~Shining World of AnN~

28 Feb 2010!~*

2010-03-01T01:24:00.004+08:00

It's the end of Feb!

Happy Birthday Mingjian! No 29th Feb, but it's alright. ;)

Well, updates during feb... hmm...No much.

School

Just alot of band practises (Tues, Thurs, Fri and Sat), and i still get to see him around almost all band practise. I'm not longing to see Ant anymore, just a very plain feeling. I hope to see him every band practise, but if he's not there, i'm ok with it... Maybe i'm just so used to it already..Maybe when competition ends and i'm REALLy not gonna see him for 2 years, i'll start to miss him again...whatever...

Recently, during CNY period, the band had an alumni and exco steamboat dinner gathering, and shimin, the band instructor aka my long time band mate, suggested going to Anthony's place for the steamboat instead. I thought for 2 weeks whether i should go for it. In the end, guess what? I went! So strange and sereal going back to my favourite home to be in...after 1.5 years.

Anthony's mum still remembers me, and mentioned that she misses me. .She gave me quite a big ang bao that day too...i know she loves me to be her son's gf or even to be her future daughter-in-law, but....that's not gonna happen, at least not for now...

I'm beginning to appreciate working in school as well! REcently i had a gathering with LS, MJ, Cynthia, KL and Pin. As they kept talking about work, i realised how FORTUNATE that i'm not really working for anyone. I don't have nasty bosses. No daily reports (just alot of meetings), alot of "Me as the boss" kinda situation, especially during classes. I felt like the boss, and everyday, i'm doing what i like! To inspire students, to share and not just to teach. Everyday is a fruitful day, except that i get depressed whenever i think about my love life... oh man...where's that miracle i'm praying for..but...anyway...Christ, amen.

Church

Getting baptised soon! Just went through election, where the Rite of Election was held last sunday @ St Anthony's church. Over 400 catechumens and candidates from the central and east zone were elected on saturday, 20 feb @ Divine Mercy church, and over 800 from West, North and Serangoon zone were elected on sunday, 21 feb @ St Anthony's church! :) Mass held by our Grace, Archbishop Nicholas Chia.

Alot of activities coming up for the month of March...will be very drained, but i pray for God's strength to fill me up, so that i can continue to do thy work that He wishes me to do...

Feelings about getting baptised: abit scared, not sure what's gonna happen during this season of Lent until Easter. Have been feeling extremely tired over these past few weeks..not sure why, just very very tired when i get home. Mahjong seems so tiring nowadays too..i just wanna sleep under my self-made altar, switch on my bedside lamp, and try to pray and communicate with our Father.

I pray hard for the miracle that i've always wanted, and also....I pray for the Lord, our Father in Heaven, Jesus Christ and our Holy Spirit, to guide the band and lead us to achieve our first Gold Medal for West Spring...

God's will be done.

Amen.

31st Jan 2010~*

2010-01-31T23:18:00.002+08:00

It's been a fruitful 1st month of 2010!!

I think i might just start to write a monthly blog instead...because i really have no time to blog..i wanna spend more time with God..and my love ones..

What did i do for the past 1 month?
- Started teaching again! Lesser teaching workload, but more CCA load! Band Competition is up! And i've to be in school every saturday until 10 April! I volunteered actually, because i wanna be there for the band members and to oversee that everything needed is provided to ensure the best is provided by the school. In addition, Ant and I are coaching the color guards together (although we seldom interact, but i enjoy that silent moments sometimes..)

Every saturday after each band practise, we will all go out with some of the band members and alumni team for dinner and bonding session. The alumni were of great help. God bless. I pray for West Spring a Gold Medal for this year's Band Competition. ;)

Just went to a KTV session with the band alumni last night...its was great..God bless..
Ant sang a few songs with me. Although we were seated far apart, i still felt blissed. Almost everyday, prayers will be send for him... i wish everything well for him. And God please forgive him for he know not what he has been doing sometimes.... the iPhone app, PrayerJournal, is so great..i think i can literally send prayers up to heaven through it. hahaaH~* I hope i can download all my prayers and save it somewhere so it will be kept somewhere forever... All my prayers for him...

- With Mitch, Neil, Jessica and Kian's group: I started playing Left4Dead! That's a great game! So fun! It reminded me of the days when all of us, mitch neil ant kumar daniel jason and many more...we played CS almost everyday everywhere, at LAN shops, at daniels place..Those were the days.

Recently, we just went to a place at taman jurong for fishing. It costs $30, from 7pm-7am. We all caught nothing, because the fishes are so smart! (i think we are just not professional enough to get bigger catches..hahaaAHA~*) We even had a BBQ outside Jeremy's HDB flat!!! hahaAH~ It was a quick 2 hour session. It was quite fun. We even had a basketball session before the BBQ! Now we're thinking of having badminton sessions every weekend, because age is catching up. We really need some form of exercise to keep fit and stay healthy...

Speaking of exercise, i need to constantly remind myself to gym at Amore! I wasted so much money and never go!!!! Oh man!~!!!!!
Wanna get started on Belly dancing! ahahaHA~* and do some CardioLatino.. to burn some fats off my bum!

- Church: Getting baptised on 4 April! Now undergoing preparations...so tiring...
And iPhone apps with Bible and Liturgical readings are really helping me to keep me closer to God... been reading a children's version of bible stories. VEry interesting!

Been praying for a sign too...and God just directed me to read up "the Beatitudes".
Gonna go read now!

Ok! Till next month!

Love,
Annie Clare Lee ;)

31st Dec 2009!!~

2009-12-31T13:36:00.004+08:00

The first post for Dec'09, the Last post for Year 2009!

I've been so lazy to update, and there's suddenly so much to say!! hahaAh~*
I think its mainly because of the School Band trip to Kedah, Malaysia, which revitalised me ALOT! I feel so alive in Band, once again, and it didn't matter if it just WestSpring Band and not my Bukit Panjang Govt High/ Teck Whye combine band.. These bunch of West Spring kids are seriously awesome.. :)

What i've done for December 09 (All photos can be found on Facebook!)
-Went Malacca trip with Mitch, Neil, Kian and Jessica. Fishing on a speed boat was awesome!!! ;)
-Went Malacca, Kuala Lumpur, Ipoh, Penang with Cynthia and friends. Malacca and KL were awesome, but not so for Ipoh and Penang.. It was a back-breaking, tiring experience..
- Went Kuala Lumpur, Kedah.. It was an amazing time! spent with the kids, spend my time learning how to twirl flags (professional color guards training), and my coach is just 20 years old! The only Color Guards instructor throughout the whole of Malaysia!
- And i've finally got my long awaited iPhone!! It doesn't matter that the whole world is using it, what matters most is that it is SO AWESOME!!!!Anywhere and everywhere i go, i can go online! And loading time is SO FAST! woohoo! I love the PrayerJournal app most, because i can do my prayers so conveniently! SHIOK!!!

What i'll be focusing on Next year:
- Band!! It's where life is for me!
Although there is only little i can do, i hope whatever important knowledge i've taught the kids, will be able to impact them positively in life. There is so much satisfaction just by being with the band kids and nurturing them.

- Looking forward to NIE (in July). Hope there is vacancy for me! (IF not, i'll definitely write complain letter!)

- Looking forward to lots of holiday trips! Thailand with Cyn, Korea with Lili, Joyce and Qiqi, and finally, the ultimate Band trip to Australia (if we win GOLD medal!!!!) =D

- Getting baptised next year (4th April 2010), so i forsee that tough times will be ahead, especially during Lent season. I pray that the Lord our Heavenly Father will always look after me. No matter what happens, may i never lose my God. With the little faith i have, i pray that the Lord will strengthen me more.

- I pray to be reconciled with Anthony, that we may be able to work better together should he be back to help out with the band, and also that we may be able to communicate normally as friends again. I ask this, to Jesus Christ most precious name, Amen.

Within the next few hours before and after Countdown to 2010:
- Now, doing designing of posters for the ALpha group in my church.
- Doing recruitement drive marketing tools for West Spring Band.
- Will be at Singapore Polytechnic for the "Mafia Night" countdown to 2010.
- Will have a "Super Drunk" Party night at Mirama hotel until 2pm next day. (i'll be the chamber maid aka cleaner for the night. Don't feel like getting a hangover the next day)

So tata!! Looking postivitely for GReat TIMES ahead NEXT YEAR 2010!!! ;D

A fresh start!

2009-11-08T23:57:00.007+08:00

Wow...its been 1 month since the last posting...
Anyway, school term is over...so i was kinda, back into the depression mode..without Anthony around by my side. Actually, i guessed that i was almost too reliant on him. That's quite a pull-off, to always stick to him when i was still together with him....thinking back, i seriously think i behaved too much of a "sticky" wife to him. I bore him at times as well. Because we are BOTH boring people..So naturally, he and i can't handle it...haizZZz..

I'm still missing him, thinking about him, and sometimes, in my dreams i see him too.. (i feel like an emo psycho..) The things that we've done together, it felt so much like just a few days or weeks ago. Very vivid. STILL very clear in my mind..

Anyway, i have to move on. Thinking clearer now (yah....took quite a long time for me to think it through yah...but its not too late..) So, what i wanna be in 5-10 years time, i'll have to decide now! Just like what i've always been telling my students.. :)

Get real!

I wanted to get married by the age of 28...but now, it doesn't seem realistic at all. The whole idea of a happy marriage before 30 seems impossible now, and i do not look forward to it anymore as well. The whole new plan (a new door) is unveiling itself now, so i might just go for this new perspective...

I plan to give myself 8-1o years more of singlehood, before i plunge into marriage. That means, marriage by 33 - 35.

Maybe a boyfriend in 5 years time. That's the most possible timeline i can work out. I'm feeling so....uninterested in men now. The thought of entertaining a possibly new relationship seems so unappealing...I just want to be with God now.

For now, what i can do is to work on Career and Religious Life!!
Certain aspects of life i wanna fulfill are:
- Getting a driving license! Before 15 April 09 (i just passed BTT! Now getting my FTT done too..)
- Settle my debts..by this year end and early next year!
- Do some traveling before NIE training ends next year! (Thailand, parts of Malaysia, South Korea, Taiwan are all in the plans already..)
- I will really love to be able to play piano...contemplating of buying one in the near future.
- I wanna get a car by 3 years time. By 2012. A cheap second-hand car will do.
- I wanna change my wardrode!!! Planning $500 min. heeEHe~*
- I wanna definitely wanna get a flat on my own by age 35, if i'm still not married.

How about Career?
I intend to go into the leadership track, or the senior teaching track..
- CPA Head of Department by age 35.
i might just wanna get my ass into intensive CPA (Computer Applications) learning. With the fast evolving IT industry, i'm gonna start learning alot of animations, games making, video and movie creations, to keep up with the subjects learning pace. Alot of teachers in school just wanna teach, but don't wanna improve. So, CPA is the subject where i can improve myself and get up to HOD level. Maths is way TOO competitive.. ..
Alot of IT learning to do right now! Not stagnant at all in this field..can get entrepreneurial as well.. :)

Religious Life
Hmm..recently, it has been going dull. But i recognise it as normal. Because in a relationship, there are bound to be ups and downs. There are also times whereby i feel bored. Just like what i felt with Anthony as times as well. But the thing is, how do i revive the passion? Oh, that's effort. I have to stop being lazy and read up on the Word of God....my Bible! and also, get back into the activities of the church. I have been too busy with school work for the last 3-4months, that i neglected my spiritual life..

Nonetheless, God really took great care of me. There are many times when i grumble why must my life end up like this, and He will do something...so MAGICAL that i find it so amazing...things that happen to me.. that makes me realise that Love Changes everything. Hope does not fail...
And i will continously pray that, for the next few years that i've given myself, that miracle will happen.

Ah...!!~~Right now, i wanna stop caging myself up, get into some real serious work with career planning, and enjoy life having weekend mahjong sessions, ktv sessions, church sessions, shopping for Christmas and holidaying!!

In the name of Jesus Christ,
i pray for All my loved ones be blessed with your love and your joy, especially take care of my love Anthony as well. Now that he's having a car now, i pray for his safety on the roads and wherever he travels to.
Amen

Amused by his driving.. :)

2009-10-11T21:12:00.008+08:00

Yesterday was an eventful day..
-Taught extra classes @ Subway, Lot 1 with some students...since 10am to 1.30pm onwards..
- Bible studies @ St Anthony Church from 2.30pm to 5pm..
- Rosary Prayer @ Carol's place, with the Catechumens, Facilitators and Godparents of RCIA....7.30pm to 9.30pm
- Mahjong session @ Jessica's place with Jessica, Kian, Jeremy, Joy and Mitch and Ant.. :) from 10.30pm all the way to 2am..

As we packed up to go home, we walked downstairs to the carpark. It was when Mitch and Ant paused in front of a black car, that i realised we were going to hitch a ride from Ant! His car is black, one of the most "lok-kok" car i've ever sat in (abit like Malaysia car which has been used more than 10 years..), and his driving skills really amuses me.. hahaaH~* The way he drives...first time driver..kinda failing badly....aahahaAH~~

Nonetheless, it felt nice.. that's he is moving fine along with life.. the car, of course, feels like he's going to use it for 2-3 years only.. He's smart. He knows what he is doing (with regards to his career). The whole car is company-paid for. FRee petrol, free carpark coupons, FREE CAR!! A temp car just for transport since he's in sales and marketing now, so he can save up abit to buy a better one when he moves up the ranks in corporate world..

Looking forward to the fishing trip in the coming weekends! 17 Oct!! Paula Ubin! Gonna go for an early trip and end at night.. :) Gonna purchase my own fishing hooks, weights... must buy my very own foldable chair as well! Awesome...can't wait for weekends to come asap!! =)

命中注定我爱你。。。

2009-10-04T03:52:00.006+08:00

The TV serial 命中注定我爱你 just finished its showing on tv recently..and this miracle happened to me.. =) Although its a short meeting, but its truely amazing Grace from God who arranged this special day...

A week ago, Jessica (the birthday girl from the previous blog post), private messaged me on Facebook to go clubbing @ Rebel, Clark Quay. Normally, i will reject it, because i HATED clubbing...its an activity that's loud, noisy, drinks that i don't normally go for... but somehow, i agreed! And i was spontaneous and excited about trying it out! I was amazed by my own excitement about it..and have actually looked forward to going for it...! It was a strange and happy feeling...~

So, my day on Friday (2 Oct '09) was rather full. It was a school day, students having exams. I went Chinatown with a fellow colleague for a meal, walked to Clark Quay for ice cream..tired when i reach home, had to go church for a monthly gathering....BEFORE i go clubbing @ night! I should be totally exhausted (which i am), but i still decide to Want to go for it!

