12 things that you should avoid if you want good sex

Once again! Copied from Yanni's blog postings which will definitely benefit people...here's it.

(This is for guys in long term relationship only, not applicable to honeymoon period, single guys or those 1 night stand scenario)

According to Dr Chuck Spezzano, sex is not about the action, it is about the process and the energy. However, let’s put those complicated psychologies aside, just want to put in simple words, to help those guys that always get rejected by his partner at night or every night his partner complaints having a headache or stomachache. Also, to give the girls a break, from having to have headaches every night.What you should take note of;

1. Body odour ( pls check your mouth, armpit, chest, feet and especially the part that sticks out ), for most women, hygiene is a must have and the best turn off is some unbearable smell. Who wants to make love to a smelly fish?

2. Ask for sex ( never never never never ask your partner over the dinner or supper “Honey, shall we do it later?” If you are already in the bedroom and you still asked, then something must be wrong in your brain. 8 out of 10 times you asked, I assured you, the immediate answer is no, or if your partner is more polite, she will tell you she’s too tired or having some pain somewhere. ) Frankly I still don’t understand why, but we women really don’t like our partner to ask for sex, maybe deep down, we feel that by answering yes, we might become a slut or not so innocence and pure anymore. Btw, since young, all mothers tell their girls to say no if guys ask them for sex, so an automatic rejection mode will be activated in that situation.

3. Too needy ( if you display too strong a need, it’s major turn off )

4. Only interested in sex, nothing but sex ( woman need to feel love in order to engage in sex. If you don’t show interest in her feelings, not communicating with her emotionally, you just put her in sacrifice even if she does it with you. Please, make love, and not have sex.)

5. Your hands go straight to the vital parts ( please lah, men always imposed their likings to their partner, and thought this is the best way to arouse a woman, big mistake. If you go straight to the sensitive part before your woman relax, you will make her feel violated. As a partner, please find out where to touch to relax your woman, you will be surprise that sometimes it could be the hand, neck or even the back. A girlfriend ever told me that she loves it when a man holds her hands and caressing it for hours. )

6. No show of appreciation for your partner’s body.

7. Only interested in getting the job done.

8. Stingy in compliments ( woman loves it when her man compliment her, and with creativity and sincerity.

9. There a things that should not be discuss on bed, unless you want to turn her off – parents, money,work,politics, gossips, criticize her, children and any other serious stuff. Suggests you can start a conversation on those early honeymoon dating time, the holidays you had together and the places 2 of you want to go in the future, talk about wine, food, leisure (but not golf unless she’s a golfer too).

10. Do not make love with a hidden agenda – to conquer her, to express your anger, to let go of stress, to make baby….Please, only one agenda in love making, communication of love.

11. Let go of your performance!!!! Stop asking “how are you feeling….how am I doing….” Just shut up, let her relax and enjoy. Trust me, if your partner can still give you scores like the judges in Star Search, you’re in deep trouble.

12. Don’t go straight to do washing right after the action. Try your best to admire her body even after the action when you are dead tired. Show appreciation. If need so, walk her to the washroom. Don’t sleep before her and left her thinking “ so sex is all he wants?”

Guys, if you can avoid all of the above, basically you should have a better love life, of course, paying more attention to the ladies during the day and been more sensitive could score you a lot more points before you hit the night. ( Girls, if you happened to be reading now, for your happiness sake, stop rejecting your partner if he is your long term partner. Of course if you insist not to get intimate before marriage, that’s totally fine and should be respected. Just don’t use sex as a weapon against you partner)

If you tried all of the above and still got rejected, maybe there’s a few reasons ;

a. She has either a conscious or sub-conscious judgement against sex

b. She’s in a power struggle with you

c. She felt bored about your same old style…..zzzzzz…..so boring, where are the wines, chocolates, flowers, sweet kisses, adoring eyes?

d. There’s a unconscious sexual guilt ( which is common among women all over the world )

e. You’re the father of her children, and she started calling you daddy.

f. Etc etc etc….

