Date with Valerie!~*

Yesterday, i had a date with Val, a fellow RCIA faciliatator in church...

Although she's only 19 years old, but i think...she's been gone through alot in life...and the words that comes out of her mouth speaks of wisdom (no rubbish at all!)..an extraordinary young lady..
Recently, maybe i'm just too bored and having nothing to do, i went "out-of-course" with life...She did her best to align me back..and amazingly..the homework she told me to do, worked!

The day before our meeting, she wrote to me in an email:

"At this moment of despair, pour out your heart to the Lord, give every fibre of your body to Him and cry out to Him. He will heal you and comfort you by helping you to discover more about yourself (your hurts, your talents, your weaknesses) and in His Time, He will help you to discern, to know of His Will for you. If He is calling you, be sure that He will make the Signs BIG and CLEAR.


HW: Pray with the bible, followed by a decade of Rosary."

As i prayed the Rosary, sorrow that was built up inside began to pour out...and within a few mins, a strong sense of protection began to envelope my heart...and the sense of despair went away...


I kind of like...wanted to squeeze all the tears out, but i couldn't, as there was no more hurt at that moment.. it was amazing...

We met up, and chat for a few hours outside MacDonalds at Civic centre.

Having trouble getting over my last guy, we talked through about relationships, hurts in life, family, knowing ourselves...

And, she gave me some homework to practise on...

1. Write 10 positive and 10 negatives about ourselves.

10 positives:

1. I am nice and pretty (quite surface...)
2. I am generous, when i have the money to treat friends..
3. I am a straight-forward, frank person.
4. I love children!!! I am good at handling them too!
5. I am good with uncles and aunties ( they love me like their child! Most of them. I act cute..ahhaahaAH~*)
6. I can easily cheer people up when i want to!
7. I can hang out with guys and not get bored easily. I'm easy-going actually.
8. I am quite patient.
9. I am quite tolerant and accepting person also.
10. I am forgiving. (After getting such a horrendous boyfriend, and still being able to forgive him, i think i'm REALLY a forgiving person..ahaAHaha~~*)

10 Negatives (Some are extremes of my positives..):

1. I am cut people with my words sometimes...especially to people closest to me..i will intentionally pick their weak spot and keep poking at it...to make them realise what's PAIN..(that's usually when they hurt me...i DO retaliate..)
2. I am insensitive with handling egos..especially Men's...
3. I am a TOO straight-forward sometimes...too blunt..
4. I have a LOUD voice..(maybe i'll turn into a naggy LOUD mama next time..haha~~)
5. I am persistent...meaning VERY STUBBORN person..
6. I "show face" when i'm in a really terrible mood...I can be a mood killer sometimes...
7. I am too reckless with decisions sometimes..anything also CHOP CHOP FAST FAST finish and move on...
8. I am poor with managing finances and organisation. Quite messy sometimes.. I am not good with tidying up stuffs.
9. I am not a "particular" person..not capable of scrutinizing details...don't have a good eye for details...
10. I treat friends better than family (changing now...i'm more family-oriented these days..)

2. Understand what is the kind of guy that we want for our lives.
SomeOne who can complement my weakness... I can add strength to his weaknesses...
Being in a relationship in Love, is actually different from being in a relationship in Marriage.

There's much much more to consider when the impending BIG "M" comes...
In marriage... conflicts are inevitable, there are bound to be differences, and its is these differences that we are here to complement each other. THERE's still much more to understand about Marriage...Matrimony..

I remembered that in my previous blog on the down-to-earth guy that i wanted..i mentioned the following list. From my weaknesses.. i'll need to add in points 11 onwards..

1. Have passion for life.
2. Be there to adore and care for me. Be there whenever i need him. Really love me for who i am.
3. Friendly guy to know, so my close friend can generally accept.
4. Willing to change for the better. Not stubborn. Good EQ.
5. Be investment savvy. Knows how to manage finance.
6. A determined guy. Once he sets to start something, he will not give up and pursues to the end.
7. Healthy guy without much bad habits.( I can tolerate drinking, but not smoking and clubbing.) (I give in to this..)
8. Loves to hear me talk, appreciates whatever i do for him.
9. Understands his priorities in life, values and beliefs.
10. Have faith and hope for life.
11. One who has an eye for details...can help me have look out for flaws, able to inspect, scrutinize.
12. One who is a rational person, keep me in check from making rash decisions.
13. One who is family-oriented (maybe being filial son will do.)
14. One who can accept my weakness at poking egos, being stubborn, not willing to listen...and be patient with me for that until i change for the better..
15. One who is willing to accept that we can grow together, willing to keep each other updated about our growth so that we will not drift apart...willing to spend time to know each other more, even when we are at our ripe old age...

"Before knowing about God, we must understand ourselves..."There's so much to understand from this sentence...

One answer for sure is....When we know oursleves..and when the time is ripe, God will prepare us for the special someone to come...in His Time..

That is why i have to do this homework.. (There's this amazing feeling that God sent her to speak to me...seriously!! No joke! You know when u believe...)

Right now, after talking to Valerie, i just wanna focus on praying for Anthony to lead a truly happy life (not gonna find out how's he been now, not gonna let whatever he do affect me now), and i know he'll only truly be happy DEEP DOWN HIS HEART if he's able to reconcile with God, and for me to find my True Love. + currently exploring Praying for others, my love ones, also will help me to expand my heart, my horizon, for more important things in life as well...

God's will be done. Amen.