Before i left church, i had a quick chat with the ladies there. I was dressed quite pretty, and they thought i had a date with a guy (yes i wished...), but i revealed to them that its Girl's night out...and told them i'm still thinking about my ex-boyfriend Anthony.... They prayed over for me..and of course, i pray that he will come back to Christ..and journey together with me.. =)

So i went over Jessica's place and we left together to go Clark Quay. Met Lisa there, din managed to get into 'Rebel', and went into 'Arena' (which is another club with live band).

The moment i stepped inside, the first person i saw.....ANTHONY!!! He's the last person i expect to see! Because he doesn't like clubbing at all!! He likes pubs, but he doesn't like all the dancings! And he's with his poly classmates (all don't look happening at all lah...)

Its definitely a sign from God...

What are the odds of him appearing in places we both are not likely to appear?? I was smiling non-stop, and he seemed quite happy to see me also..and although he left early because he's tired..nonetheless i felt extremely joyful that night... until i got tipsy and went home early also..ahhaaH~

All these, makes me recall how we got back in touch.. It was the Standard Chartered Marathon 2007. I was running towards the finishing line for my first race..the 10km race...and i saw you, waving at me. It was the first meet after a very long while...a long while since my last series of hatred for you which lasted for several years... but miraclously, i couldn't feel the hate anymore.. and we talked to each other since then... Thinking back, THAT was a miracle as well... =)

Until now, i still do not know why we broke up... and i believed its his inability to commit to a true relationship. Prehaps he still want to find whether there are any better "roses" out there, before turning back to retrieve the "already quite good" rose behind him....

Hope he's not too late to turn back.. and see clearly with his heart...

命中注定我爱你。。。actually, deep in my heart, i've already regarded him as my dear husband... how am i able to ever forget him...

"Heavenly Father, hereby i asked of you, to guide Anthony back to Christ.
If it is your Holy will, please guide him back to me...
I ask this, in Jesus Christ most precious name.
Amen"

Great weekend! Hope this battery recharging lasts longer..

2009-09-21T01:12:00.010+08:00

It was definitely a GREAT WEEKEND!!

Firstly, we had Jessica's birthday celebration @ Pasir Ris Park. We had BBQ and there were lots of good food and drinks! The "De-Silver's" style of cooking is definitely one of the best i've ever tasted! We have self-made cheese hotdogs (i made it with Aunt Cynthia), Baked cheese mussels on the grill (that's shiok!), BBQ prawns, Otah, Beef, chicken, baked corns and potatoes! Most importantly, there was Great company! Awesome! =D

And of course, Ant was there... somehow, just 3 days before this BBQ session, i had this "gut feel" that he was going to wear a red shirt. On the actual day, this feeling was even stronger. Was it because we still connect with each other? telepathy like we used to? Or its a sign from GOD? (Yes i made a proposal with God...Very thank you for your sign..) Anyway, i was indeed very happy that night.. =)

Somehow, my heart plunged to rock bottom for a few moments that night. I saw him carrying a pink tote bag. Definitely not his choice of bags to have. I was thinking, "Is it his new gf's bag?" I waited to see if the gal will appear.. i was devastated for that few secs until Mitch asked Jessica to go over to their side..." Come birthday gal! This is the gift we (Mitch, Neil and Ant) bought for you!" And so, i recovered. This incident brought me back to reality. What if i have to face this situation one day? I hope not so soon... I pray that i will never face this again...

Poster on BBQ Pit 20 lamp post!

Jeremy (Jessica's brother) is the official Chef cum Otah Man for the day!Well, guess what Neil (Our gentle giant) is doing?

He's so sweet! Pitching up a tentage for our Birthday girl!

These are shredded cheese, done by Otah man's wife, Joy!

The otahs...very nice!And there, we have our little tentage to house all of us...so sweet~ :D

Jessica and I! Gave a L'occitane cheery hand lotion as a birthday gift. ;)

I think should be quite nice, since the ingredients are mostly of natural origins.The ice cream cake is so beautiful! From Swensens! And the price is also very "beautiful"!*~Our birthday girl..~* :)

Ok..now's cake cutting time....but 5 mins have went by... Melissa's using the chilli sauce bottle as a makeshift hammer..

Now's Mitch's turn...10mins gone by... Anthony's just sitting there and watching the show all along!~~* ;P

Finally the rock solid cake started to melt..and gentle giant comes to help!

ahaAHAh~ !Let the birthday girl take the first bite.. fed by her Mum, Aunt Lorain! :)

Finally, when we're packing off...we were thinking..."who can help to remove the coil from the lamppost?" So the guys (Neil on the left, Mitch on the right, Ant on the top) get on with their fabulous team work...awesome!!

Its only 11.55pm, and we wished Jessica Happy Birthday at midnight! As we age, the BBQs, the drinking sessions gets shorter....can't tahan so long...

But of course, its REALLY very early, so we went Jessica's place to have mahjong, more food (we dialled for McDonalds) and had a few rounds of Mahjong before we went home ! :)

The Next day, which is Sunday, i went to send off my brother, Henry off to the airport. He's still immature...hope he'll learn his lesson in UK. Will sponsor his home-return tickets when he's having his termbreak..

And in the evening, i went for Mass @ St Anthony's church, saw Mitch and his brother-in-law, and we went for dinner with Neil and catch the show, Inglorious Basterds! Its a DAMN LEngthY show! Almost 3 hours long! Full of dialogues, but surprisingly, its ALL very interesting long story. The plot is real awesome as well! The director is real good. ;)

Hope this round of battery recharging lasts longer...for at least 3 weeks until end of exams!

Hope to see Ant soon again. =)

Amen.

Dull life...without him..

2009-09-18T20:24:00.004+08:00

没有Anthony 的第375天。。。A year already.. i'm still lost.. without him...

Whenever i reach home, tired from work...fulfilling vocation in teaching, that still...never occupied my heart emptied by you... No one can fill me up like you did...

Are all circumstances against us now?... Can we ever be together again?
"第一次是偶然，第二次是必然，第三次是命中注定"...

Where is this so-called "Heaven" on earth?
As days for my pending Baptism comes nearer, journey on earth seems harder and harder...
Evil found its way to my weakness....its a tough battle...

"Jesus, you always welcomed little children when you walked on this earth. Teach me to have a childlike trust in you. To live in the knowledge that you will never abandon me."

Amen

What on Earth am i here for?

2009-09-11T23:42:00.002+08:00

Been reading this book recently...It's small, compact..about A6 size.
Lately, i've been feeling that since i've found the right job, to teach students..education...so what's in it for me? What next? I can't see where's the end..

Its a good read! Focuses your mind, your direction, how to live life..and its only SG$2! Found it in Novena Church bookshop... =) Strongly recommend it to those who believes the existence of God..

Amen. =)

How long i wanna stay in Teaching?

2009-09-10T17:17:00.001+08:00

After starting teaching since 28 June '09, its only 2.5 months gone!! woo!! I thought its been half a year!! hmm, time passes very very fast...and the kids are having their exams soon! Why did i think i spent a lifetime in sec sch?? 4 years seemed so long! So much memories... =)

I spoke to a fellow adjunct teacher a few days ago, and she told me how MOE retains teacher, through the CONNECT PLAN. It is separate from the annual bonuses that we usually get. I heard alot of figures, but it didn't get into my head..
So, i went online and started scanning through the benefits and renumeration of being a teacher under MOE...

AND So, i'm starting to countdown! I wanna stop teaching by 50 years old, which is 25 years from now..

CONNECT Plan Payouts
Year 1 - No payout -
Year 4 - $15,200
Year 7 - $24,000
Year 10 - $25,900
Year 15 - $36,100
Year 20 - $28,500
Year 25 - $18,500
Year 30 - $20,600

If i'm sick of teaching and wanna enjoy life, i will stop at Year 15, when the Connect Plan payout is highest at $36,100. By then, i'll be 40 years old only...and i'll convert to adjunct teaching. Easier life (with 1/2 load, 3/4 load or full teaching load to choose from), so i can enjoy both teaching and having a good life also...

Or maybe i'll convert at Year 10? If i'm fortunate enough to get married and have kids, at age 35!! ahaHah~* So,...yes..i decided to get married late...Anyway, no significant one yet also, so no hurry..I think i can spend the one-time payout in a One month Europe trip. hahaaHA~~*

HAizzZZz...

Amen.

Melissa housewarming and Aunt Cynthia's Birthday!~*

2009-08-31T00:49:00.009+08:00

28th August 2009! Had great fun @ Lisa's place for housewarming.. ;) Arrived @ her place at 6.30pm, most of the people are not there yet..so chat with Jessica and her guy Kian..It was also Mitchell and Lisa's mum's (Aunt Cynthia) birthday party! haha~~ I really miss these gatherings..especially when they are my long long time friends... :)

We watched Michael Jackson's concert on channel 5 at 7pm...waiting for Aunt Cynthia to arrive...*hehe* Its a surprise party! I really love them all! BECAUSE they are always having surprises during events! Whether its CNY, Christmas, anyone's birthday, they are FULL OF SURPRISES!! The whole family is like this!! And their family are really affectionate people. =)

Melissa's housewarming! So She invited a Priest from St Mary of the Angels to do house blessing ...This is the Bible and Holy water used! First time i see house blessing.. =)

And Aunt Cynthia got her GIGANTIC cake for her birthday!! =)

Having wine after dinner! It was like a wine tasting session! So many wines to drink!! =)

The food was FANTASTIC as well!! I really love euasian food!!! The way they cook the beef, the mutton, the potatoes...wahHHhh...*drooling* i love their shepherd's pie the most... =)

I can't wait for the next gathering with them...its a motivating factor, always something to look forward to, to live on PASSIONATELY in life...hahaAH~~*

Neil playing with Sandy, the chiwawah jack russel mix breed.. He's pretending to bite her..ahaaAH~~*

Its 2 am... Lisa, Jessica, Joy..

Joy, (Top side) Jeremy, Kian

(Bottom) Jeffrey, Tessa-jeffrey's new gf

(Top) Anthony -yes, its him..
(Bottom) Mitchell -he's my RCIA facilitator in St Anthony's church too!!

I taught them how to play "Mafia"...Its like the game, Murder, but it has a narrator, murderers, a spy and a healer..they find it quite interesting! But tiring towards the end....and we played from 10pm to 2am in the morn! haaHAa~* Tiring..but God bless...they enjoyed it. ;) It was great fun! Especially when the guys are the ones who knows how to TALK alot..and its really enjoyable to see them having so much fun and laughter. =D

Recently, one of my churchmates, Kumar, went for a fishing competition in Malaysia...and he got 4th position!! I really miss the kelong times...yah...especially with him... Hope to go to Kelong with them again..

For now..i'm thinking of Go-kart trip in Malaysia!! And the tasty Bak Kut Teh i wanna share with them too!! Holidays coming after exams!! I'm so looking forward to meeting them again! Hope it comes soon... =D

Teachers need motivation too!

2009-08-23T13:27:00.000+08:00

Watching "The Triumph" by Matthew Perry (One of the cast, Chandler of "FRIENDS")!

Gonna compile a list of great motivational movies for teachers! ;)

Happy Weekend!! =D

Weekends!!! =D

2009-08-12T23:34:00.002+08:00

Looking forward to this weekend especially!!!

Just got my pay earlier than expected! First pay! and its more than what i have expected!
What i expected was just my gross pay! I didn't expect the allowance!! Quite generous of MOE.. hehe~ :)

Looking forward to the BBQ for JJAM group, my sec school gang... been missing them.. so, i'm gonna get draught beer and drink to my hearts content! *hehe* Just discovered beer can taste better than red wine, sometimes.. :P

And looking forward to WeiLin's wedding... Sorry dear, i can't be your bride's maid that day, because I CANNOT skip school lessons! Exams are coming.... so sad... but i can be there by mid day. =D

What else? Exams!! This is 7th week, next week is Common test... 3 more weeks to Sept holidays, and then 4 more weeks to exams! hehe..than mid Oct will be FREEDOM FOR ME!!! woohoo!! =D

And i wanna spend more time doing my prayers for my loved ones as well...maybe can start registering for driving lessons as well.. =) Planning to get a car within 3 years time... when my finances are good.. hehe~

I pray for more gatherings...especially with JJAM group...really miss them..especially my love...

OH well...God's will be done.

Amen.

Living faith? Living hell...

2009-08-10T19:35:00.006+08:00

Sometimes, if not, most of the time nowadays...i think i'm living in hell...

Before getting to know about God, i was thinking that anyone who wants to die must be insane..mental.. out of their mind..

But now, after knowing that there's Life after Death, there's a Heaven waiting for us... there seems to be a good place to be.. especially when Life on Earth can be so tough...

Hm...i was thinking of writing an Eulogy, so that when i die, people will not be too sad...my parents wouldn't feel too bad if i leave them early because i wanted to go to somewhere better.

Living out the faith journey is so tough sometimes... as i pray for Anthony, the same old guy, it felt like running a never-ending marathon... when's it going to end? What's going to be the outcome? I pray for the best outcome from God...

I prayed a whole night yesterday, and prayed for God's revelation about the outcome..i had numerous dreams that, when i woke up, i couldn't remember any of it.. i guess...God's plan is still pending....further notice to be given... Yah, it should be as well, since God's handling someone whose been confused, one who has a STRONG and NEGATIVE mind, and messed up with his life all these years...

St Monica prayed for 30 years for her prodigal son, St Augustine to repent from his foolish way of life... Am i to do that as well? I pray not to... i'm not as strong as her... maximum 3 years, i think i'll be withered and expired already...

I pray that when i die, i will just die in his arms...that'll be a good farewell before i leave him to see the Father... and pray for his salvation when i'm in

heaven...be his guardian angel...

Its been a long time since the last said...

"Anthony, I Love You."

God's will be done.

Amen.

Let go and Let God

2009-08-08T01:37:00.003+08:00

Just a year ago, 8th August '08, i was happily enjoying myself with my love...with a few close friends, at Mersing Kelong....Kelong Achech...i still remember..

I miss the good old times with him...
Let go and Let God... Lord pls take over..
If my prayer to you is working,
If i'm being faithful according to your will and not just being plain sturborn,
If my interpretations of your will is correct,
Lord...pls bring him back....

I ask this, In Jesus Christ most precious name,
Amen.

What am i looking for? Do i trust God can provide me?