Anyway, whatever it is, please have patience. If you’re a pair of committed couples, you have many years to understand and explore each other. Give love and support in terms of sex, as usually women are very shy about this issue, and very rare that they are willing to seek for help.

Wish you all the best , with Love. Yanni

That's all for now! Till next time with good postings from Yanni!

Secret Collection (aka 人生四大秘密) by Adam J. Jackson

Recently started to read on this book...

i wanted to get the english version, which have ended publishing for a long time already. There are 4 volumes to this book, "Secret Collection aka 人生四大秘密" by Adam J. Jackson.

The 4 volumes are:

10 Secrets of Abundant Love

10 Secrets of Abundant Happiness

10 Secrets to Abundant Health

10 Secrets to Abundant Wealth

And you know what?

Each part is sold differently, and the value of this english version is very high!! A part costing Euro50-90 dollars!!! That's like..SGD $100 - $200 per book!!! Really valuable book...

This series of Adam J Jackson's books are really very good...and currently, i'm reading the chinese version, which is 4 volumes combined into 1. It's hard for me now, cos i don't usually read Chinese books already. But since it is a whole lot cheaper (with free ebook downloads online), i can live with it. One day, i'll get my hands on the english version... :)

This is really a good book, highly recommended to all. :)

Subsquently, i will post up good readings on the contents of the book (with ugly translation by Annie!)

Kelong Acheh @ Mersing (09-10 August 2008)

We started off at 4.30am, getting ready, take our morning kopi, tea, and set off toward the Causeway. The causeway was abit jammed, so the guys had a good "swearing time" in the car, to past time to get to Mersing. Takes 3 hours to travel! And thank God we have Neil around, who doesn't mind driving 3 hrs non-stop.

Our destination is Kelong Acheh, one of the four Kelongs in Mersing (i heard its 4..correct me if i'm wrong. We may be the fifth in future. hhaAHa~~*) The kelong stay is only 150RM, plus minus, i only spent about 200RM for the whole trip! afforadable and nice~

We had Breakfast at a chinese food centre at Mersing, then set off towards Pemboyang, near the jetty location. We thought from Mersing town itself to the jetty is quite near, but it actually took us another 20-30 mins!! Check out the photos below... :)

You know what this photo signifies??

Something is coming.....

Cows....and very skinny ones (unlike New Zealand and Australia)..poor thing.. And we're doing our best to avoid their piles of shit on the road..

The Bridge towards "Jetty @ Mersing" And yah! That's my dear Anthony!

Mitch, typing away while i clicked my handphone camera..~ This photo is sceneric and peaceful...

That's Neil, and he's emo-position. hahAAHa~ i feel like getting a SLR camera!!! damn the scenery is nice! And Neil brought his camera, WITHOUT his SDcard!! That's why he's feeling emo... ahhaAAHa~~*

Anthony. :) I thought he brought a sunglass, but i forgot its his transition lense. Wow~ He really put it to good use this time. :D

Schools of fishes that we caught most of the time..too small..like nasi lemak fish. So we didn't keep it...
That's the Kelong worker, fishing out the pile of small fishes, called taman. There's a type of hooks, called taman hooks, that are used to catch them, and use them to be baits for BIG fishes.

They get attracted easily to the taman hooks, by the shiny looks of it and without any baits. That's why the guys calls them, stupid fish.

That guy is fishing them out, so people on the kelong can use them to be live baits.

The live baits..so sad..most of them get dried up when no one comes to take them....hope they got a better next life.
That's our room, with a high security door. Needs alot of strength to slid them open, and very noisy when anyone tries to do that. haaAHah!~~
Anthony, slacking outside of our room to take cover from the blasting sun. Hot afternoon, and the guys are sunburnt.

