A fresh start!

Wow...its been 1 month since the last posting...
Anyway, school term is over...so i was kinda, back into the depression mode..without Anthony around by my side. Actually, i guessed that i was almost too reliant on him. That's quite a pull-off, to always stick to him when i was still together with him....thinking back, i seriously think i behaved too much of a "sticky" wife to him. I bore him at times as well. Because we are BOTH boring people..So naturally, he and i can't handle it...haizZZz..

I'm still missing him, thinking about him, and sometimes, in my dreams i see him too.. (i feel like an emo psycho..) The things that we've done together, it felt so much like just a few days or weeks ago. Very vivid. STILL very clear in my mind..

Anyway, i have to move on. Thinking clearer now (yah....took quite a long time for me to think it through yah...but its not too late..) So, what i wanna be in 5-10 years time, i'll have to decide now! Just like what i've always been telling my students.. :)

Get real!

I wanted to get married by the age of 28...but now, it doesn't seem realistic at all. The whole idea of a happy marriage before 30 seems impossible now, and i do not look forward to it anymore as well. The whole new plan (a new door) is unveiling itself now, so i might just go for this new perspective...

I plan to give myself 8-1o years more of singlehood, before i plunge into marriage. That means, marriage by 33 - 35.

Maybe a boyfriend in 5 years time. That's the most possible timeline i can work out. I'm feeling so....uninterested in men now. The thought of entertaining a possibly new relationship seems so unappealing...I just want to be with God now.

For now, what i can do is to work on Career and Religious Life!!
Certain aspects of life i wanna fulfill are:
- Getting a driving license! Before 15 April 09 (i just passed BTT! Now getting my FTT done too..)
- Settle my debts..by this year end and early next year!
- Do some traveling before NIE training ends next year! (Thailand, parts of Malaysia, South Korea, Taiwan are all in the plans already..)
- I will really love to be able to play piano...contemplating of buying one in the near future.
- I wanna get a car by 3 years time. By 2012. A cheap second-hand car will do.
- I wanna change my wardrode!!! Planning $500 min. heeEHe~*
- I wanna definitely wanna get a flat on my own by age 35, if i'm still not married.

How about Career?
I intend to go into the leadership track, or the senior teaching track..
- CPA Head of Department by age 35.
i might just wanna get my ass into intensive CPA (Computer Applications) learning. With the fast evolving IT industry, i'm gonna start learning alot of animations, games making, video and movie creations, to keep up with the subjects learning pace. Alot of teachers in school just wanna teach, but don't wanna improve. So, CPA is the subject where i can improve myself and get up to HOD level. Maths is way TOO competitive.. ..
Alot of IT learning to do right now! Not stagnant at all in this field..can get entrepreneurial as well.. :)

Religious Life
Hmm..recently, it has been going dull. But i recognise it as normal. Because in a relationship, there are bound to be ups and downs. There are also times whereby i feel bored. Just like what i felt with Anthony as times as well. But the thing is, how do i revive the passion? Oh, that's effort. I have to stop being lazy and read up on the Word of God....my Bible! and also, get back into the activities of the church. I have been too busy with school work for the last 3-4months, that i neglected my spiritual life..

Nonetheless, God really took great care of me. There are many times when i grumble why must my life end up like this, and He will do something...so MAGICAL that i find it so amazing...things that happen to me.. that makes me realise that Love Changes everything. Hope does not fail...
And i will continously pray that, for the next few years that i've given myself, that miracle will happen.

Ah...!!~~Right now, i wanna stop caging myself up, get into some real serious work with career planning, and enjoy life having weekend mahjong sessions, ktv sessions, church sessions, shopping for Christmas and holidaying!!

In the name of Jesus Christ,
i pray for All my loved ones be blessed with your love and your joy, especially take care of my love Anthony as well. Now that he's having a car now, i pray for his safety on the roads and wherever he travels to.
Amen