2009-07-26T23:43:00.003+08:00

Its Sunday! So naturally, its church day! Sabbath day! Our Lord's day! A day where we put aside all work, and rest... =) so sad cynthia has to work every sunday... May she pass this period of agony and pray that good times comes for her... =)

So today's gospel is on...

Scripture: John 6:1-15
After this Jesus went to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, which is the Sea of Tiber'i-as. And a multitude followed him, because they saw the signs which he did on those who were diseased. Jesus went up on the mountain, and there sat down with his disciples. Now the Passover, the feast of the Jews, was at hand. Lifting up his eyes, then, and seeing that a multitude was coming to him, Jesus said to Philip, "How are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?" This he said to test him, for he himself knew what he would do. Philip answered him, "Two hundred denarii would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little." One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, said to him, "There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two fish; but what are they among so many?" Jesus said, "Make the people sit down." Now there was much grass in the place; so the men sat down, in number about five thousand. Jesus then took the loaves, and when he had given thanks, he distributed them to those who were seated; so also the fish, as much as they wanted. And when they had eaten their fill, he told his disciples, "Gather up the fragments left over, that nothing may be lost." So they gathered them up and filled twelve baskets with fragments from the five barley loaves, left by those who had eaten. When the people saw the sign which he had done, they said, "This is indeed the prophet who is to come into the world!" Perceiving then that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, Jesus withdrew again to the mountain by himself.

Meditation:
Sometimes people de-supernaturalize John 6:1-15 with explanations such as: "The real miracle is that Jesus got the people to share the food they had brought with them", and even this: "There wasn't enough food for everyone to have their fill, but what they had was offered to everyone, and the people were just so appreciative and willing to make sacrifices that they ate very little and thus there was food left over."

The multiplication of the loaves and fish into a meal that not only satisfied everyone but was more than what they needed is an important foreshadowing of the Eucharistic banquet that we celebrate today. If we pay attention to what's going on in Eucharistic and if we take it to heart, Jesus satisfies our hungers and gives us more than we need. What did you need from him before you arrived at church? He's trying to give it to you in abundance! Receiving all that he wants to miraculously give us requires that we trust him to provide for us. We have to expect the unexpected. We have to wait on his perfect timing. But rest assured that he wants to give us more than we need.

Maybe some of the folks on that ancient hillside wanted steak instead of fish, but what they received was a Messiah who filled their hearts with more than enough faith to grow spiritually, more than enough hope to become stronger in their trials, and more than enough love to share as they went forth to reveal Christ to others. In our Liturgies of the Eucharist, there's a lot more abundance to receive from Jesus than just a little piece of bread and a sip of wine. What do you really need from Jesus? More faith? More hope? More love? It's a good idea to think about this on the way to Eucharistic so that you can participate in Eucharistic more expectantly.

Reflections:
1. The people went to Jesus because there was something missing in their lives. They were searching. Sometimes we are searching ourselves but we cannot find what we are looking for unless, we know what we are looking for. Do you know what you are searching in life?

2. The man who found a treasure in the field, sold everything he had and bought that field. What have you forsaken to find what you have been looking for in life?

3. The multiplication of fish and loaves reveal the power and depth of care Jesus has for his people. Have you allowed yourself to experience this in your life? Have you been able to give up control over your life to accept His providential care for you?

4. Do you really trust the Lord to look after you?

Hmm...this is so long................
But throughout the whole sermon and after the whole bible session, i was thinking..."What am i looking for? Do i trust God to look after me and provide me with what i need?"

The days in my current teaching career is fulfilling....but i just can't help it, but feel.......empty. Everything has been great for me, smooth sailing now, with the Lord in my heart, always with me...but i longed for my love... my ex has always been on my mind.. always, day and night, and its been such a sensitive topic that i never really wanna touch on it, except with my closest friends around who understands how i feel and why i still persist on feeling it this way...

Yes, i've been praying for his wellbeing, his overcoming of himself and coming back to receive God's love...and also prayed that if he's the One, hope that the Lord will guide him back to me.. AFter so much obstacles in relationships with different people, i get to differentiate what really meant to me, and still, being the silly sturborn girl, i believe deeply that he's the One..

After thursday session with Father Terence on Death and Resurrection, i really am believeing that JEsus will provide for me.. He wants the best for me... so if i'm not sure whether the Lord meant "he" for me, i will pray for the Lord to give me 7 signs...signs that only the Lord and I will know, which will determine whether "he" is the One.. when it works, i'll let the whole world know!

Jesus, I Trust in You. Please pray over my friends, my families, my wellbeing and especially my love..guide him back to Christ and envelope him with so much Love that he will never want to turn away from you again, ever. I ask this, in Jesus Christ most sacred name,
Amen.

Death to our old ways..Resurrect to a new life..

2009-07-26T01:44:00.011+08:00

Haven't been updating my blogsite for a long while...been very occupied with sch work, and church stuffs... and especially when alot of things had happened in RCIA recently, its the amazing grace of God who had seen us through and grant us blessings...

Alot of people in St Anthony's church have prayed over for us Catechumens in RCIA Chronicles. Wanna thank them so much...people like Uncle Andrew (My big teddy bear uncle!) and Aunt Daisy, Rofina (My future Catechist mentor!! *hehe* wanna teach young children like her), and my coming-to-be Godparents (Dear Aunt Carol and Uncle Jeffrey)....Our group underwent a crisis, and we managed to pull through after 1 week of prayer!!! Praise the Lord!

Ever since i started RCIA, I was so sure that i will go through the whole process until i get baptised, until a few weeks ago, certain events started to plague the whole group...we underwent a dark period..and gradually, i began to realise that evil really exist and its trying to break us Catechumens who desires to be baptised in Jesus' name, next year during Easter. It was a chaotic period which lasted for 3 weeks, before we pulled through...a period of Death and Resurrection. We came back together as a whole group, and even had full attendance on thursday for our RCIA session (usually "The Sarah Kumar" will be missing..haha)! Thank you God for blessing us... Thank you Lord for granting the many miracles i've witnessed and hear about all these while...

Father Terence gave a wonderful teaching about the topic on Death and Resurrection...

The part that captivated me was the teaching that...God is omnipotent...God knows everything..

God knows our lives...God has plans for each of us..God is present in our past, present and future...What do i mean by that?

E.g. A woman lives a life of sadness, gets married in her 30s, gets divorced, lands herself into a huge financial debt... So since God knows everything, and He is in our past, present and future, Did God planned for it?

The answer is....NO. God is merciful and kind, He did not give us this kind of plan. It is ourselves who willed our own plans.. We, man, willed our sad story. God is almighty, and he loves us so much, that he gave us FREEDOM to live our lives. HE, indeed does have a plan for every single one of us, and if we CHOOSE to listen intently about what he wants to say to us, we will be able to lead a happy life....in God's grace.. =)

Why did bad things happen to us? Why did God not do anything to help us?
Bad things, events happens, when we go according to our OWN will... being sturborn..being arrogant, unforgiving, unable to let go of anger, hatred, sins, and we suffer...

God's knowing, does not determine what we do.

God's will is for us to be with Him. If we choose not to be, then we may end up suffering...Suffering is planned by us, not God. All consequences is due upon us when we chose to be egostic and do our will...and we cant blame God for our free will.

Human lives moment by moment, i.e, 8pm..9pm, 10pm, today, tomorrow.. BUT God is present at all these times.. He knows what is going to happen with every decision we make. He transcends time and space. God loves us so much, that he sets us free to do whatever we want to do..And when we do bad things, he actually knows what will happen in our future... God can only help us when we CHOOSE to listen to him... and He will guide us out of our DEATHS....

What exactly is Death, in this context?
Unforgiveness is death, anger is death, hatred is death, arrogance is death, pride is death, being sorrowful is death. Are we stuck in our sad pathetic ways? If we are, we are dead!

We must be open to Life. Every area of life must be open to new inspiration, new choices, new doors, so that we are open to Life...so that we can resurrect from the death.

Do we want to choose to continue to keep hitting, banging walls by our own will, or be open to changes, and will ourselves to the good plans of God?

When did Jesus begin to save us?
This was the question that one of us Catechumen asked Father Terence.

He said, "The moment when Jesus saved us, was when he came down from heaven, to earth and was born as a man." Man is raised to the level with God. Man, of course is not God, but God is with us now. What i'll like to think is, The Love story of God truly began when Jesus descended unto Earth...

How deep is your experience with God's Love?.. What i can really say is, the moment when you begin to understand his love, that's Salvation. This happens when we are prepared to move out of death.

To experience Love, you must experience You.
Admit to yourself, face yourself, come to terms with who you are.

Face death, know what it is, and come to resurrection.

There will be no resurrection until there is acknowledgment. Until we acknowledge ourselves who we are, we are unable to love ourselves and experience the Love of God.

Without Death, the Resurrection doesn't happen.

If there was no resurrection of Jesus, there wouldn't be Christianity. Jesus was risen by Himself and by no one else. His resurrection, all that was said by him, is verified. New life is offered.

Now, i truly understood why us Catechumens in RCIA have to go through a 22 months process before getting baptised. Father wants us to go through a series of conversion, going through the many deaths and resurrection...death to our old ways and be reborn to a new life... I begin to witness the changes in our people..and this is amazing...

We, as Catholics, do not believe in fate. If there is fate and predestination, there is NO FREEDOM, NO LOVE. Only with Freedom, there is Love. Now i understood more about the saying, "If you love someone, set him free. If he is yours to be with, he will come back to you.." This is God's love for us.. He waits for us to come back to him.

Many people have been asking me, "Why did i chose to become a Catholic?" I've never given a thought about it...but now, i only have an answer..

"Because i realised that God really loves me. Jesus loves us all.."

My sponsored child - Jae Mae..~*

2009-07-19T01:23:00.003+08:00

My first letter from my sponsored child - Jae Mae!!!

She's from Philippines, and i sponsored her through an organisation called World Vision.I've got so much to talk about her, but first and foremost, must write back to her!! :)

A Proper start to my Teaching career!!

2009-07-06T11:10:00.007+08:00

Finally!! I've started on my teaching career!
Nearly "bwang" last week, which is my first week of teaching. First lesson into the class, i panicked...and my teaching sequence all wrong! what an ass... what's more? I'm teaching Normal Academic Sec 1, and they are using EXPRESS maths textbook!!

Why? It was said that, whoever can score 75% and above for sec 1 NA class, they can opt to go to sec 2 express next year...wow...the burden's on me to get them UP! whoever wants to go express stream....

Have learnt alot from my school mentor, also my Maths HOD, Mr. Chong..he's a GREAT teacher mentor. Every teacher adviced me to be tough on them on the very first lesson, to show them who is the BOSS in charge...so second day when i went in, i gave them all a list of "CLASS ROOM MANAGMENT" list.. telling them who i am, what i expect of the class, and also, my temper to those who dares to step on my toes, etc. It proved quite effective! So i can tone up or down anytime i want already, because i told them i'm the Military person..teacher in charge for Military band...used to teach the woodwinds in school in yr 2007 as well...ahaaAAH~*

If anyone don't finish my work and hand in on time, if the number crosses 5 person in a single work, MORE homework for ALL!! That's "One for All, ALL for One.." hahaAHa~~*

HAve to be REALLY discipline to do coursework over the term, because nobody's gonna regularly check my work! Its literally having NO BOSS and alot of disciples (students) under you!!! Only alot of meetings sometimes, i heard. So, i'm gonna be real disciplined now, after slacking for quite a long time...

Been watching this show, "Supernatural" online..Its a real AWESOME SHOW!!!!

Staring Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester (the elder brother) and Jared Padalecki as Sam Winchester (the younger brother). I love Dean more, the bad boy, gutsy dude!! but i think i really like Sam's height, and especially his intellect too! hahaAH~*

The whole story is about the supernatural forces, demons and ghosts are the main ones who appears in season 1 to 3, but in season 4, FINALLY the Angels are coming out!!! Woohoo! All the while i was wondering when's God, Angels coming...stylo show~
Gonna finish off season 4 soon before i start getting late nights again!

My Saint Name from..St Clare of Assisi

2009-06-19T19:44:00.003+08:00

Every Catholic going to be baptised after going through RCIA is supposed to have a middle name, preferrably from a Saint.

So after checking it out, i decided to use "Clare" instead..wanted to find any Saints with the name Clara, but nil..nonetheless, i find St Clare of Assisi really good..

We have to research about the Saint's life, therefore here's her story.. :)

Saint Clare of Assisi, born Chiara Offreduccio (July 16, 1194 – August 11, 1253) is an Italian saint and one of the first followers of Saint Francis of Assisi. She founded the Order of Poor Ladies, a monastic religious order for women in the Franciscan tradition. Following her death, the order she founded was renamed in her honor as the Order of Saint Clare, commonly referred to today as the Poor Clares.

St. Clare of Assisi was a beautiful Italian noblewoman, born in Assisi, Umbria, as the eldest daughter of Favorino Scifi, Count of Sasso-Rosso and his wife Ortolana. Ortolana was a very devout woman who had undertaken pilgrimages to Rome, Santiago de Compostela and the Holy Land. Later on in her life, Ortolana entered Clare's monastery. Although many commentators state that Clare heard St. Francis preaching in the streets of Assisi about his new mendicant order (then newly approved by Pope Innocent III) and was moved by his words, there is no explicit evidence for this in the sources.

On March 20, 1212, Clare's parents had decided she would marry a wealthy young man. In desperation Clare escaped her home and sought refuge with St. Francis, who received her into religious life.

Clare lived for a very brief period in a nearby Benedictine monastery of nuns, San Paolo delle Abadesse, and then again for a short period at a house of female penitents, Sant'Angelo in Panza on Monte Subasio. Her sister Agnes of Assisi also left her parents and followed Clare to Sant'Angelo.

Clare and Agnes soon moved to the church of San Damiano, which Francis himself had rebuilt. Other women joined them there, and San Damiano became known for its radically austere lifestyle. The women were at first known as the "Poor Ladies".

San Damiano became the focal point for Clare's new religious order, which was known in her lifetime as the "Order of San Damiano." San Damiano was long thought to be the first house of this order, however, recent scholarship strongly suggests that San Damiano actually joined an existing network of women's religious houses organized by Hugolino (who later became Pope Gregory IX). Hugolino wanted San Damiano as part of the order he founded because of the prestige of Clare's monastery. San Damiano emerged as the most important house in the order, and Clare became its undisputed leader. By 1263, just ten years after Clare's death, the order became known as the Order of Saint Clare.