He's actually trying to fish through that small hole outside our room!! Big enough for small fishes to go in. hahaHA~*

Lunch! Not that fantastic..got fried squid, vege, seasame seed oil chicken and potatoes, soup and tomato sauce fish. i'm starting to take seafood already (so that i dun feel weird while having meals with close friends), but i'm not ready to take white or red meat at all. And i dun think i want to take them either. I compromised on taking seafood and meat soup already, huge compromise to make, and i'll just stop there...So pls dun ever try to make me eat meat non other than seafood again.
Nice photo, with no one guarding the rods. No BIG catches are spotted by anyone. We are considering getting a boat rented next time :) Its only 700RM for 2 days! If split by 4-6 persons, its only about 120 -175 per pax! We can bring our own food, and sail out to the sea! nice!

Beautiful~ That's during the sunset. About 6.30pm.

Ant asked me to jio a few friends, like Cynthia or whoever wants to experience fishing, so that next time i wouldn't feel bored also. He wants "guy time only" as well. hahaHA~ actually i'm quite ok on my own, he just worries abit too much. hahaAaH~*

Another one! Lovely~ SLR camera will be better!

This is our room. Alot of space, as it accomadates a big group.

In the Kelong, the groups stays together in a room, because the place in NOT a hotel. Can roughly accomadate not more than 10-15 groups.

Also, there's no electricity before 6.30pm, as they need to turn on the electric generator to have electricity. We expected worst, so this is quite ok for us already. Kelong experience is quite good after all! :D
When i was young, I used to build small rooms using furnitures and imagined myself having a small hut something like this..a small room, with windows. That's all. Wow! My dream came true!
Photo taken over dinner!

That's morning already. 8.30am and we continued after a night of turbulent waters with no signs of fishes ard. The strong currents and wind makes it difficult for both man to fish and fishes to swim also. hahaHAahA~~*

That's Neil, with his windbreaker. He came prepared...

The guys spotted a sea worm inside their squid bait! And looking at it crawl and drop back into the sea...

The guys photo, and Mitch just wants to get back to his fishing. No time left!!! Gonna go off in half hour time!

That's Mitch Soloman.
Turbulent waters with angry looking clouds coming..
The sky is so BIG, i can actually still catch sight of the OTHER side with better weather! nice sunshine! :)

That's me! Finally i get to take my own photo!! :D

Planning to go Kelong every 2 months! Perhaps another trip in late august too! For Aunt Cynthia and Uncle Johnny's silver wedding anniversary. :D More exciting experience awaits..!!

Jack Neo's Money No Enough

Just went for a Movie Premeire, 30 July last wednesday.

Went with dear, and also friends KL, Cyn,her bf Jonkee, Weijie, Mingjian and Tammie.

Realised that Jack Neo is really an inspiring man. Through his movie, and watching 艺点心思 about his life, allows me to understand further abt his movies and productions.

Money No Enough 2 is really quite a good show to watch. And its even better when my dear told me more about his stories.

I have never watch Money No Enough before. And till now, i never did. Initially during the show, i was thinking like..."Yup, it's quite good ONLY." And we had fun laughing at our friend, Neil, who was part of the crew in the production, acting as a tight-fit wearing gangster. ahahaaAHa~~*

However, the part whereby the Ah ma (auntie who acted as Jack Neo, Mark Lee and Henry Thia's mum) is showcasted, the protrayal of family ties,problems faced by families, money issues...especially the part whereby Henry thia sent his mum to old folks home...That was so sO sooOoooOo sad!!!

Ant mentioned that Jack Neo's filming skills have really matured, and after the premeire, we went to shake his hand, and also took a photo of him! We saw a sincere person, no airs, who lead his life brilliantly and fought hard for his dreams and visions despite all odds.

Why the mentioning of Jack Neo and this show?

It is because, he reminds me of...The Pursuit of Happyness.

Jack Neo was a sec 4 graduate, because he managed to miss the mark to get into Junior College. With no proper education during his time (he is now 48years old), he went straight to army and was in the drama and music company.

Since then, he was into Entertainment world,drama and the art, till this day. All was not easy as it seems, and no one ever expected a Singaporean could produce box-office smashing movies. Now, he's now titled as a National Treasure, next to our MM Lee Kuan Yew.

