What's your definition of Responsibility?

Responsibility = SUCCESS: Self-recognition; feeling of achievement; receiving for yourself and others
This is what i have for my nick on msn... Why did i put this up?

A week ago at SCS (Success Consultant Seminar, which deals with finding back the real you, empowering the core strength that you have in life), Dr. George Lim mentioned about the 5 important values of a successful person, one of which is, Responsibility. Behind all these values, they are fuelled by happiness or else it wouldn't be our value. For example, if you value warmth, you have happiness perhaps due to the fact that you have a happy family, or if you value health, you feel happy that you have great health and lead a great life.

There's this friend of mine,James. One of his core values is Responsibility. I asked him, what kind of happiness do you get out of responsibility? He replied,"A sense of happiness when you get things done. Very fulfilling, and its like, you are in control of your own life". However, responsibility means pain, heartbreak,detestment...all started when i was in secondary school....

When i was in lower sec, everything seems so beautiful. I was in the most prestiage band of singapore(i do recognise that). Its a military band, Bukit Panjang Govt. High/ Teck whye combined military band (BT Band). We went for Outdoor Display Band Competitions, NDP, etc. Its the ability to command over 200students in a single uniform group that i'm very proud of. I'm the 开心果 of my clarinet section, always making my seniors "laugh-till-they-drop" during practice session. They can NEVER get mad at me...cos they love me so much!!!!!

The clarinet section is divided into 3 parts, 1st clari, 2nd clari and 3rd clarinet. I rem that i fought hard to become the 1st clarinet player, because i was the only one amongst the 3 girls from Bukit Panjang (BP)without music background. I really wanted to prove myself and get to the 1st. Day and night i brought my instrument home,practice, and practice, til the day for the mini-test, i almost couldn't make it. But i did it, after i begged for another go at it. I got in. ;) I was recognised soon after as one of the loudest players (loud does not mean good. hahaa~~*) I needed the loudness, the huge diaphragm power to project the music across the large field. I practiced hard, because i know thats my responsibility. If i do well, my team will do well cos we will support each other. Although i was in lower sec, i took things into my hands when i see things go wrong. During band competitions, me and my fellow mates team up together to solve problems, marching formations, music playing procedures, how to perfect the music, etc. Being able to get things settled fast while having fun, that's the time of my life~* I always remembered this saying when i first heard it "How great a leader, is determined by the amount of responsibilities he can take and carry."


Things took a huge turn during upper sec. I can nominated assistant sectional leader (ASL). I wasn't the popular ones, but i was the hardworking one. I worked hard, and at the end of the year, i got a rank on par with the band leaders, overtaking almost all the other sectional leaders. But what did i get? Hatred, detestment, confusions, sense of lost, sadness.


You know, the worst thing isn't me being called the witch, always scolding,shouting at pple. I do scold my juniors, but i'm always good to them after band sessions and they understand. Relationships with other ASL worsened because i took things into my own hand when i see the SL couldn't commit. I must admit that my communication skills are bad, but What hurts me most was my favourite guy friend, Kumar, i dunno what the hell's with him, he turned his back on me when i needed help most and formed "Anti-Annie Club". (Sounds childish..but it was really hurtful)I don't mine not having alot of friends. It didn't matter. When the world turned their back against me, it doesn't matter. But when ur best friend does that, it sux. Hell... What has leadership gotten me into? Till now, he still doesn't know what made him do that. He mentioned he couldnt stand my stuck-up mad face when i do trainings.. its all in the past now... but the sickening feeling of "responsibility = lost" seems to linger..


Why did i mention all these? i had a very short conversation with KL just now and he made me recall about this topic on responsibility. I asked him, "Don't u ever feel strange, like where's the line between being the leader of the pack and a friend? You have to be firm, be decisive when doing stuffs, sometimes kena misundestood to get things done, and after everythings done, the relationships sort of ...goes bad.." He had his own fair share on this issue, however, he said that, "used to have that.. but the trip to taiwan Richie demonstrated to me that it can co-exist. ya during the trip he show us how to b a leader and friend at the same time. He is fantastic. learn the skill along the way.. we r all so young.as long as you desire it.. it ultimately can b done."


Yup, long way to go, and since i brought this whole issue about responsibility up, i must take it into my whole hands and face it again. Woohoo!! Feels good typing it all out!!! Damn i'm good! hahaAHaa~~* Must let Kumar see this! ;) Wanna have a good look at my good friend?


He's really awesome!! If he doesn't smoke,don't be so sturborn, don't be fat, don't be indian, don't be black,(haha he doesn't mind me saying this), don't be slack, i might go after him! hahaAHaA~~*
He's very caring, huggable, loveable, a percussion instructor, and most of all, he understands Chinese!!!!!!!!!! He loves Chinese more than his Indian neighbour! haha~~*
Ok enough promoting him!If you all got any girls who likes Indian guys, do intro! haAHAa~~* ;)