Saint Clare miraculously intervenes to save a child from a wolf, in this panel by Giovanni di Paolo, 1455.Unlike the Franciscan friars, whose members moved around the country to preach, Saint Clare's sisters lived in enclosure, since an itinerant life was hardly conceivable at the time for women. Their life consisted of manual labour and prayer.

For a time the order was directed by Francis himself. Then in 1216, Clare accepted the role of abbess of San Damiano. As abbess, Clare had more authority to lead the order than when she was the prioress, who had to follow the orders of a priest heading the community. Clare defended her order from the attempts of prelates to impose a rule on them that more closely resembled the Rule of St Benedict than Francis' stricter vows. Clare sought to imitate Francis' virtues and way of life so much so that she was sometimes titled alter Franciscus, another Francis. She also played a significant role in encouraging and aiding Francis, whom she saw as a spiritual father figure, and she took care of him during his illnesses at the end of his life, until his death in 1226.

After Francis's death, Clare continued to promote the growth of her order, writing letters to abbesses in other parts of Europe and thwarting every attempt by each successive pope to impose a Rule on her order which watered down the radical commitment to corporate poverty she had originally embraced. She did this despite the fact that she had endured a long period of poor health until her death.

On August 9, 1253, the Papal bull Solet annure of Pope Innocent IV confirmed that Clare's Rule would serve as the governing rule for Clare's Order of Poor Ladies. Two days later, on August 11, Clare died at the age of 59. Her remains were interred at the chapel of San Giorgio while construction of a church to hold her remains was being constructed.

Basilica of Saint Clare, Assisi.

On August 15, 1255, Pope Alexander IV canonized Clare as Saint Clare of Assisi. Construction of the Basilica of Saint Clare was completed in 1260, and on October 3 of that year Clare's remains were transferred to the newly completed basilica where they were buried beneath the high altar. In further recognition of the saint, Pope Urban IV officially changed the name of the Order of Poor Ladies to the Order of Saint Clare in 1263.

Some 600 years later in 1872, Saint Clare's remains were transferred to a newly constructed shrine in the crypt of the Basilica of Saint Clare where they can still be seen today.

Pope Pius XII designated her as the patron saint of television in 1958, on the basis that when she was too ill to attend Mass, she had reportedly been able to see and hear it on the wall of her room. The Eternal Word Television Network (EWTN) was founded by a Poor Clare nun, Mother Angelica.

In art, Clare is often shown carrying a monstrance or pyx, in commemoration of the time when she warded away the soldiers of Fredrick II at the gates of her convent by displaying the Blessed Sacrament and kneeling in prayer.

Lake Saint Clair and the Saint Clair River in the Great Lakes region of North America were named on her feast day August 12, 1679. In the Tridentine Calendar her feast day is celebrated as a Double on August 13. It was changed to a Third-Class Feast in 1960 (see General Roman Calendar of 1962), and in the 1969 calendar became an obligatory Memorial celebrated on the day of her death, August 11. Although her body is no longer claimed to be incorrupt, her skeleton is displayed in Assisi.

And so, my middle name is Clare....~* ;)

Carine and Cheng Yong's Wedding Day - 14 Jun 09

2009-06-16T13:42:00.011+08:00

It was a memorable day.
Our good friend since BT Band days, Carine is getting married!! After 7 long years of courtship!!The first in our JJAM group to get married!!! :)

And as a wedding gift (i still received angbao for helping..haha~*), i helped to do up their wedding montage which took me great pains to complete within 3 days!!!

I had to go to band practice in Westspring, go church at night for St Anthony's Feast Day triduum for 4 nights, and also help out with the cooking for St Anthony's Feast Day Food and Funfair!! So Tired!! So i couldn't have more time to do up a more brilliant than ever Montage, but i think it's still up to standard, at least alot teared when they saw it and felt very touched. *hehe* Can hire me to do up some wedding montage next time! ;)

Their wedding venue is @ The Legends, Fort Canning and they spent more than $20,000 on the wedding itself!! Is that cheap or expensive?? I dunno, but i think its quite a standard price to pay..so better save up for it! ;)

But no one can be as tired as the Bride and Bridegroom..hahahaAH`~* Carine was telling me that she's just very tired (she's always a calm person), while Cheng Yong was very gan chiong..haHAha~~* She also proudly announced that she is 15weeks pregnant!! I'm gonna be God-ma soon!!! woohoo!!

The wedding cake tower and champage tower are real nice!!

Free Poloroid for Michelle and I! ;)

While seating at our table, we were wondering.."Whose wedding will we be attending next?" Must be Elsie's, since she's got a boyfriend of 4 years already...and she mentioned that it will likely be 3 years later that she'll get hitched. ;) Its really touching seeing your own friend moving on to the next stage in life..Where 2 bodies becomes 1 and procreation begins.. :)

I seriously love the shot glass and passport cover!! Actually each of us should take just either of one, but since Jason couldn't make it to the event that day, i just took extra! *hehe*

(From Left): Zi Xian, Elsie and I

Group photo with the newly wedded couple, Cheng Yong and Carine!

Before leaving, i took a quick shot with Carine!

Brides are really beautiful on their wedding night...I'm really looking forward to this day, in future... God bless me with a good loving husband... Amen! :)

Congrats to the newly wedded couple again!! May both have a healthy and obedient baby soon! ;)

God's Answers

2009-05-29T14:28:00.003+08:00

Got this somewhere from the internet...very nice~* ;)

For all the negative things we say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it.

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 and John 13:34)

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 and Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8 )

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I FORGIVE YOU (I John 1:9 and Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

"The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knoweth them that trust in Him." (Nahum 1:7)

Remember this: When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something!!!

Bless us O Lord, may we be able to keep this day holy. May your grace be always with us and all our loved ones. We asked this, in Jesus Christ most precious name. Amen.

Sweet dream~ :)

2009-05-29T00:46:00.005+08:00

I had, finally, a sweet dream today...during afternoon nap. So sweet that i didn't want to wake up and go for RCIA session.. haha~*~

I just dreamt that he reconciled with me, and that we're back together. I can't remember what happened in the dream, but i just woke up feeling very happy...as if it was real... i missed the happy moments.. :)

Coincidentally, during RCIA session today, we discussed about "Repentance and Growth"!

We've got a scenario that we need to act out.

A family with 2 children, which consist of a faithful husband and strayed wife who had a lover...

We have to come up with the ending of the stories..

So, Sarah, one of the Catechumens, told us a real life story.

There was a charming man with a beautiful wife, and a baby boy. Subsequently, the wife fall in love with an ugly man (we don't know how it happened). When all things seems lost, the faithful husband prayed all these while, for a miracle to happen. That is, for his wife to come back to him.

For 6 months, he's been praying hard. And it happened. She really did come back to him. This story is very short, and details were not given (because we were told just to act out a scenario). But this is a true real life story of a repentant wife who come back to her forgiving husband.

So, what does this mean to me?

Have faith!! Pray for a miracle...when all seems lost, turn towards God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit and away from sin.. I'm really gonna pray more Novenas, more daily prayers for this BIGGEST miracle to happen in my life..that he gets enlightened by the Father, Son and Holy Spirit..and come back to Christ..and if it is the Lord's Holy will, back to me as well..

The whole story also depicts the faithful man as the Holy Trinity, the wife as Believers, the 3rd party as Satan/Man/Power/Money/Control,etc. A Conversion must be present for Believers, to turn away from evil, and towards the Father through Jesus. It is then, Reconciliation will occur...for people to acknowledge love, confess all sins and have an absolution to stay away from sins.

Starting from Moss' time, people have been turning away and coming back to God, time to time. E.g. Moss times, Prophet's time where Hosea marries Harlot Gomen, Ezekiel's time..and John the Baptist, who is known for his baptism of repentance, when the Kingdom of God is at hand...

Really need to go and read up on the parts stated above...because i haven't started reading the Old Testement!! hahaaHA~~*

Its been sometime when i last felt inspired by God. Does this RCIA session signal anything to me? A sign by God? will pray for the gift of Discernment..

God's will be done.

Amen.

Crucifix instead of Cross...

2009-05-27T19:19:00.007+08:00

Been watching movies regarding Christ..

1) Passion of the Christ
2) Jesus of Nazareth
3) Bible series...on Jesus

All by different actors, with some differences on how they bring out the story regarding Jesus' life...All had Jesus' Passion...the Crucifixion on the cross.. and the resurrection..

I have a cross, which is made of white gold..been loving it, and wearing it since day 1 when i received it..

I didn't understand the meaning of having Jesus on the cross, looking sorrowful...i was thinking, "Why can't we carry a cross by ourselves, like imitating Jesus, like we are carrying a little cross in this cruel world, and striving to be Christ-like?" I did not like his sad fate, so i justified with myself that a simple cross will signify a devotion for him.

After watching the movies these days, it started to dawn upon me, the importance of the cruxific..I been reading articles online, which really enlightens me and explains how i've been feeling...

"Give me the crucifix over the cross"
At this time of year, as Holy Week approaches, I’m reminded of the embarrassment of the crucifix. The Protestant churches of my youth and today usually have crosses, not crucifixes. It’s not the same. In fact, I think it’s a problem.

As G. K. Chesterton once explained, the Protestant who dismisses the dying Christ may, in the end, become satisfied with a dead cross. “To salute the Cross in that sense is literally to bow down to wood and stone.” Such an idea is surprising to Protestants, because we thought it was Catholics who worshiped idols. But the salvation by faith alone preached by Luther sometimes looks like a faith in faith, a way of living in the head that replaces the Catholic understanding of the church as the vehicle of salvation.

St. Paul said that the cross of Christ would be a stumbling block to some, and salvation to others. “Is the flesh which was crucified become as poison to the crowds in the street, or is it as a strong gladness and hope to them, as the first flower blossoming out of the earth’s humus?” wrote D. H. Lawrence in The Rainbow.

Protestant crosses replaced Catholic crucifixes long ago in an effort to emphasize the Resurrection. I remember in my own very protestant churches as a child, we never heard sermons or lessons on the cross during Holy Week that did not, in some way, reveal the resurrection. Whereas a Catholic would literally darken the sanctuary from Maundy Thursday evening until the Easter vigil service, we would preach Good Friday as if it was Easter Sunday. The lessons of the sacrifice, the bloody lynching that was the crucifixion, the pain and sorrow and despair of the human Christ, were lost to us. In some profound ways, the cross by itself was for us an embarrassment, foolishness, a stumbling block.

The cross is without the corpus, or body, of Jesus. Spare crosses lack the mess and misery. I’m drawn to the corpus—even the bloodiness—of the old-fashioned crucifix. Not even those sanitized Jesuses hanging blithely with peace-loving eyes will do. The ancient church tried to distance themselves from the suffering of Christ; it wasn’t until about the sixth century that Christians felt able to take ownership of the Crucifixion. Only at that time, do we see religious art and image portraying the suffering Christ.

I prefer a crucifix to a cross. Whether it is made of plaster, plastic, wood or iron, a crucifix is not merely a metaphor. I want to learn to be comfortable in its embarrassment. May I someday more fully know the Christ who knew what it was like to be unwanted and despised.“God’s folly is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength.” (1 Cor. 1: 25).

I want to remember that Jesus came down to earth, to save us from our sins, to reconcile us with God our Father in Heaven, and died for us so that we may live. Whenever i see the scene when Jesus was being tortured and scourged, every sin by us signified a lash of the cruel whip unto His body..

It is a cruel world out there, where alot of people lived without souls, with only money as their God, being slaves to money... I pray that people will remember who Jesus suffered and died for, to become resurrected from any of their current souless life, and live in the Kingdom of Christ Love for us all. Having Jesus on the cross, a crucifix is not merely a metaphor; it is the symbol of the most important historical event in history.

"Lord Jesus, take my life and make it wholly pleasing to you. Sanctify me in your truth and guide me by your Holy Spirit that I may follow you faithfully wherever you lead."

Amen.

Paranoid...

2009-05-25T09:46:00.007+08:00

Had a terrible dream last night...

Ended at 6.15am when i was awaken by the alarm clock...

When i went back to sleep, another similar dream attacked me...

I'm guessing its the devils playing afool with my dreams..

But then again, i provided them the opportunity to attack me...

The RCIA process is in such a way, that in this 22 months process, our status changes from Inquirier ==> Catechumens ==> Elects ==> Neophytes (Newly Baptised Catholics, lasting a year)==> Catholics!

The RCIA have told me that when we become Elects (about 1 month away from being baptised), alot of strange, weird things will happen. The people in my Alpha group told me that when they were elects, all had different experiences.. My soon-to-be Godpa, Jeffrey, kena strange scratches all over his body, like cat scratches..My soon-to-be Godma, Carol, had bad relationships with her family...started quarreling, etc. It always happens to Elects.. that's really a test to these people..that's why some people didn't get baptised at the VERY last min because they were so afraid..

Anyway, i dreamt that i was to attend my ex boyfriend's wedding... *sad sad*

I couldn't see the bride's face...it was a small simple very Chinese function..i was on my own, No Mitchell, No Neil around, ... I was so sad that i run out of the function room..

It was a familiar feeling..when my best girlfriend in sec sch was together with Anthony(we were childish back then..).. The sourish feel in the heart... And he came chasing out to explain why he got married, said that i hated him in the emails i've sent to him, so he got back with his previous ex girlfriend.. And i tried to explain that i didn't hate him at all..blar blar blar...and then....

He pulled out his cigarette box, lit one up, placed one cigarette into my hands (signalling me to smoke with him), grabbed both my wrist and said, "So...do you want me to go away with you?"..

SUDDENLY, Father Terence appeared on my left!!!!

(This is really Father Terence!!)

He said to me, " He is already married, do not go with him. Thou must not commit adultery.."

And my alarm clock rang...

This dream is sooOOOOoOoO frightening...

I think this is the last thing i ever want to happen...

If he ever gets married, i will doubt that i will attend. I will run far far away, go to Vatican and stay for awhile before coming back to Singapore..

This dream is also not reflective of Anthony in real life.. He will NEVER ask me to lit up a cigarette, will never ask me to smoke with him! So i was suspecting that the devils are playing with my minds when i am weak...(when i am missing him sometimes...BUT i'm ok ah..don't come asking me how i am..) ..

And God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit within, came in the form of Father Terence to assist me! hahHAa~~* God knows that i really treat Father Terence as a great mentor in life.

I forgot my second dream already by now..but it wasn't as terrifying as the first..

HaizzZz~

4 Years and 3 Months from now, August 2013, will i really get married?

Where's the man?