More than 20over years he fought on in this industry.. If i were to step into the small military band and music industry, would i be able to achieve what he did?...

This is why, he's become a Singaporean inspiration to me, other than MM Lee in Singapore.

The show's really nice! a Must watch for the typical Singaporean! ;)

Pls give your man the Love and Tenderness of Mother Earth (Part 1)

Another posting plagarised from Yanni. AHaaAHaha~~~*
I love relationship postings from Yanni, and of course, i love Arthur's leadership talks, damn bloody funny, truthful, profound, entertaining and meaningful whenever he relates to fundamentals and philosopies of life. Both are great leaders, in their own field. Hope i can successfully translate to a full compiled set of knowledge and system for band coaching in future (if i ever successful get into the music industry again: target 2009)

Now here's the posting by Yanni,
Woman...pls give your man the Love and Tenderness of Mother Earth
(This is for girls only, and guys, don't believe a single thing I said)

After many years of research and studying in men, I finally agree to Jeff Allen and Hiromi, that man are in fact a simple animal, 500 times less complicated than woman.

Regardless of age, whether 2years old, 20s, 30s or 80s, they are still a boy at heart. The most hurting words you can say to them is “hey, please grow up”. The more mature, logical and sensible they appear, is actually a camouflage of their childish self. If you don't believe, disguish yourself and go to the army whereby no girls is in sight, see what stupid things they do with each other or what silly things they talk about ( they definitely don't discuss about “How to become a Great husband” girls, give it up). Good news is, they don't bitch around.

So what does boys hated most? Their mommy nag at them and don't allow them to play.

Every woman has her motherly nature, unfortunately we always use it in the wrong way. When we are dating, we play with our boyfriend, having lots of fun, but once stable down, we inherit our mother's, grandmother's, great grandmother's habit, we become their”mother”, wanting them to do things our way, controling them because it's good for them. Please lah, when our mother tell us not to do certain things because they meant good to us, when did we ever listen?

A few things might happen,
1. they really listen to us and follow our way, and become a boring nice man, and you start
wondering, where does all those passion went?

2. They defy our way, and started the stage of power struggle, whether it's a direct warfare or cold war, there will be casualties, and it's usually both parties.

3. On the surface, they are goody pussy cat, turn around, the dark knight waiting to strike, just waiting for a single chance to get even. No wonder so many men love the Batman movie.

So what does boys really want?
1.After 1 hard day of entertaining boring clients, pleasing the difficult boss, paying endless ERP and still getting jam in the traffic, they just want a place whereby their sensitive little heart can feel safe, to let go of their armour. Giving them peace in terms of sound and mind is very important. Don't worry, if they have enough cave time, they will start coming to you, in many ways :)

2.Boys love mommy's appreciation and attention. From young, boys tried all ways to win mommy's love, regardless of the roles they play. A simple word of “well done” or something as big as “you're my hero” will give them the power to fight 10 more dragons.

3.Deep in their heart, boys equate his success/failure directly to how happy his woman is. So if we girls, play the victim role, thinking of getting the boy's attention and love, we are making a grave mistake. 1St, 2nd time,our man will still response to our calling of love, but after a while, suddenly his work becomes so busy and he starts to have endless meetings and starts have endless amount of work.

4.Boys are as insecure as we girls, though they tried their very best not to show it out. We girls, on the other hand, inherited from our ancestors the gentle tenderness of mother earth. Our femine power allows us to give love, receive abundance, nourishes the soul, warmth the heart, provide a sanctuary for them to rest in.

5.Men are simple, they just want food, love and sex. Yes, sex isdefinitely a must in a man's life. Don't always let your man beg for sex, it's too hard on their ego. Give them a good treat sometimes, jump on to them, give them a surprise, take initiative in sex. Be the one that go book a nice hotel room, be a Ritz-Carlton or hotel 81, trust me, the men don't really mind :) They just want to have a good time with you. Even in a dark carpark in East Coast, even better.

(End of Part 1)

Note: I'm definitely not good with the 5th point...too conservative... hahaAHA~~*