Heaven on Earth..

The following blogpost is from Yanni, a friend and senior experienced in the field of psychology. Haven't seen her for quite a while, but i do check out interesting article on relationships and psychology from her.

Here's a good one..

Heaven on Earth, for our children

One of the most difficult technical knowledge we can learn in this world is Parenthood, it is something that our parents never teach us ( or they demonstrated the wrong method, cos their parents also did not know what to do). Most of the time we learned through trail and error, however by the time we realised our mistakes, if we do have the consciousness to know, hurt was already been done and many a times, we were in such a huge amount of guilt that we fall into denial or a vicious cycle of guilt – hurt – more guilt – more hurt...

The truth is,children are send from heaven to help us in our healing of our soul, they are the mirror of our sub-conscious and unconscious mind, and they brought heavenly gifts to help us mend our fractured soul.

If you are facing any challenges with your children, check out the following, for the sake of your child ;

1.How much you value yourself as a good mom/dad?
In fact, how much we value ourselves as a parent is equivilent to how much we value our parents of the same sex. If we cannot acknowledge our parents of the same sex we will also not be able to acknowledge our self value in our subconscious mind when we become parent. We get frustrated easily, always unhappy with our performance and in order not to feel the valuelessness inside us, we use anger to cover it.Our children is often the one that get it, unfortunately.

Way out – forgive our parents for the things they had done to us in our childhood, for not loving us the way we want them to love us, for not able to satisfy all our needs, for not able to give us the love and attention we need then. Understanding and acceptance is the best way towards forgiveness. As a parent now, you know that we will give everything we can give to our children,unless we don't have, that is the same to our parents to. They had done their best in their situation.

2.Are you in competition with your spouse?
Are you playing the good parent/bad parent game? Is one of the you in sacrifice and the other always busy? The model of competition started right from our birth, we compete with our parent of the same sex for the parent of the opposite sex, we compete with our siblings for food, for love and for attention.Deep inside our soul, we had a belief of scarcity, and in order to survive, we compete. Some compete through specialness, some through sacrifice, some through victimising, some through withdrawing. At the end of the day, there is always win-lose, but for the child, it's lose-lose. Never never never ask your child to choose between you and your spouse, it's the most cruel thing you can do to them.

Way out – join with your partner, make him/her your team mate instead of competitor. Be aware of the hiddened competition you have inside you and commit to oneness instead of seperation.

3.Let go of your expectations
Our expectations come from our unfulfilled needs in our childhood, however, instead of healing our childhood issue, most parents transfer all their needs to their child unknowingly. Instead of giving the child their own life, parents want the child to live the parent's life, to “enjoy” what the parents never enjoyed before, without really understanding what the children actually want. Just ask ourselves this question, is our children really happy? Is it what we adults want or what they really want?

4.Never talk to our children the way that we will never talk to our friend.
Be your child's best friend, treat them equally and trust them. Response to them and not react to them. Most parents react, when we react, it is emotional and does not help in the situation. Been responsive is to understand what our child trying to tell us through their actions, and see through their actions. When children mis-behave, most of the time either they are calling for love, calling for help or calling for attention. We have to coach our children, not through anger/violence/abuse, but through love and understanding.

Quite a nice article, not only for parents, but for us as children as well. :)

Jamming session!

Its been a long time since the last i went jamming with my old kakilangs ("our people")... i remembered that last of the last long loNG LONGggGGGG time ago was....in JC!!!! wow!!!! DAmn old lah!

Check out the photos below!

Sneaker an ice cream into jamming room! Sneaky me!
This photo is damn stylo lah...hahaAHA~ my dear's like my ice cream! so sweet~ ahaHAaHaAH~~*

That's Mitch on the drums, doing what he does best.
And Neil on the guitar with his charismatic voice~
And that's Anthony. yup~ my dear. haha~

Had a good time last sunday, jamming at bugis area. i sang with them! After like, so many years? I've never sang with them before, as i have always just sit by the side and enjoy them playing. First time sing and i'll made such a BIG JOKE!!!

Was singing "My immortal", and Mitch was standing beside me, with his gadget on the floor near me as well. As this song was without much guitar part at the front, i just sang and mitch waits for his turn to play. A Long wait.....

I was so excited and keep jumping and Jumping and JUMPING while singing, without him realising that.... I WAS STEPPING ON HIS GADGET!!! From A2, it went to F6!!!! That's like....near 30 times i've stepped on it!!! When it was his turn to strung his guitar, WE ALL LAUGHED OUT LOUD!!! hahaAHAha~~* The pitch was so distorted that we were laughing all the way to the end of the song, without Mitch being able to play his long-awaited part. ahahAAHah~~* My first song with the guys. ahahAAHah super Funny lah!!