I'm really looking forward to form the family group in church with my current facilitators and RCIA group mates..all the kids can play and have fun together while the parents slack around, relax by the pool having bbq..

- God will send that special someone forward in His Time...Lord. let it be according to your way, and not my way..

Amen! =)

Slave or Best Friend of God?

2009-05-19T01:10:00.006+08:00

Scripture: John 15: 9-17

9 As the Father had loved Me, so have I loved you; abide in My Love. 10If you keep my commandments, you will abide in My Love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in His Love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that My Joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. 12"This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no man than this, that a may lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in My Name, He may give it to you. 17This I command you, to love one another..

Meditation:

Servanthood is the mark of true Christian living. Jesus emphasized it during the Last Supper, saying that He came not to be served, but to serve, and that likewise we should serve one another. In His parables, He often referred to believers as "servants" of the Kingdom.

But in this Gospel reading, Jesus says that He wants us to be His friends, not His slaves. Is He contradicting Himself?

Not at all! Friends serve because they care. Slaves serve because of duty and fear of punishment. Jesus said, "If you keep My commandments, you will remain in My Love." Do we hear this as a friend or a slave?

Slaves are afraid of what will happen if they fail to keep their master's command; they are self-protective. Friends are eager to find out what God commands, because they view the commandments from the perspective of love, as opportunities to serve; they are otheroriented.

Jesus said, "This is my commandment: Love one another the way I love you." It's the supreme commandment; call it the Commandment of Friendship. He says, "You know how I love you, my friends: I openly share with you everything that the Father tells me." His friends realize that what He shares (through the scripture and through the Church) reveals the opportunities to love that we seek. Every commandment is rooted in love. Every Church teaching is based on love.

When we fail to obey, do we lose God's love? Never! Do we lose our place in His Love? Yes. By living outside of His commandments, we feel unloved even while being loved.

This is slavery. We're enslaved by fear or by false beliefs or by our wounds that have caused us to think that we're not loved enough. God's commands then feel confining, and if we try to escape, we commit rebellion. Those who don't rebel accept their slavery and obey dutifully in the hope of winning God's love.

Friends, on the other hand, know that God always loves them, and in this love, they are free to serve one another joyfully.

=================================================================

During the sermon, Father Terence mentioned something about Love, that i will never want to forget..

Love, is an overly abused, misused, overused word ever. In his journey in the process of priesthood, alot of times, he was taught to re-examine, re-educate himself on the meanings of words..

People talk about how much they "Love" their new car, how much they "love" their shoes, their bags, their possessions..they "love" their pets! But are they willing to die for what they love?

Love concerns a sacrifice... The word, Love, should only be used on people. People that you are willing to lay down your life for, just like what Jesus did by laying down his life to carry the sins of the World. Jesus's Passion really shows us what is the greatest Love of all...

I've been dreaming of having a family, whenever i see Victoria with her kids, Bernard with his daughter and wife, and how many of my friends getting married with their longtime sweethearts...OhhhH man... how i used to be afraid of the word "marriage"...It just meant "fear of the unknown"!

After getting to know about Christ's Love, it sort of opens up my mind about the whole thing on beauty of marriage, the union of two, that a man is only half a person without the other half, a being is only complete with two flesh becoming one.. and NOW I don't even have anyone with me! *sad sad*..

Thinking about my past relationships... i am sure, very sure, that i really loved Anthony. Not even Charles or Francis fit the criteria of me truly loving them... Anthony could have been a great husband, should he have been a Christ-like man...He is so lost... Only when he's back with Christ, then i'll see Miracle... Even if he's not destined with me, i'll pray for him to be reconciled with Christ...

Nonetheless, God's will be done. I'll go according to the path Lord our Father is going to direct me to...Lord, let it be according to your way, and not my way...

Amen.

What's a prayerful life like?..Part 1

2009-05-17T23:52:00.006+08:00

I've been pondering..."What exactly is a prayerful life?"...

I've been trying my best to logicalise the purpose of prayers..in a theorical manner. Some ways to make it understandable and for laymen to easily remember its purpose.

What does a prayerful life do? In the most sensible form...that actually makes sense to laymen, to people of other religion, to non-prayerful people, to non-church goers, to non-believers of Christ, to free-thinkers...

How exactly does a prayerful Life work in everyone's lives?

Perhaps i'll just have this as a start...a Part 1 to my blog on prayers..because i know so little of my faith in Christ...

1. Prayers allows me to focus on ELTs....

Every Little Things in Life.. and recognise certain things really happens as a miracle.

E.g. A friend of mine, who is a catechism teacher in our church, sustained quite a bad fall 2 weeks back. She was walking towards the bus stop, and she saw the bus coming! She told herself to calm down, don't run, and just walked fast. BUT STILL....She tripped and fell flat on her face! Her fall was so bad, that she had open wounds with part of her skin on her hand torn out, her toes also suffered bruises..

But you know what?? Instead of cursing and swearing like everyone else normally would do, she prayed and thank God that she did not suffer anything worse than this...

2. Prayers puts our Life into a positive perspective...

And continuing from the previous example, it is like a paradigm change, a RADiCAL change.

The word RAdical, comes from the word, "root". A change from the insides of yourselves, a fundamental change. If you're used to a pessismestic life, where you curse each weekday morning, have monday blues, swear at anyone who crosses your path on your bad day, when disasters befall upon you and you blame everyone but yourself...start to pray...pray for reflections, meditate, pray for people who have lives who seemed worse that yourselves, etc..

3. Prayers makes me appreciate things i've always taken for granted...

The prayers before meals, has always been symbolical to me, whenever i have a good time on my own, or with church friends to pray our meals together. Its marks Respect for the food that we have, and also, that the animals we have eaten, for their souls to depart through the mercy of Christ our Lord. Whatever pains and torments they have gone through, May they enter Heaven and enjoy a life everlasting with Lord our Father.

4. Prayers as a group, made me more aware of the World issues and pray for the Good...

When we are in the Eucharistic celebrations (Mass), or during RCIA sessions or talks, sometimes Father will talk about World issues and relate it to what our fundamental values in Christ teachings are..

E.g. The AWARE issue.. The whole thing about sexual education etc.. It is only until the Christifideles Laici talk which was held by Father Terence, that i realised that the Pope once asked our ArchBishop Nicholas Chia, "Why is it that Singapore didn't have a Peace and Justice centre??"

The Peace and Justice centre is a non-profit institution which works on the interconnected issues of economic and racial justice, peace, and human rights through education, advocacy, training, non-violent activism and community organizing. Our SINGAPORE government has SHUT IT DOWN! In...God knows when?? I don't say that i support the once-new leaders of AWARE, but they were truely modern-time martyers for good cause in the process..If they had not bring up the case about the standards of sexual education in Singapore, MOE would still be living in a state of.."Everything is goody and alright" kinda mentality...

5. Prayers allows me to find strength in whatever weakness i am in or having...

I feel weak whenever i start thinking how sad my dear's life has been, and seeing how he is still living in his own world, living by the day, unsure about his future.. I do not know how to help him, but just pray for him daily over the mornings (whenever i wake up and prepare for sch, i think of him..) over the night (before sleep) and random times (whenever i encounter some things interesting, he will just pop into my mind, and i wanna share with him), and during intercessary prayers (especially during St Anthony's Novena..my special intentions for him)..

Dear Lord, our Father in Heaven, help me with my little faith...

Holy Saint Anthony please assist in interceding my prayers to Jesus...

Inspire the Holy Spirit in him and bring him back to Christ...

Thank you, in Jesus Christ most precious name,

Amen.

www.myprettycreations.blogspot.com

2009-05-15T17:44:00.004+08:00

I've just purchased a sweet pair of earrings from this lady called Elizabeth! This item is called "Paris Trip"! So sweet and exquisite!!!!~ I really love it!!! ;)

Her website is @ www.myprettycreations.blogspot.com!!
Although her price range is alittle high, her creations are really unique and materials are of real PREMIUM quality! Suitable for people who have sensitive skin! That's why i love her works. ;)

I have some of her items which ranges from $4 to $15 ONLY as well, but she doesn't display them as it takes alot of time to upload all the items that she makes.

I have invited her to come and set up a stall her the St Anthony's Feast Day at my church, but due to miscommunications with my group, they have decided to specialise in a western dessert stall that day, so i am so apologetic to leave her out from the funfair..So........I'll be asking her to pass me some of her pretty creations so i can promote to all my dearest ladies!!!

Check out her blog to find out more!! ;)

Bless this sweet lady Elizabeth.

God's will be done.

Amen.

Busy May and June!!~* [UPDATED]

2009-05-10T23:53:00.009+08:00

Its gonna be a busy busy yet fulfilling MAy and June 2009!!!

Besides the weekly Thursday RCIA sessions,

- 8 and 15 May (both fridays 8pm) - Talk on “Christifideles Laici”, the encyclical written by late Pope John Paul II on our Christian vocation and mission on earth. By Father Terence Pereira

- 15 May (And 12 consecutive fridays, 8pm) - Alpha group session Day 1. An introduction to Christian faith. For both Catholics and non-Catholics.

- 21 May (Thurs, 9pm Eucharistic celebration aka Mass) - Ascension Day: To commemorate Jesus Christ's ascension into heaven, according to the New Testament of the Bible. It is also Mitchell's birthday, so i think the Catechumens will be celebrating his birthday over the RCIA session. :)

- 23 May (Sat morn till nighttime) - Bak KuTeh Trip to Malaysia, Kota Tinggi!! Followed by some shopping, look see look see! With fellow RCIA Catechumens and Facilitators! ;)

- 30 May (Sat 3 - 10pm) - Talk on Christian Morality. By Father Terence! Followed by a 1 hr prayer session. :)

- 6 to 7 June (sat morn to sunday afternoon!) - A day and night out with Joyce, Li Hui, Lynn and perhaps Qiqi (we are the Citi@ngels!~~**) We're highly likely to book a hotel room in Sentosa and spend the night over there....cool!! Been wanting a good break by the beach a DaRn long time!!! But will be missing 1 breaking of word session in church...so sad...~ :( but anyway, not gonna miss out too much lah. ;) The Catechumens will keep me updated. ;)

Here comes the St Anthony's Feast Day Triduum 2009!!!

Theme: “A Saint For An Uncertain World”

- 10 June (Wed, 7.30pm): Sub-theme: “Availability before capability” by Fr Angel Luciano

On tuesday (the day before), it marks the end of a 9-week Novena prayer session, whereby i attend the 1/2 hr session over 9 consecutive tuesdays. Intercessary Prayers through St Anthony to Our Father in Heaven. Its amazing that i discovered that on these every tuesdays, the church will display a relic of St Anthony's in a portable altar...and the relic is from his tongue or throat (I'm not too sure..) I just know for a fact that after St Anthony's death (August 15, 1195 – June 13, 1231), his tongue remained perfectly intact, no decay at all, after many many years and decades! Amazing grace by our Lord!

- 11 June (Thurs, 7.30pm): Sub-theme: “Believe in the extraordinary” by Fr. Luke Fong
I think no RCIA session on this day then. Replaced by Father Ambrose session. :)

- 12 June (Fri, 7.30pm): Sub-theme: “Not by prayer” by Fr. Ambrose Vaz

- 13 June (Sat, 5.30pm): Procession by Archbishop Nicholas Chia

Wah! Alot of people still at work then!! I'll get to be up close to him then! hahaAHa~~*

- 14 June (Sun, 7.30pm onwards till late night): Its St Anthony's Food and Funfair and Feast Day dinner!! And also, it marks Carine and ZhengYong's wedding DAY!!

Thank GOD i lived near church!!! Gonna start working on the food to be sold during the food fair, most likely cooking and baking some food with Auntie Cynthia and Lorain..They're MARVELLOUS COOKS!!! Can learn alot from them..! And also Feast Day dinner's gonna be a grand one, and we've each paid SG$35! woohoo!~ that's gonna be a real good dinner! ;) The RCIA Catechumens and Alpha group people have both gotten a table of ten each filled! So it'll be a great night having the congregation together! And i've seen Father Terence going to his all night dancing mode..real fun seeing him dance!! ahaAHaha~~*

But sadly...i can't attend it!!! I MUST go for Carine's wedding day!! She's one of my best girlfriend in sec sch (besides MeiQing)!! She's only 23 this year, and she's been with her guy for the past 7 years already...maybe its time too! I think its God-given as well...they ought to move to a next stage in life. ;)

All the best for her wedding!!! Love ya dear!

- 26 June (7.30pm) - St Paul Musical: To celebrate the year of St Paul. Venue: NUS University Cultural Centre. Confirm a mini makan celebration at the prata stall nearby..hahaaAHa~* We're the Makan people...(no wonder i can't maintain my figure for long..ahhaaAH~~*)

Wow!! An eventful May and June holidays (i exclaim "HOLIDAY" because i don't get to work during June!!! :D ) Looking forward to more learning, work and fun in church! ;)

Bless those whom i wish for them (especially him) to come to church..

God's will be done.

Amen.

The vineyard...~

2009-05-10T17:53:00.004+08:00

I went church today, and guess what? Since Father Bruno is back to France for the next 3 months, today we had a "relief Father"! And he was the one who was famous for the Novena church exorcism case!

His sermon was real good. ;) He's a good preacher. Thank God who bless you to overcome the saga over the case.

Anyway, for every sunday, i guess i'll just have the homily readings here, so Pin wouldn't grumble at me for not updating..ahhaAHA~*

So...HEre's it!

“ He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit”

Scripture: John 15:1-8
1. "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2. Every branch of mine that bears no fruit, he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3. You are already made clean by the word which I have spoken to you. 4. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6. If a man does not abide in me, he is cast forth as a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire and burned. 7. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you. 8. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be my disciples.

Our Meditation and reflections:
The Gospel reading tells us that all who belong to Christ are fruit-bearing branches of one vine. Jesus is the vine, and because we are all attached to him, we share the same calling: to bear good fruit. And not just any fruit that seems good, but the same fruit that Jesus produced.

However, most of us underestimate how important this is! Stop underestimating how necessary it is for you to produce Christ's fruit — and more of it — today. Too many Christians settle for mediocrity. As long as we get some personal satisfaction from being Christian, we feel all too satisfied. As long as we're helping some people with our kindness or generosity or love, we think God is satisfied with the good fruits we're producing. Have you ever asked why there's so much evil in the world? Why doesn't God raise his almighty hand against war, against terrorism, against unemployment, against the greed of high -salaried managers who lay off their employees while giving themselves huge bonuses, against the perpetrators of physical and emotional abuse, against pro-abortion legislation, against poverty, against rising crime rates, or against any evil that's corrupting our world? Why doesn't God do something? Actually, he does!

