Once again! Copied fro
m Yanni's blog postings which will definitely benefit people...here's it.
(This is for guys in long term relationship only, not applicable to honeymoon period, single guys or those 1 night stand scenario)
According to Dr Chuck Spezzano, sex is not about the action, it is about the process and the energy. However, let’s put those complicated psychologies aside, just want to put in simple words, to help those guys that always get rejected by his partner at night or every night his partner complaints having a headache or stomachache. Also, to give the girls a break, from having to have headaches every night.What you should take note of;
1. Body odour ( pls check your mouth, armpit, chest, feet and especially the part that sticks out ), for most women, hygiene is a must have and the best turn off is some unbearable smell. Who wants to make love to a smelly fish?
2. Ask for sex ( never never never never ask your partner over the dinner or supper “Honey, shall we do it later?” If you are already in the bedroom and you still asked, then something must be wrong in your brain. 8 out of 10 times you asked, I assured you, the immediate answer is no, or if your partner is more polite, she will tell you she’s too tired or having some pain somewhere. ) Frankly I still don’t understand why, but we women really don’t like our partner to ask for sex, maybe deep down, we feel that by answering yes, we might become a slut or not so innocence and pure anymore. Btw, since young, all mothers tell their girls to say no if guys ask them for sex, so an automatic rejection mode will be activated in that situation.
3. Too needy ( if you display too strong a need, it’s major turn off )
4. Only interested in sex, nothing but sex ( woman need to feel love in order to engage in sex. If you don’t show interest in her feelings, not communicating with her emotionally, you just put her in sacrifice even if she does it with you. Please, make love, and not have sex.)
5. Your hands go straight to the vital parts ( please lah, men always imposed their likings to their partner, and thought this is the best way to arouse a woman, big mistake. If you go straight to the sensitive part before your woman relax, you will make her feel violated. As a partner, please find out where to touch to relax your woman, you will be surprise that sometimes it could be the hand, neck or even the back. A girlfriend ever told me that she loves it when a man holds her hands and caressing it for hours. )
6. No show of appreciation for your partner’s body.
7. Only interested in getting the job done.
8. Stingy in compliments ( woman loves it when her man compliment her, and with creativity and sincerity.
9. There a things that should not be discuss on bed, unless you want to turn her off – parents, money,work,politics, gossips, criticize her, children and any other serious stuff. Suggests you can start a conversation on those early honeymoon dating time, the holidays you had together and the places 2 of you want to go in the future, talk about wine, food, leisure (but not golf unless she’s a golfer too).
10. Do not make love with a hidden agenda – to conquer her, to express your anger, to let go of stress, to make baby….Please, only one agenda in love making, communication of love.
11. Let go of your performance!!!! Stop asking “how are you feeling….how am I doing….” Just shut up, let her relax and enjoy. Trust me, if your partner can still give you scores like the judges in Star Search, you’re in deep trouble.
12. Don’t go straight to do washing right after the action. Try your best to admire her body even after the action when you are dead tired. Show appreciation. If need so, walk her to the washroom. Don’t sleep before her and left her thinking “ so sex is all he wants?”
Guys, if you can avoid all of the above, basically you should have a better love life, of course, paying more attention to the ladies during the day and been more sensitive could score you a lot more points before you hit the night. ( Girls, if you happened to be reading now, for your happiness sake, stop rejecting your partner if he is your long term partner. Of course if you insist not to get intimate before marriage, that’s totally fine and should be respected. Just don’t use sex as a weapon against you partner)
If you tried all of the above and still got rejected, maybe there’s a few reasons ;
a. She has either a conscious or sub-conscious judgement against sex
b. She’s in a power struggle with you
c. She felt bored about your same old style…..zzzzzz…..so boring, where are the wines, chocolates, flowers, sweet kisses, adoring eyes?
d. There’s a unconscious sexual guilt ( which is common among women all over the world )
e. You’re the father of her children, and she started calling you daddy.
f. Etc etc etc….
Anyway, whatever it is, please have patience. If you’re a pair of committed couples, you have many years to understand and explore each other. Give love and support in terms of sex, as usually women are very shy about this issue, and very rare that they are willing to seek for help.
Wish you all the best , with Love. Yanni
That's all for now! Till next time with good postings from Yanni!
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