Had a good day, singing, laughing, and i also went to pin's Church service. Not too bad, but i still can't take the singings... too loud for me, as i have this concept that, religion is a quiet thing, not so much of a celebration thingy everytime at the start. Congrats to pin being water-baptised! :)

After a long day, i also ended quite well with my dear. We had a cold period recently, and we talked things out. Now looking forward to the end of March next year, get out of current job and go into band teaching! Registering for ABRSM music theory test latest by 15 Aug, then 1 Nov is the test.

Looking forward to NDP as well!!! Going to play paintball and go fishing!!!!!!YiPeEee~~ And also 42.195km run i promised myself that i'll go for! Public declaration this time. Must experience that, once in a lifetime, so i wouldn't disappoint myself. ;)

Jia you jia you jia you! Towards a bright fulfilling future!!!

Communications.. The Five Love Languages

I didn't realised that when i speak, i sound cocky, overconfident to certain groups of people, like my old friends from band. But to certain people, like those from JC and NUS, they are perfectly normal to my way of communications...

My guy didn't realise that i dislike him to kick start a conversation with negative terms and tonality as well. And, he didn't realise that he did it! Its just natural for him to speak in his way, and me in my way..so, luckily we managed to talk this through and know each other better. Having a critic as a boyfriend can be tiring and sometimes, hurting as he can be damn bloody direct, but its good as well, because we are better able to talk things out as well.

Many couples in modern days, aren't able to last long. Even if they managed to get married, they end up in divorce. I wonder why...Is it because they are too messed up in their relationships that they can't be bothered to fix it? lack responsibility for each other? or they are not confident and do not have faith to carry on? There is a fundamental reasoning, but i can't really figure out myself, simply because i have never reached that stage before.

I love this book, The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. This book is recommended by Arthur Yap, really a great guy, a great leader of his life, his organisation, a man of philosophies and principles. A Man of honour. i always love to listen to his talks about life, business, career and jokes too!

Well anyway, This book is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED and it has ever since, become my bible for relationships. Initially, when i got this book before my relationship with my current guy, i thought..."How great can this book be"? I read...and fell asleep.........

Last night, i flipped it through, and amazingly, i discovered ALL my concerns are answered inside!!!!!!!!!!!! TRULY AMAZING RELATIONSHIP'S BIBLE!!! HaaahaAHAh~~*

*Carine go get it!!! Damn nice!! It can be your bible as well!!!!

Discover your primary Love Language...speak it, act on it, and your relationship will be sweet and long lasting... ;)

Power Struggle

He "stepped on my toes" today, and i flared up.

Man... i thought i could control my emotions, but i just seem to not be able to, in front of the man i love.

I name this stage "Independence" stage, and also further into it, its "Power struggle" stage in psychology terms.

Couples, when they get together, usually there are 3 stages. Namely, Dependence stage, Independence stage, and Interdependence stage.

Will talk abt the 3 stages some other time...
Just wanna whine abt this Power struggle now..

I do realise a long while ago, that i have a big ego. BIG BIG one. I totally cannot stand myself being labelled as a "whiny old woman","a typical woman", "a woman who follows her man wherever she goes", etc. I am NOT that kind of woman. I seek freedom to do stuffs, and in my way.

My guy, is also a man with a passion for Freedom. Man, has ego. Default. If they have no ego, something is going wrong there... So, sometime we have struggles with that. If i say or do anything "too much", i'm labelled a typical woman. The thing is i KNOW he doesn't mean it, but i STILL flare up!!! Sometimes i know certain things will hurt his ego, and i PURPOSELY commit it!!! Damn! We have to recognise this struggle and manage it.

Wah...i never imagined after such a long drought with no relationships, getting into one really takes effort on both sides. To go into Interdependence stage will take a while, but working towards it. I pray that he does it as well...

Bottle Tree Park and Paint balls!!

Checked out a new place last sat with Neil, Mitchell and Anthony!

Happened to pass by Khatib MRT after jamming session, and we saw something very beautiful!
A large pond! with large "swans" floating around!

The place is called "Bottle Tree Park"!!!
Check it out at www.bottletree.com.sg

It was a good discovery. Because although the place isn't satisfactory for our fishing desires (fishing arena too small,not shiok at all), we saw a new place!

The place is called "Redynasty"!!!
Check it out at www.weplaypaintball.com

That's the more interesting place! Will wanna organise groups to "fight it out" there!! ;)

PACKAGE A - The Shooting Gallery (30 paintballs per pax) - $10.00 per pax
PACKAGE B - JAMES BOND (50 paintballs per pax) - $25.90 per pax
PACKAGE C - THE GODFATHER (100 paintballs per pax) - $35.90 per pax
PACKAGE D - RAMBO (250 paintballs per pax) - $49.90 per pax

Hmm...for 2 hrs plus, i'll go for the package D of course!! Maximum fun!! ahahaAH~~*
Must organise trips to that place someday! ;)

I believe...