However, he does it the same way he grows grapes. The energy of the vine (Jesus) travels through the vine to the little twigs (you and me and all Christians) that hold the grapes. The more open we are to receiving nourishment from Christ, the more fruit Jesus produces through us. But the grapes are not supposed to stay there! We're nourished by Christ in order to take his fruits abundantly out into the world. We must grow strong and healthy, branch out, and use everything we've received from Christ for the sake of others. Evil is stopped to the extent that we Christians continue Christ's earthly ministry. Victory over evil comes from Christ, that is, through us from Christ. Holiness in the world comes from Christ's Holy Spirit actively transforming it through our holiness.

Hope these readings bring an impact upon any person who are most in need to know about...

God's will be done.

Amen.

Fake eyelashes!!

2009-05-09T14:06:00.004+08:00

I'm learning to put on fake eyelashes now!!
No time to update!! hahaAHa~~*

From....女人我最大!!!

(PS: Pin, so sorry, really rushing for time! *hehe*)

Regards,

Annie

Eyelastin!!!

2009-04-23T17:43:00.008+08:00

Anybody wanna purchase Eyelastin with me??

Its voted all over the world (of more than 150 eye cream products!) as one of the best eye cream and it really works!
You can goggle it all over the internet and there's no bad reviews about it!!

Why i wanna get it:
I found out from April, my JC kaki, that she visited New York skin solutions and they did a trial eye skin test for her. They came out with a result that her dark circles are not due to fatigue or just lack of sleep, but due to the weak strength of the capillaries (blood vessels) around the eye skin area. Blood vessels just break, therefore forming the dark circles. That is why some of us may have "dark red" eye circles instead of having it "black"! I realised my problem is the same as well! My dark circles are dark red as well! That's why i needed a solution which helps to promote collagen growth! *And Of course i will still continue using the Eumora bar...its still very good... :) *

Alot of eye creams promises to remove dark circles, but it didn't help, because they tackle the "black rings" instead of the "red rings"!!!

So...Having read a health journal on http://www.healthnewsjournal.com/content/view/1358/9/?source=google/HNJ_eyecreams, i decided to get it a go! No more concealers for me!!!

A review i found from a user in Singapore (they bought it through the main website as well!)

"...i bought Eyelastin for the first time about 4 months ago and I have been been using it daily since then. Eyelastin has diminished the appearance of my dark circles and eye wrinkles, and some are so light I can no longer even see them..."

And some parts extracted from a review online:

"...Eyelastin also contains Matrixyl-3000, a protein complex that stimulates collagen production in the skin to increase firmness and skin strength..."

"...Also included in Eyelastin is Vitamin K, which is proven to repair broken capillaries which are the source of dark pigmentation (and hence dark circles) underneath the eyes..."

A complete list of ingredients for Eyelastin is as follows: Purified Water, Jojoba Oil, Apricot Kernel Oil, Squalane, Hyaluronic Acid, Arnica Montana, Vitamin K1, Oxido Reductases, Soy Peptide, Hydrolyzed Rice Bran Extract, Palmitoyl Oligopeptide, Palmitoyl Tetrapeptide-7 (ingredients used in Matrixyl 3000), Acetyl Hexapeptide-8 (also known as Argireline), Dipeptide Diaminobutyroyl Benzylamide Diacetate (also known as SYNAKE), Laureth-7, C13-14 Isoparaffin, Polyacrylate-13, Phenoxyethanol, Ethylhexylglycerin and Oil of Kumquat.

Some health reviews about it
1. http://www.consumerhealthdigest.com/Eyelastin_Review.htm
2. http://www.healthnewsminute.com/content/view/1546/117/

It's priced at USD$59.95, which is about SGD $90!

With the shipping itself of USD$24.99, which is an extra SGD$37!! Totaling up to SGD$127 for a single purchase!!!
However, for purchases over USD$100 (about SGD$150) , the shipping will be FREE!!

I will be purchasing it by the end of April or mid May latest...so if Anyone is interested in buying Eyelastin, please let me know!!! =D

Praying for someone to purchase it with me..*hehe*

God's will be done!

A spiritually enlightening sunday afternoon...~*

2009-04-19T14:54:00.014+08:00

Went to church today at 9am, had our group discussion (Breaking of Word aka BOW, which is pondering of the homily during church). A homily is a commentary that follows a reading of scripture from the Bible.

In the Catholic Churches, the Anglican Communion, and in the Eastern Orthodox Church, a homily is usually given during Mass (or Divine Liturgy for Orthodox and Eastern Catholic Churches) at the end of the Liturgy of the Word, which typically consists of three readings: a reading from the Old Testament, a non-Gospel reading from the New Testament, and a reading from the Gospels.

Bernard, our facilitator, just came back from Philippines!!! YiPeEee!~~* We got so much to catch up on, and will definitely have a good chat next thursday and friday's Feast day!

Anyway, after BOW, Aunt Christine, Shireen, Victoria and i went over to an Indian store in Sembawang for lunch...and we had a long and fruitful chat about our faith.. That session was totally amazing....Victoria, our RCIA facilitator, told us, "When 2 or more people gathers and talks about God, He will be around to guide us.." ;) That is so amazing... i believe He really did. =)

2 memorable stories i'm gonna share today during our session...

A sharing by Shireen, she told us there's this Father in St Joseph church at Bukit Timah. He's Fr. Edmund Chong. During one of his mass or his Catechism sessions, he mentioned during one of his reconciliation services, 2 men came for confession. Later on, he discovers that these 2 men are Charismatic church pastors. He asked them, "Why do you come for confession, since charismatic church never believes in confession?" Then, it was revealed that, these 2 pastors had done exorcism. And during the exorcism process, one of the pastors actually heard the devil rebuking to him, "In what position are you in, to drive me away? Have you not sinned yourself, You poor sinner..."

And she goes on to tell us, that there's certain books documented in the Vatican about exorcism, written into a book..which Shireen read it somewhere...think the book is called "Devil's Advocate"(not the movie!) or something along that line (i'm still trying very hard to get my hands on that book!!), which talks about 5 most famous and important exorcisms in history...There was one which talks about several priests needed to defeat a very strong demon...at the end, only 1 priest survived. And she goes on to say..."There's always a balance between the spiritual realm. The good and the evil, the light and the dark, and the most powerful disguise that demons has, is to proclaim that THEY do not exist. And that's when the Good cease to exist"....

When the strong demon started to question the priests during the exorcism, these evil beings will always know their attackers weakest link. One of the priests, before his priesthood, had sexual relationship with his ex-girlfriend, and subsequently, they broke up. The priest, after the exorcism, fell ill and within a few months, passes away. He didn't manage to resolve his personal guilt (Priest also need to do their own confession! The Pope confesses every week!), that's why he fell...that's why spiritual strength is very important, where confession and reconciliation with God is an essential part of it.

Victoria is a nurse for over 17 years, a mother of 2 pri sch kids, and she has seen much in her life in hospitals. Not a single hospital is spared from spirits lingering, as there are bound to be deaths in hospitals. Almost the entire staff in her hospital will have religions, mainly either Muslims or Christians (Catholics included), therefore they all experienced similar spiritual stuffs. So, whenever she felt uneasy or that there are spirits lingering and playing afool, she will say "In the name of Jesus Christ, Get Out of here!!" And the uneasiness will be gone. Only in God's name, we are able to drive evil away. She's really someone who is not afraid of spirits, as she is strong in her faith and she really goes for her confessions faithfully whenever she needs it! i must really learn from her...

Will blog about the importance of confession, reconciliation and healing in my next blog!! Too much to say now..

The next story comes from Victoria! I really love her...as she really enlightens me alot and strengths me in my faith towards God. True story!!!

There was a friend of hers, with a son born with ear defects. Since birth, the baby boy has been in and out of hospital for his ear infection. He was born with a disconnected ear canal, which lead to frequent ear infections. He has to get ear pus out from his ears regularly, or suffer from sever ear pains and infections. This went on for 2-3 years..until one night, the child was crying out loud in pain! Apparently, the pain was so excruciating, that he needs to be admited to hospital.

That night, the doctor had to remove alot of ear pus and inject the little boy with a strong dosage of pain killer. He then advised the parents to bring the child home, and come back the following morning as he can only get the ear specialist the next day.

The child's parents did not bring the crying child back home. Instead, they brought him to the Novena church, late in the night. There, at the foot of our Mother Mary where the gates to her status are closed, the crying child was thrown there. The weeping parents kneeled down and prayed all night... They surrendered their child to Our Lady, for her intercession to Jesus to save their child... (Novena church is a place where over 25,000 people pray weekly for miracles to happen, after 9 weeks of intercession prayers through Mary to Jesus..)

The next morning, when the child was brought to the doctor for diagnosis, he was puzzled and astonished! There was no more infection, the disconnected ear canal has miraclously connected!!! Such miracles are what science is unable to explain.. Amazing Grace from our Lady and our God! True life story!! Now the child is primary 6 and living well! =D

Of course, there are alot more amazing stories which i cannot type out all...all for you to experience and understand through the amazing grace of God.

Peace to All and Praise the Lord.

Amen.

My Evolution...~

2009-04-16T00:47:00.012+08:00

Ok..as requested by Pin...to update my blog..hahaHaa~~*

Actually got too much in mind to consolidate..Everyday after school, when i get back home and prepared to write something online, i fell asleep...The kids (I always call them ladies and gentlemen in class! but at the back of my mind, they are really kids!! ) really deplete my energy levels...

Note: If i write without a proper struture, without a clear flow of thoughts, please pardon me. Because its 1.30am in the morning!!

Life's like Evolution

Recently, i caught up with one of my best guy friends back in sec sch days (he's Daniel). We had a catch up in westspring sec sch (he's the music teacher there as well), and got to know more about the schools current system...kids nowadays etc..

Generally, kids are kids..they are all the same, the past, present and even future. Just that we're in different generations, different ways to capture their attention. Last time there wasn't PSP, Laptops, computers, projectors to play around with.... Now, we have to fight against the appeal of technology (that means, fighting to get their focus onto us teachers!) and sometimes, join in the current wave (Daniel uses Youtube for teaching purposes!!)!

The things that never change, is how....bad students will always be noisy, naughty, loud, stubborn... but some of them will grow up to become street-smart people, and if their time of "Awakening" comes faster, they will do well in life. Why? Because their life didn't come easy. I realised alot of students in Normal Academic classes, Normal Technicals, come from broken families. Single parents, on the verge of divorce, gangsters as parents, uneducated parents who do not know how to teach their children for the past 13-16 years... all types. Things aren't present to them in a silver plate. They are not spoon-fed like most of the Singaporeans of today. That is why, i kinda enjoyed teaching them. Maybe because they reminded me of alot of my friends back in sec school, especially Anthony. hahaAHa~~*

My Life used to be like, a sunflower. Alot of sunshine, fun, laughter, outspokeness, loudness....everything looks bright and shinny on the surface.

As i enter into working society, things change. We are exposed to alot more different kinds of people, with different problems, all different on the surface, but deep down, we are all the same... alot of us, lacking the "nutrients" in life....

Worst of all, some people may not realise what they do not have (or require desperately), and instead, seek materials, luxuries to fulfill that emptiness in them, that "lacking of nourishments" in them...

"Before we know God, we must know ourselves" This is a statement made by Father Bruno during a sermon in church.... Before we are able to truly love ourselves, we should look inside of us to see what we are lacking, what we hate, or are angry at ourselves and heal it.

Then, we will start to be able to love ourselves, and in turn, be able to truly understand God's Love for us, and embrace God into our lives so dearly that we will never forsake him. =)

While doing the Easter flower arrangements, i was assigned to remove the petals of the newly arrived roses. I think it is destined for me to get this task. :)

Like white roses...we grew up..unpolished (Alot of people dunno white roses looks like this in the first place!!! We humans disguish ourselves well too!), and some, gets rotten on the outside (i have seen some really looks rotten and looks like it needs to be thrown into the rubbish chute instead..). Some faced with bad situations, mixed with bad companies,...all in all, perhaps a rough life like these "cabbage" looking roses..

When we take time to remove all the rotten, whithered parts, torn and tattered petals, and look deep down inside of it...It is actually, a pure, white, beautiful heart. Some looked beyond rotteness, and if you really take time to remove the spoilt parts, they are really beautiful...

I'll depict my Life now, as evolution into a pure white rose..

I'm not too rotten on the outside, but just growing on the inside (hopefully i am, with God's graces). Praying that i'll evolve into a beautiful pure white rose as well..

I'm starting to enjoy to stay at the back scene now, observing lives of different people changing, praying for various friends, and students for their evolution to come (my student's time of "awakening" takes time, but i'll pray for them), and especially some special ones out there, still lacking the nutrients they do not know and seeking toxins to poison themselves further (pray for them)...

Pray for all, to evolve into a beautiful pure white rose.

God's will be done.

Amen. (It means, "So be it", or "Let it be". It is of Hebrew origin, for God's will to be done, instead of having our wishes, because God always knows what's best for us.)

Recent reads: Compendium- Catechism of the Catholic church

2009-03-31T00:48:00.002+08:00

Recent reads: Compendium - Catechism of the Catholic church, compiled by our Pope Benedict XVI.

Being slacking around..so its time to fill up my knowledge bank!
Compendium is a concise, yet comprehensive compilation of a body of knowledge. (Good thing that the book has BIG fonts! )

Catechism is a summary or exposition of doctrine, traditionally used in Christian religious teaching from New Testament times to the present. Catechisms are doctrinal manuals often in the form of questions followed by answers to be memorized, a format that has been used in non-religious or secular contexts as well.

In short, it is an educational system on Christianity, in this context. =)

The part i liked inside is...The Lord's prayer. It is the only prayer which unities all Christians, because it is the only prayer, taught by Jesus. The book explains every single sentence in this prayer.

Gonna read up more!

Amen.

Feelings never last...Love do.

2009-03-27T04:20:00.009+08:00

Had an interesting conversation with Father Bruno today before RCIA session...

At the end of the whole conversation...everything seems so vague, and yet so clear...

Religion is such an....unclear topic. There's no direction, there's no clear indication of whether signs are really from God..There's no right or wrong...

What fasinates me and what's clear is...everything i've research upon...is all about Love.

Everything ends up with the Love of God.. and His love can be related to Couple relationships as well..

How does couple get to know each other? Through Communication.

How do we get to know God? Through Prayers.

Does feelings between couples last? No, and it fades away, can be deceiving as well...

