What am i looking for? Do i trust God can provide me?

Its Sunday! So naturally, its church day! Sabbath day! Our Lord's day! A day where we put aside all work, and rest... =) so sad cynthia has to work every sunday... May she pass this period of agony and pray that good times comes for her... =)

So today's gospel is on...

Scripture: John 6:1-15
After this Jesus went to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, which is the Sea of Tiber'i-as. And a multitude followed him, because they saw the signs which he did on those who were diseased. Jesus went up on the mountain, and there sat down with his disciples. Now the Passover, the feast of the Jews, was at hand. Lifting up his eyes, then, and seeing that a multitude was coming to him, Jesus said to Philip, "How are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?" This he said to test him, for he himself knew what he would do. Philip answered him, "Two hundred denarii would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little." One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, said to him, "There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two fish; but what are they among so many?" Jesus said, "Make the people sit down." Now there was much grass in the place; so the men sat down, in number about five thousand. Jesus then took the loaves, and when he had given thanks, he distributed them to those who were seated; so also the fish, as much as they wanted. And when they had eaten their fill, he told his disciples, "Gather up the fragments left over, that nothing may be lost." So they gathered them up and filled twelve baskets with fragments from the five barley loaves, left by those who had eaten. When the people saw the sign which he had done, they said, "This is indeed the prophet who is to come into the world!" Perceiving then that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, Jesus withdrew again to the mountain by himself.

Meditation:
Sometimes people de-supernaturalize John 6:1-15 with explanations such as: "The real miracle is that Jesus got the people to share the food they had brought with them", and even this: "There wasn't enough food for everyone to have their fill, but what they had was offered to everyone, and the people were just so appreciative and willing to make sacrifices that they ate very little and thus there was food left over."

The multiplication of the loaves and fish into a meal that not only satisfied everyone but was more than what they needed is an important foreshadowing of the Eucharistic banquet that we celebrate today. If we pay attention to what's going on in Eucharistic and if we take it to heart, Jesus satisfies our hungers and gives us more than we need. What did you need from him before you arrived at church? He's trying to give it to you in abundance! Receiving all that he wants to miraculously give us requires that we trust him to provide for us. We have to expect the unexpected. We have to wait on his perfect timing. But rest assured that he wants to give us more than we need.

Maybe some of the folks on that ancient hillside wanted steak instead of fish, but what they received was a Messiah who filled their hearts with more than enough faith to grow spiritually, more than enough hope to become stronger in their trials, and more than enough love to share as they went forth to reveal Christ to others. In our Liturgies of the Eucharist, there's a lot more abundance to receive from Jesus than just a little piece of bread and a sip of wine. What do you really need from Jesus? More faith? More hope? More love? It's a good idea to think about this on the way to Eucharistic so that you can participate in Eucharistic more expectantly.

Reflections:
1. The people went to Jesus because there was something missing in their lives. They were searching. Sometimes we are searching ourselves but we cannot find what we are looking for unless, we know what we are looking for. Do you know what you are searching in life?

2. The man who found a treasure in the field, sold everything he had and bought that field. What have you forsaken to find what you have been looking for in life?

3. The multiplication of fish and loaves reveal the power and depth of care Jesus has for his people. Have you allowed yourself to experience this in your life? Have you been able to give up control over your life to accept His providential care for you?

4. Do you really trust the Lord to look after you?

Hmm...this is so long................
But throughout the whole sermon and after the whole bible session, i was thinking..."What am i looking for? Do i trust God to look after me and provide me with what i need?"

The days in my current teaching career is fulfilling....but i just can't help it, but feel.......empty. Everything has been great for me, smooth sailing now, with the Lord in my heart, always with me...but i longed for my love... my ex has always been on my mind.. always, day and night, and its been such a sensitive topic that i never really wanna touch on it, except with my closest friends around who understands how i feel and why i still persist on feeling it this way...

Yes, i've been praying for his wellbeing, his overcoming of himself and coming back to receive God's love...and also prayed that if he's the One, hope that the Lord will guide him back to me.. AFter so much obstacles in relationships with different people, i get to differentiate what really meant to me, and still, being the silly sturborn girl, i believe deeply that he's the One..

After thursday session with Father Terence on Death and Resurrection, i really am believeing that JEsus will provide for me.. He wants the best for me... so if i'm not sure whether the Lord meant "he" for me, i will pray for the Lord to give me 7 signs...signs that only the Lord and I will know, which will determine whether "he" is the One.. when it works, i'll let the whole world know!

Jesus, I Trust in You. Please pray over my friends, my families, my wellbeing and especially my love..guide him back to Christ and envelope him with so much Love that he will never want to turn away from you again, ever. I ask this, in Jesus Christ most sacred name,
Amen.