I believe...

There must be a reason for me to stay on in ESABEE for the weekly functions..
Not sure about it, but perhaps its the spiritual sense that is making me stay on..

I am not doing recruitment for sure, and i feel totally comfortable (which was not the case a few weeks back). I found a religion and exploring about it, and i find myself more at peace nowadays... And i can go functions feeling great! Strange, but..haha~ not sure why... but i believe that there's a good reason why i'm hanging around..

From situation i see, in Penang and Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, ESABEE is really doing great and function numbers are really growing each week to large numbers in hundreds! The whole of Penang and KL is starting to have a phenomenon on Eumora bars... more and more testimonials are flooding in... And i still enjoy my quiet trading supplies of Eumora overseas..

Hope the reason for my stay will reveal soon... :)

*~Fashion Paradise Pte Ltd~*

My dearest sister, Molly, has just started her mini small online shopping business!
Pls visit her site @ http://mollylee.blogs.friendster.com/fashion_clothings/

Why i like her shopping site:

1. My sis is very organised and responsible for her work (guarantee she wouldn't ran away, because she can't run away as well!) hahAAH~~*
2. My sis has good QC (Quality Control) for material of the clothes. But i think her fashion taste is weird. hahaH~~* so u all just see lah! Check out the nice photos.
3. My sis can deliver to me straight at home! ahahaAH~*
4. My sis has me to help her survey, check out which sites have good clothes, which sites clothes cannot buy, will con people's money...
5. My sis's choice of bags are all not bad. That's the only thing i think her taste is not too bad, can make it. aahaaAAa~*

That's what i can describe about my sister. hah~ bad elder sis i am. haha~~*

So if anyone seeks good online shopping, can check her site out. ;) A little advertise for her here.

Saudi Arabia and USA

Received enquiries from Saudi Arabia and USA, and we're into further discussions...

Feeling great today, because i'm sending sample Eumora bars overseas now, i predict that if all goes well, orders will start coming in within the next 2-3 months.

Learning about logistics and operation in my current company as well, just nice for the needs of my mini trading company. All about ex-works, FOB, freight charges and all those terms...its slowly, but steadily developing.

Looking forward to my Saudi Arabia contact more..as they seemed more sincere, and they have all the requirements i've wanted them to have. With dermatologist contacts, pharmacists, and they have their own sales and marketing group. Although company is not too big, we can start with small sales and big long term relationship. Not like some of the cocky USA firms i've met.

Looking forward to life ahead! Eumora rocks!! ;)

Down to Earth guy i've got.. =)

Recape on what i have blogged down in previous post Idealistic vs. Down to Earth,

I mentioned that i will want to be realistic and pray for this down to earth guy to come to me..
And this is what i've mentioned:
Now, what i want in a down-to-earth guy to...

1. Have passion for life. [Partial, he's responsible for whatever he's done, and he's got a dream that's similar to mine!!! ]
2. Be there to adore and care for me. Be there whenever i need him. Really love me for who i am. [Yes, at least for now. ahaaAHa~~*]
3. Friendly guy to know, so my close friends can generally accept.[Damn close lah,more people for him to know, but i don't think its necessary..i got too many friends leh..haha~]
4. Willing to change for the better. Not stubborn. Good EQ. [Willing to change for the better (depends) Stubborn (also yes) Good EQ (YES!)]
5. Be investment savvy. Knows how to manage finance. [That i am not sure, but he knows how to manage at least]
6. A determined guy. Once he sets to start something, he will not give up and pursues to the end. [I do perceive he is, yet to be shown]
7. Healthy guy without much bad habits.( I can tolerate drinking, but not smoking and clubbing.) [He failed this part, but he dislikes clubbing for sure.]
8. Loves to hear me talk, appreciates whatever i do for him. [He is one guy who really LISTENS to me, although he sometimes doesn't absorb it...haha~* but I LOVE him for that =) ]
9. Understands his priorities in life, values and beliefs. [Yup yup! He knows what he wants. Working towards it too!]
10. Have faith and hope for life. [Hmm.. he hoped for it, and i came into his life. That explains everything. ;)]

He's becoming the core of my life, and i am seeking a religion as well, in Roman Catholic faith. At the same time, trading continues for me in terms of overseas exports. Right now, life feels complete, except for the career fulfillment part. I will really want to go into music teaching again, by 2010. Life's good!

I pray for my guy to be able to quit smoking by his own will power, for his own health and for the sake of loved ones as well. I pray for fellow closed friends as well. I pray that God will guide them towards the path of a healthy wealthy life.

God bless...and I bless you too. =)

A New Life, a New page!

Feels like a new, refreshingly free life now!

A new blog page for a Fresh start!

I begin to cherish what i have lost a few years back... and will treasure them. =)

More updates when i have time! ;)

My significant other..