The same goes for religion as well. Some people have "initial feelings" for God...its like a novelty...and when feelings fade away, when praying turn from a way of communication to God, into a chore, they leave God. Same like feelings between couples.

Feelings fade away ultimately, Feelings can be temporary, and most of the time, it is.

It is Love, which revives the feelings for each other. And it is also Love which sustains the relationship between a couple or between us and God, when there are no feelings..The understanding, the communication, the 感情 which is built up overtime, which keeps the flame burning alive. The knowing that we have to be there for each other...

Keeping the love for God alive, we read up the Bible, research on the history of Christianity, commit to God's works, these keeps the Love for God alive. And prayers is a means of connecting to God..a way of communication. a way to build up the 感情 for Him.

I've asked him about Miracles as well...why are the saints in the past able to perform miracles such as, the Saint of Miracles, St Anthony. He performed his first miracle when he was a little child, who is able to gather huge flocks of birds away from the field, and into the church, to prevent them from eating up all the seeds..when he grew up, he performed many other miracles such as, healing the man who amputated his leg (i think he really attached it back!), doing justice by bringing the dead to life for a short moment to testify for his dad who he was wrongly accused as a murderer, etc.

The life of St Anthony was amazing...and he was witnessed while praying, that brilliant rays shone from his room..and he was seen with sweet infant Jesus with him clinging onto him.. Those were the miracles back then..

Perhaps, my expectation of miracles is too high. After chatting with Father Bruno, i realised that Our miracles of these times, perhaps, is to be alive to see so many wonderful things in the world throughout the centuries through ages, being able to withstand the social stress and pressures, being able to live in a safe place like Singapore with our family...being able to see and enjoy the beautiful sunrise and sunset each morning and evening...

My heart should be filled with thanksgivings, praise, for the miracles in our daily life..

"May my unfailing prayer to St Anthony for intercession to sweet infant Jesus be granted. The answer to my prayer may require a miracle, even so, you are the Saint of Miracles. Whisper my petition into the ears of the Sweet infant Jesus, who loved to be folded in your armsl and the gratitude of my heart will ever be yours."

God's will be done.

Amen.

Shuddup!!!

2009-03-26T02:58:00.008+08:00

I'm learning to shuddup...~ Shut up..i mean...

A more appropriate meaning will be..to be alert.

Being very conscious recently, not to "let it out" too quickly...my frustrations, my opinions, Very mindful...

A friend of mine recently shot me down in an email, with several others in the CC.

I felt injustice actually, because he didn't specify what is to be done, what is not to be done..

He did NOT say its just ME who can make certain donations....and i have sms to prove it..

Maybe its also my fault for assuming things as well...for not asking EVERYTHING specifically. but its just so embarassing to CC all to shot me down!!!..not just that, he is actually a friend i can consider quite close...so its hurtful that he's so insensitive..

Wanted to email back to show him what he smsed me...but anyway, forget it..

I want happiness more than wanting to be right..

After talking to Valerie the other day...i realised how inconsistent i am with my words...

I often used to ask people.."You want to have happiness, or you want to be right?"...

After examining myself all these while, i realised all along, i have always wanted to be RIGHT, rather than choosing happiness. My actions speaks...when i ridicule someone, when i laugh at someone's mistakes, when i choose to fight back for my so-called "justice"..and i never end up happier than before...

Sometimes, Silence is really golden...

God's will be done.

Amen.

Date with Valerie!~*

2009-03-23T17:43:00.009+08:00

Yesterday, i had a date with Val, a fellow RCIA faciliatator in church...

Although she's only 19 years old, but i think...she's been gone through alot in life...and the words that comes out of her mouth speaks of wisdom (no rubbish at all!)..an extraordinary young lady..
Recently, maybe i'm just too bored and having nothing to do, i went "out-of-course" with life...She did her best to align me back..and amazingly..the homework she told me to do, worked!

The day before our meeting, she wrote to me in an email:

"At this moment of despair, pour out your heart to the Lord, give every fibre of your body to Him and cry out to Him. He will heal you and comfort you by helping you to discover more about yourself (your hurts, your talents, your weaknesses) and in His Time, He will help you to discern, to know of His Will for you. If He is calling you, be sure that He will make the Signs BIG and CLEAR.

HW: Pray with the bible, followed by a decade of Rosary."

As i prayed the Rosary, sorrow that was built up inside began to pour out...and within a few mins, a strong sense of protection began to envelope my heart...and the sense of despair went away...

I kind of like...wanted to squeeze all the tears out, but i couldn't, as there was no more hurt at that moment.. it was amazing...

We met up, and chat for a few hours outside MacDonalds at Civic centre.

Having trouble getting over my last guy, we talked through about relationships, hurts in life, family, knowing ourselves...

And, she gave me some homework to practise on...

1. Write 10 positive and 10 negatives about ourselves.

10 positives:

I am nice and pretty (quite surface...)
I am generous, when i have the money to treat friends..
I am a straight-forward, frank person.
I love children!!! I am good at handling them too!
I am good with uncles and aunties ( they love me like their child! Most of them. I act cute..ahhaahaAH~*)
I can easily cheer people up when i want to!
I can hang out with guys and not get bored easily. I'm easy-going actually.
I am quite patient.
I am quite tolerant and accepting person also.
I am forgiving. (After getting such a horrendous boyfriend, and still being able to forgive him, i think i'm REALLY a forgiving person..ahaAHaha~~*)

10 Negatives (Some are extremes of my positives..):

I am cut people with my words sometimes...especially to people closest to me..i will intentionally pick their weak spot and keep poking at it...to make them realise what's PAIN..(that's usually when they hurt me...i DO retaliate..)
I am insensitive with handling egos..especially Men's...
I am a TOO straight-forward sometimes...too blunt..
I have a LOUD voice..(maybe i'll turn into a naggy LOUD mama next time..haha~~)
I am persistent...meaning VERY STUBBORN person..
I "show face" when i'm in a really terrible mood...I can be a mood killer sometimes...
I am too reckless with decisions sometimes..anything also CHOP CHOP FAST FAST finish and move on...
I am poor with managing finances and organisation. Quite messy sometimes.. I am not good with tidying up stuffs.
I am not a "particular" person..not capable of scrutinizing details...don't have a good eye for details...
I treat friends better than family (changing now...i'm more family-oriented these days..)

2. Understand what is the kind of guy that we want for our lives.
SomeOne who can complement my weakness... I can add strength to his weaknesses...
Being in a relationship in Love, is actually different from being in a relationship in Marriage.

There's much much more to consider when the impending BIG "M" comes...
In marriage... conflicts are inevitable, there are bound to be differences, and its is these differences that we are here to complement each other. THERE's still much more to understand about Marriage...Matrimony..

I remembered that in my previous blog on the down-to-earth guy that i wanted..i mentioned the following list. From my weaknesses.. i'll need to add in points 11 onwards..

Have passion for life.
Be there to adore and care for me. Be there whenever i need him. Really love me for who i am.
Friendly guy to know, so my close friend can generally accept.
Willing to change for the better. Not stubborn. Good EQ.
Be investment savvy. Knows how to manage finance.
A determined guy. Once he sets to start something, he will not give up and pursues to the end.
Healthy guy without much bad habits.( I can tolerate drinking, but not smoking and clubbing.) (I give in to this..)
Loves to hear me talk, appreciates whatever i do for him.
Understands his priorities in life, values and beliefs.
Have faith and hope for life.
One who has an eye for details...can help me have look out for flaws, able to inspect, scrutinize.
One who is a rational person, keep me in check from making rash decisions.
One who is family-oriented (maybe being filial son will do.)
One who can accept my weakness at poking egos, being stubborn, not willing to listen...and be patient with me for that until i change for the better..
One who is willing to accept that we can grow together, willing to keep each other updated about our growth so that we will not drift apart...willing to spend time to know each other more, even when we are at our ripe old age...

"Before knowing about God, we must understand ourselves..."There's so much to understand from this sentence...

One answer for sure is....When we know oursleves..and when the time is ripe, God will prepare us for the special someone to come...in His Time..

That is why i have to do this homework.. (There's this amazing feeling that God sent her to speak to me...seriously!! No joke! You know when u believe...)

Right now, after talking to Valerie, i just wanna focus on praying for Anthony to lead a truly happy life (not gonna find out how's he been now, not gonna let whatever he do affect me now), and i know he'll only truly be happy DEEP DOWN HIS HEART if he's able to reconcile with God, and for me to find my True Love. + currently exploring Praying for others, my love ones, also will help me to expand my heart, my horizon, for more important things in life as well...

God's will be done. Amen.

Something to think and pray about this week..

2009-03-23T14:05:00.004+08:00

Long-term commitment whether in marriage, religious life or in other forms, is harder these days because of change. The loved one changes, and we change ourselves with time; so our relationships change. We cannot live our whole lives at concert pitch.

But when the tune changes, it need not be the end of the concert. It often is. In some countries half the marriages end in divorce. What is there in us that can survive the changes of time, and the up-and-down of living relationships?

As we look back at a jubilee, we see our commitment is at once richer and more painful than when we started. Faithfulness is a bit of a mystery and a marvel; it has a value in itself.

Faithful love builds up the one to whom we are faithful, expresses our hope in them. It is a grace, a gift: not so much what we do for God as what he does for us. It would make us feel humble, that in spite of all our inadequacies, we stuck it.

Adopted from http://sacredspace.ie/

In a Dating Mood!~*

2009-03-21T23:43:00.015+08:00

Am in a dating mood now!

Oh, maybe its just to recover from my out-of-love feeling..

But the prospect of finally wanting to meet my true love is actually...enticing..after a long day of thinking...it feels blissful to be able to love again.

Been praying alot lately...for my True Love to be revealed, like Victoria did!

Qns: Is the Lord gonna reveal it like Victoria's?

hmm...

Oh...i used to like Wu Zun kinda man... very gentlemenly, looks good (all the dream guys are good looking wah, that's why we call it a DREAM guy)!

But i dunno...he doesn't appeal to me anymore...

He's got the..."dunno what he wants in life" kinda look..

Its just me lah... to think that way..

When i was with Anthony, i used to refer him to Luo Zhi Xiang aka Xiao Zhu, type of guy.. because he's hardworking..always wants to get his job done to his best... so at the back of my mind...they looked similar...

He TOTALLY reminds me of Anthony...mischevious..funny man.. has his own little sad life also... etc.

And we both love the show, 《转角*遇到爱》 . That's why ...hmm.. "Xiao Zhu" symbol should be gone for now..

Recently i just watched 《我叫金三顺》！A Korean show, featuring Hyun Bin 玄彬 as the male lead. Maybe i relate myself as the female lead...so i like him! haha~~

He looks not too bad too! hunky, manly, responsible kinda guy.. abit childish sometimes, filial, and very devoted as well. And i LOVE the part where he always sweeps the heart of the female lead away. I mean, she's can be quite a fierce woman when she gets angry, demands her ways...but he takes the CAKE! ahhaAHAh~ All in the show only lah...

If my true love falls short of these expections of a handsome guy, its ok actually, but he must be of good character of course.. and very devoted as well. Hopefully a Catholic too!

A person with religious faith can be so enduring, charming! It eludes some sort of.. confidence~ very charming actually.

This posting, is sort of, to divert my attention away from SHOPPING..and also...to work hard..start looking out for the Hyun Bin in my life...

I'm in a dating mood now...anyone to recommend? ;)

O Lord,

Please bless me with my true love....please let me see in...at least in my dreams tonight..so i'll be able to discern who he is when he comes along..

Amen.

God bless him...

2009-03-21T00:27:00.006+08:00

I was told that he's got 2 ladies in his company who are interested in him now...

He never seems to be able to escape this "fatal attraction" of ladies towards him..This stupid "AH Bui" uncle, "Emo Kid"!..

Hope God will bless him to make the right decision, and follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit..

Heard that he's been on a buying spree as well...and i know how that feels, lately, when i am also going through this....

Just this week, I bought a crucifix keychain, a nail strengthener, an eyebrow kit, Catholic Digest, tonic hair-darkening shampoo and conditioner for dad, supplements for dad and mum, $180 worth of clothes... Its like...buying things is starting to become a focus, a daily goal in my life.

Its a feeling of emptiness at times, and we just want to find a focus in our lives... to live by..

So, everytime after gym at Amore, i'll walk all the way back from Woodlands civic centre, to the church, pray for a while, and walk back home... the journey seems like i'm walking with God, my soulmate...and it never fails to make me feel calm and safe...

Hope that Jesus will walk with him as well. Teach him and guide him... let him never lost hope in life...

May the Scared Heart of Jesus sanctify him, protect him and may the Immaculate Heart of Mary intercede thy prayers to our Lord...

Amen.

Life...

2009-03-20T02:25:00.014+08:00

去爱吧像不曾受过一次伤一样
跳舞吧像没有人欣赏一样
唱歌吧像没有任何人聆听一样
干活吧像不需要钱一样
生活吧像今天是末日一样

Love - like you have never been hurt
Dance - like no one has ever appreciated
Sing - like no one has ever listened
Work - as if money not compulsory for a living
Live - as if Today is the last day of our lives

I really miss him...
Hope God is always with him, protecting him, sanctifying him.

Amen.

BOREDOM

2009-03-20T01:30:00.003+08:00

I'm so bored...bored to the point of depression!! :..(

Went to Optimax to visit Pin, meet her for lunch today...

She did eye test for me too! My Left's degree of 100 and Right's 75. Yipee!! It went down from L150 and R100. haha~ And i realised it too. :=)

Also, while scanning my eyes, she noticed some deep stress lines..i've been relaxing all these while, so where did it come from?

Perhaps i'm paranoid.. after she told me...i began to sense the depression..from having NOTHING to DO!! And keep on shoppin' and shoppin' everyday!!! oh man.... :(

I need to do SOMETHING!!!...

I've just received the offer of appointment from MOE today. Told me to go for a briefing on...8 April '09!!

That's like 3 more weeks of BOREDOM!!!! I'm so DAMN BORED!! :..(

Gonna do something, MUST! i'll find something in church to do, or draft out some teaching materials from experience..or do some charity...

Bored bored BORED!!!

God please help me...get me into a secondary school that i fit into.. (hope its Westspring sec..)

In Jesus Christ most precious name,

Amen.

Sunset lovers...~

2009-03-19T17:24:00.008+08:00

Qn: What do Andrew and Daisy, Gerade and Suzanna, Jeffrey and Carol, Thomas and Jenny, Peter and Christine, Ronnie and Loretta (Neil's parents), My dad and my mum have in common?

