got to see this while at Jeremy's place with Mitch and Anthony.

Learnt rolling on the sticks, taught by Mitch, so i checked out Drumline videos. This one Damn shiok lah! Enjoy! :)

Tommy Emmanuel - The Greatest Guitarist ever!!!

This is a video clip of Tommy Emmanuel, one of the Greatest guitarist ever! The song is, Somewhere over the Rainbow.

He's a personal favourite of Arthur Yap, and i actually "youtubed" him to find out how great he is. Arthur's a great musician as well, cos the songs he sang during the biz seminar TOTALLY blew me away!! DAMN GREAT vocals lah!!! He can compose music and lyrics!! He's actually very experienced with alot of musical instrutments (except the piano) haha~~

A little about Tommy Emmanuel: He's good, because he can play the bass, acomplement, melody and do tuning on a SINGLE guitar for an entire song! Its like, an entire song of different parts are played by a SINGLE person! That's why Arthur totally adores him...woohoo~