The Declaration

After talking to Lin for 1hr 23mins on the phone (now 12:52am), i decided that i shall make the move, for the 3rd time and the last time, to declare my liking for him (realised that i din say "love" for him? i'm scared of committment too!!)

O'right...declare my love for him. To true love. If he turns me down again, i must commit myself to finding true love and not look back. I shall go for The Dating Loft's session on 14 Feb 2008!! 6 singles' meeting session and 12 private datings!!!

You know, the proudest thing i ever do, most daring and courageous stuff i ever did, was to tell someone that i like him. I can be a coward doing presentations, but telling or chasing someone, THAT i can do. However, to do it AND commit to loving him for my lifetime (of course i started it wanting it to last a lifetime!!).. its tough. But i still want to do it, this time ard... either commit, or move on.

Times are running out, towards the cut off date on 12 Dec for the franchise trading biz, but i just find myself unable to fully commit to work if i can't get my heart settled. I want to get things done and know how's he doing, whether he's getting on well out there...I want to commit to both my work and true love. If things works out, time can be planned and managed. If committment isn't promised...i guess..i wouldn't be able to do well in either biz or true love... I sincerely do think that both things are linked. Yah..whatever.

So this weekend is the Ultimum. Wish me love. :)

HERO!!!

I won a contest!! A pair of movie preview tickets to HERO!! And guess who i went with? hehe...no one knows... ;)

That show was simply awesome.. haha, although he doesn't quite understand how the story flows (because they were speaking Japanese all the time! sometimes got spanish, got korea also!!) Overall, its a good show to catch. ;) The company is even better. Our 2nd movie together. Better this time round. Don't tell him u all saw this posting! Its a public secret!! (doubt that he ever reads blogs..IT idiot..ahah~)

We had Subway Veggie Delite for dinner, with 3 cookies, 2 cups of ice lemon teas and it was quite filling. Throughout the movie, it felt it is quite the same as the drama serial "Hero" itself. Quite memorable, because it was one of my favourite TV serials in my sec sch days. =) hahAHa~* Oh..my hero..haha~*

There's the female lead, who waited(although she denys..) 6 years for the male lead! I wonder i will ever wait that long..and coincidentally, i'll calculated a few days back that, according to what-so-ever info i heard from last time, human relationship feelings for another partner starts to ... "subside",due to some hormones..dunno what lah.. after a couple of years.Somemore mine is one-sided!! HaizZz....I think mine is 3 years maximum. 2 years passed already. Left 1 more year... haha~* I want my other half by next Valentines' day!!! Hope my dream comes true. =)

Anyway, nowadays very busy..with tons of work @ citibank. Its the physical tireness straining after work. PLUS Arthur Yap's in the picture!! Franchise Trading Model!! A model that totally excites me! Gets my adrenalin pumping to aim for my monthly goals!!! Man...i'll be busy doing activities, so may not be updating the blog for sometime.. so hahAHA~~ i'll do when i have the time to. ;)

拥抱爱与丰盛 Love and Abundance

知见心理学国际训练师张含瑄老师 (Zhang Han Xuan) was here for 2days session @ SMU. Session was amazing.. time for self-healing and applying what i've learnt.

Typing this after eaten cheese prata from my neighbour kopitiam. I really loved the prata there, because of a special person...

I used to hate my own birthdays..because of certain events which happened in the past. The only 2 good birthdays i will remember forever is my 16th and 23rd birthday. The 16th was with my a group of beloved friends from BTband who brought me to ECP on a rainy day. ahahAH~* And the 23rd, was with this special guy, knowing that i was gonna spend a lonely birthday by myself, accompanied me to my neighbourhood kopitiam to eat roti prata.

How's it related to PoV? I used to hate birthdays because of a lack of self-worthiness, an event happened during my 7th birthday. Going for PoV, i set 2 goals to achieve:
1) A promise to heal and love myself (this is very difficult for most pple)
2) To have a partner by next year Valentine's day 2008
Only when i learn to love myself (not having self-guilt, self-attacks,and commit to loving myself for who i am), i will be able to love others.

Ms. Zhang Han Xuan metioned that during a relationship, there is the honeymoon period, followed by the Power struggle period, where couples may start to notice each other's so-called incompatibility, faults, and mistakes. Ususally couples break up when they can't get past this stage.

A question asked by Ms. Zhang Han Xuan,
Qns: How to differentiate love and needs?
Ans: Do you love him so u need him, or do you need him so you love him?
Take time off, be with yourself and ask that question.
And if you still don't know, then Commit to the person. A promise to your other half in the relationship.

How to survive power struggle? Power Struggle happens during the independent stage of a relationship. Committement to another person is the route to interdependence, is one of the hardest things to do, especially when you don't even love yourself.

Love thyself, and you will be able to love others. How can you give love to others when u are in drought, lack of it? :)

Pursuit of Happyness - a start through PoV

I made up my mind to attend this coming weekend's 2 day PoV workshop by Zhang Han Xuan.

With only one thing in mind, Pursuit of Happyness. To revive myself from the drought in relationship i am suffering. To rekindle the light i always have for the pple i love. =) Jia you!~*

Got this idea at 31 October 2007, 23:58. Decision set at 1 November 2007, 00:00! It'll mark a great beginning to next year 2008!!! Hereby, I wish for the love i wholly desired for all these years, by the coming Valentine's day (2008). =)