Hmm... feeling lost these 2 days.. haven't feel like this for years already..
He went Malacca on a business trip for 2 days... can't wait to have him back!

Having a significant other in my life, really makes my life more "shared". Like shared driver in computers. He shares part of my life. ahaAHa~~* what a description.

Really grateful to have him ard, especially when he came in, during this rock-bottom period of my life...
He became my light and source of hope and happiness. Although we had alot of misunderstandings, bad memories in the past, but all seemed faded and forgotten when we got back on talking terms after 8 years...

Things are all beautiful, lovely now... He really dotes me and i can really feel it this time... Better than any guys in my life. He's really more matured, responsible now than last time, and i felt glad for that. Nothing matters more than, we, working things out together for our future.

I am still quite at a lost, handling current new job, trading, debts, dreams of becoming a music instructor or musician myself... but with him around, i find strength to carry on living.. Having some plans in mind to accomplish before marriage. So! Now i have a time line and goal to meet before marrying off! =) At most 5 years that i'll give myself...

Hope we'll have a happily retirement plan, like, doing business. Perhaps a small niche cafe, or a small eatery store, having all our friends together till ripe old age...

Love my dearest.

The love of my life...

My sleeping prince... tired and burnout from work... time to reveal who he is!! (anyway, alot knows who he is already...hahaHa~~*)

Creations from the Mosaic function of my Samsung G600 5mega pixels phone...

Awakens from sleep and sees me clicking away! I was checking out the Mosaic functions..

Alright...he looks cool in this picture, but i look like a kid. haha~~

Me getting bored and he started weird poses for the shots! I love this one! So funny!

I bet some people are getting quite a shock here, esp Carine and some of the guys/gals in the old band group. haha~ Don't laugh ah...He was my first love, the one i loved most, the one i hated most, and i ended with him, AGAIN! Hmm...fate made our paths cross again, after 8 years.

Actually, i am not really able to recall ALL the bad things. Only certain parts, but most of them i forgot already. Maybe i'm doing what Arthur said. Don't live in the past. Live in the past, learn from the past. Everything is about a choice, and after making a choice to be with him again, i decide to make the best out of it.

Tough times lying ahead, especially within the next 2 years. I really hope we can work out everything together. =) Interdependency...i wonder how its really like...

Falling in love...after 3 years of singlehood...

hmm... recently met up with a guy...

Having a nostalgic feel now... Its not really a burning passionate "in-love" kind of feel... but a peaceful, calm, soothing sense...which i haven't experienced in a long time.. perhaps its because i knew him long ago already...

Most importantly, i think this time, its mutual. It is unlike those couple of guys i met this recent year.. none of the guys, no matter how handsome, how eloquent, how intelligent, how witty, all never gave me the "click" feel.

Recently met up with Tammie, and we had a good exchange of pointers, dealing with man. hAah~~ it was interesting. We, as woman, should really know our man inside-out and understand their needs, emotions, especially how to handle their ego. haAHaA~~ That's about being in-control of our emotions and not losing yourself in a relationship. I used to really plunge and fall badly....now, hell no man. I'm gonna play my game well this time. ;)

Women, should be confident of themselves at all times. In relationships, not only must we be independent, we must learn how to work out together with our other half, especially during bad times.. Interdependence. :) Hope he doesn't make any mistakes this time. Silly old boy... i will seriously kick him to Pacific Ocean if he dares to play me out again...

Therefore, I'll make the best out of this relationship once again, and even if it doesn't work out this time ard again, i'm not gonna cry over it and regret it... It's his lost if he doesn't want me. I'm good, ok?.. "I used to cry, but now i hold my head up high"... ;)

So, now, 24years old le!! Should really do something about my love life. haha~~* Looking to a brand new start with him. :D

Blast! Drumline Battery Battle

This is Blast! Drumline Battery Battle. One of the coolest Drumline shows i've seen on youtube. I got to see this while at Jeremy's place with Mitch and Anthony.

Learnt rolling on the sticks, taught by Mitch, so i checked out Drumline videos. This one Damn shiok lah! Enjoy! :)

Tommy Emmanuel - The Greatest Guitarist ever!!!

This is a video clip of Tommy Emmanuel, one of the Greatest guitarist ever! The song is, Somewhere over the Rainbow.

He's a personal favourite of Arthur Yap, and i actually "youtubed" him to find out how great he is. Arthur's a great musician as well, cos the songs he sang during the biz seminar TOTALLY blew me away!! DAMN GREAT vocals lah!!! He can compose music and lyrics!! He's actually very experienced with alot of musical instrutments (except the piano) haha~~

A little about Tommy Emmanuel: He's good, because he can play the bass, acomplement, melody and do tuning on a SINGLE guitar for an entire song! Its like, an entire song of different parts are played by a SINGLE person! That's why Arthur totally adores him...woohoo~