Ans: They are sunset lovers...(maybe their love is in the sunrise stage! Who knows? *haha* ) Minus my parents, they are all Catholic-Christians. hehe~*

I got to know Andrew Daisy, Gerade Suzanna, Jeffrey Carol and Thomas Jenny while doing Alpha course in St Anthony Church. They are amazing people..every session, all the couples will be there. And Aunt Daisy once told me that, since young till old, Uncle Andrew will tell her "I love you" everyday without fail! =) And he's still doing it everyday... That is so sweet~

In our generation these times, most people don't believe in true love, and alot of friends around me have been lamenting on hard times, hard to find the right guy/lady of the life, hard to maintain relationships, scared of getting hurt, etc. ALMOST 98% are influenced by ALL the negatives of the World....WHY FOCUS on the Bad side? WHY NOT focus on the positives??

Getting ditched 4times by 3 guys, u know what? I haven't give up on my quest for a Good lasting Love relationship! Because, i'm seriously NOt afraid to fall. And each fall toughens me up. God's graces. I pick myself up and move on to my quest.. ;)

One thing for a fact is...

All these Old couples DIDN't MISS OUT the pains in relationship!!!

There are bound to be pains, hurts, compromises, along the journey of partnership..and these also strengthens the committments for each other, giving joy, peace, hope and Love along the journey..

Its like...learning to ride a bicycle. If you really want to learn it, be able to ride a bike properly, you must not be afraid of falling and hurting yourself. Once you fall, learn to get up, and get up fast and learn from the lesson! Ride the bike until you have truly LEARNT it and Ride on it properly! If you've never fallen YET, you will, someday.

==================================================================

Recently, i was thinking, Life is really REALLY SERIOUSLY DAMN F***KING SHORT!!

5 years down the road, 30 years old. If all goes well (GOD BLESS!!!), this is the plan...

Age:

28 - Should be able to have met the love of my life

30 - A new life: which may be stage 2. Get married, have your own apartment, family planning, allocate time between career, friends and family

31 - A newborn at home....before and aftermaths of pregnacy, allocate time between child, husband, friends and family, and our Faith (that's what will keep us growing together!)

32 to 35 - Stage 3: Caring for the toddler, education for them, and maintain our youthful looks and not going downslope... Career to be steadily climbing for my man.. Leisure and Recreation not to be forgotten..MUST have couple times, private times as well... Our faith will still be growing too!

35 to 45 - Stage 4: Kids to be moving towards teenage years. More MORAL education for them, so as not to follow the ways of the IMmoral world of today's times... teach them not to always believe TV ads and news, learn how to discern certain issues of the World... Still, i'm gonna have fun with friends and hubby! Maybe we can visit the kids during CCA, and rekindle sec school life! haaHA~*

45 to 55 - Stage 5: Watch the kids grow up, TAKE CARE OF OUR HEALTH! hehe~ parents get to slack abit and have private times with each other. Not forgetting to maintain "Friendship" with the kids, nurturing them.. plan our retirement with fellow old OLD friends (seriously, we cant be retiring with our children ard..haha~)

55 to 60 - Stage 6: CPF is out for us (might be, by then)! Maybe we can have a 20 yr plan on how to spend the money for retirement...travelling..slacking...fishing... go to church together and commit to the works of God..and it seems to be back to what we've always been doing for the first 20 years of life..Like a virtuous cycle. =) He must say "I love you" everyday as well.. :)

80 > - Stage 7: Hopefully, we are able to discern when our time will be up (God's graces, we pray forth), and let's live and leave together (no more than 1 month apart from each other)...to Heaven with God.

Well, this seems like a good draft for me. A sunset couple-wannabee! Looks like a hectic schedule too..

Am i been too hopeful or what? What if it doesn't work out the way i want it to be?

I hate dumb people who asks me stupid questions. Its just simple. I believe in True Love, and EVERYTHING that comes along with it, the pains, the joys, peace, hope and love. Do you believe?

Whether it works, I'll always pray for God's direction and guidance..

Amen! ;)

Prayers...

2009-03-18T04:04:00.004+08:00

Hmm..its 4.04am in the morning, and i can't get to sleep after watching 《我叫金三顺!》@ tudou.com. That website is the BEst ah! so speedy.. literally no loading time needed! No more Youtube.com. ahaa~ :)

Alot went through my mind recently...and just wanna blog it down, in case i forget in future..

Life's, actually quite short. Really short. In 5 years time, i'll be 30 yrs old. Like the female lead in the show, called 三顺. She's slightly on the Big side..i think over 65 kg at least, minimum 1.7m...30 years old..and got ditched right from the beginning of the show. And then, blar blar blar...story goes on...

What's worth mentioning abt her? hmm...i guess, its abt Timing.

At 30yrs old, getting ditched can be quite..pathetic..
"Market Value" is declining with every birthday celebration..being on the plus-side doesn't do her any better, but she's quite charismatic in her ways after all. She have dreams, to be the best baker in Korea. Having a goal, a vision in life, to look forward to, this is so mezmerising...

Having met the true love of her life @ 30years old is also..quite..hmmm....(shalt think of that now..) But anyway, whilst the story might be fictional, alot of people in reality do only get to meet their true love at a later stage of life. Perhaps the first 20-30years are experiences to better prepare us for holy matrimony...

If time is not ripe, things will never turn out fine..(whatever this statement means..its meaning may change in future, as i read up more and change my perspectives..)

Anyway, what i wished for my 25th birthday, and all my prayers for my Novena sessions, are all the same.. Wishes are like prayers for me now..and it'll all stay the same, until the miracles happen.
- That he will attend RCIA and go back to Christ..for God to lead him in his life and be blessed with the Gift of Wisdom and Discernment.
- That all my friends and their families will quit smoking and lead a healthy lifestyle.
- That my family will be healthy (especially my parents) and wealthy, financially and spiritually.
- That the Lord will reveal my true love, lead me to him, and may we learn from the ways of Jesus' life, grow old together in the Lord's guidance..

And sometimes, when i'm not forgetful, i will add on this..."May the Lord bless all my friends who are single and available, to find the true love of their life and guide them spiritually in their relationship journey.." heeeEEE~* :)

Also, lately, alot of miracles has been working in our church group also..really amazing..
As lots of stuffs shan't be discussed outside the group, i'll have to keep them anonymous.
A lady was having a bad time at work ever since the recession started, having to do what she didn't like to do (Sales! i don't really like it too!), and she really wanted to quit her job! BUT during this recession times, JOB PRESERVATION is the word.

For a long period of time, she prayed over it and there was no improvement for a long time..things were really going way out of hand and there was nearly a depression stage she had never experienced in her life.. She decided that it was too much for her. Finally, she told God, that it was too heavy a burden for her, and prayed for God to lift that burden away. As Christians, we know that, the Lord will not give us a burden we cannot handle. We prayed for her too..and recently, there was a reply from a company where she posted her resume to. To cut the story short, Out of 120 resumes, only 60-70 were screen through by the HR, and only 5 made it through the second interview, and she was the only one selected for a senior executive position! And her pay will be $1000 more than her previous job!

Alot of us in the same group also experience similiar things about our career as well. My friend recently got a pay rise which is at least double his income now, another was offered a higher pay from another company to hop over, and also having bonuses bigger than last year's is an EXTREMELY RARE case for this year's poor economy...and we all are experiencing and sharing our happy cases with each other only recently~ God's graces. =) We all will get caught up with bad times at some part of our lifes, and having no one really fitting to turn to, we turn to God (who will always be there for us, no matter what happens. As long as we believe).

Prayers keeps us sane, distracts us from the unnecessary worldly things in life, and allows us to focus...
When there are pains and sadness, i pray for love and time to heal from God, to stay sane and distract myself, to not do silly things anymore..
When there are obstacles and turbulences in life, i pray for safety and guidances from the Holy Spirit..and not do dangerous things that jeopardizes my life and reputation...and many more.

I think prayers really did, make me change abit. ABIT at least.
- I did my best to keep my mouth shut and stop making a nuisance with my mouthful of sarcastic words..and imgine how hurt others will have gotten..
- I start to think twice before doing anything reckless ( i am a VERY reckless person)
- I start to think twice about hurting the people i love (still not very good with that...I did hurt him deeply with my sharp words..)
- I get to be more patient now, whenever things don't work out the way i want it to be. I pray...and slowly, things will work out in one way or another. (e.g. I will get DAMN impatient when the mrt gets too long to arrive OR waiting for some friends for an hour or 2..and i'll pray, and think, what's the worst that can happen? LATE lor.And i'll just happily carry on with what i do..and anger just difusses away and the most amazing thing is, the rest of the day will always seem smooth-going~ ;D )
- I start to have a very good soulmate, whom i believe in, and whatever i share with him, confide with him, a sense of comfort will overwhelm me and make me feel safe. Thank you Lord, may i never lose you again.

Amen

AMORE!! What a discovery...~

2009-03-12T15:50:00.004+08:00

Wow... 3 days i spent in the gym... i felt my lungs alive again!

And suffering from muscle-aches now..the thighs especially...The classes can be really killers for beginners!!!

Really getting old and FAT! Oh man!

Went to this morning's session, a free 1 hr counsultation with the gym instructor. I realised that although my Body Mass Index(BMI) is on a healthy scale, my Skeletal Muscle Mass (SMM) is damn low!! Too less lean muscle..and my fat is too much!! I'm classified as obese!!

Overall, i need to build 5.8kg of muscles, and lose 6.8 kg of fats!!!

Diet per day cannot be more than 1500calories..
Here's a breakdown of a sample 1500cal diet plan...
Breakfast: 1 cup high fiber cereal + 1 cup soya milk + 1 fruit (about 280cal)
Lunch: Sandwich with 85grams Skinless Chicken or Turkey Breast or Tuna on 2 Slices of High Fiber Bread + 2 Cups of Salad Greens with Seasoned Vinegar + 1 Fruit (about 445cal)
Snack: 2 fruit (about 200cal)
Dinner: 170grams of Skinless Chicken Breast, Turkey Breast, or Fish; + 1 Cup of Brown Rice, Whole Wheat Pasta, or Starchy Vegetable; + 2 Cups of Steamed Vegetables; + Salad with seasoned vinegar; + 1 fruit (about 435cal)

Total: That's about 1360cal only.

Let's just forget about the above....and i'll just take Chlorella + Fiber... + miso soup and tofu..sounds more simple.. :P

DAMN all those suppers in the past...~
How to reach 50kg like that?...within another 8 days? I might as well give myself until the end of the month... :( must build the muscles healthily..

Regarding the lessons there, the classes are fun! And besides the yoga and pilates (My favourites!), there's also their signature BellyBlitz (Aerobics + Belly dancing,which requires Hipscarves with shimmery bling blings!) , CardioLatino (Aerobics + Samba, Rumba, Cha cha, Paso Doble and Jive elements)! So interesting...

And they've got their Kickboxing (very popular), PowerYoga (which is high-heat, high-energy workout), even Hip hop, Jazz, and MTV dances!!

No carbohydrates for me this month...i do my best to avoid...hahaa~~

Confessions of a Shopaholic!!!

2009-03-11T01:06:00.003+08:00

Oh My... I think i seriously need help...to abstain from shopping!!!

Over the last 2 weeks, i bought:
1) wallet ($26.10)
2) clutch bag ($17.10)
3) nice black hand bag ($23)
4) skipping rope ($10.80)
5) Gisele Bundchen sandal ($36)
6) black high heels ($25 + $15.80 for sole support stickers)
7) spa package with Subtle sense ..3 year installement ($36.60 per month), which adds up to nearly $105 per month!!!
8) Amore fitness 4 year session package... 2 year installement ($176.67 per month!!)

I'm so bad...and i'm intending to get a harddisk for my collapsing laptop this coming IT show at Suntec, more clothes when sch work starts,.... :..(
I have never shopped like this before!!! And i'm not working currently now..that's the problem.. :.. (
MOE reply please come faster...get me occupied with work....

*Sorry to Carine and April, i'll get my finance settled asap..

Must do self-reflection... God help me...

Need to lose some weight...~

2009-03-09T12:22:00.004+08:00

Ok...public declaration this time..

1) to motivate me, and

2) have pple ridicule me when i don't reach my goal..hahaa~

Promised myself, and also my ex before, that i will lose some weight!!!

(I still like to mention my dear ant alot..although i'm just one of his many ex girlfriends..haaha~ but he's a good man overall (minus the egoistic personality, the "He's greater than alot of pple" kinda mentality, the "I've gone through alot in life" perspective) ahahaaHaha~* )

He mentioned that i'm really getting abit too much fat (all thanks to their night suppers..and my inability to resist good food..haha~) He is also another "Ah-Bui". :P

5kg off by end of 20 March!

So i can go for my quarter century makeover shots..and fit into my clothes and jeans...they are not fitting now.. :(

Battle plan:

1) Amore fitness!

I have been wanting to join Cynthia long time ago, but found it too expensive...but i decided that i needed something to keep me busy, and not lazy too...

2) Skipping ropes!

Target to skip 1000 times per day....!!! 11 days to go!!

Skipping can tone up arms and mid section of your body, but not recommended for those with weak knees..

I bought it for $10.90!!! damn...i can be quite a big spender...

End result: Wanna tone up flabby arms and thunder thighs (damn, i'm shameless! hahaaa~~), have some abs definition...hahha~~ And i wanna weigh 50kg at max.

Jiayou!!! :P

Ladies ways of the World! :P YippEe~*

2009-03-06T16:37:00.003+08:00

Woohoo!!

Got myself an ozozo wallet and an ozozo clutchbag! All under $50 total! ;)
So happy.. And look what's written on the clutch bag..."Looking Good is the Best Revenge"! ahaAHahaA~~* That silly ant is gonna regret it one day, hope he's regretting everyday. >:P (hahaa~ not bare grudges lah...mentioned for fun..)

Although they're not the pricey Louis Vuitton and Coach bags, but they're just niffy and nice, and its a sec school, high sch girl's dream to own them, back then, in my time. hahaA~

Comtemplated quite a long while before getting it, cos they have crystals on it...hate it when it falls off. Nonetheless, the sales lady told me that they have services to repair. So, its comforting afterall.

Next on my list....a bigger bag! To go to school with, able to contain my 1 litre water bottle and A4 size documents. Having Tangs voucher! Gonna go scouting @ Tangs soon! ;)

The ways of the World..or the Ways of God.

2009-03-05T15:33:00.006+08:00

Colossians 2:8 [Warning against False Teachers]

See to it that no one captivate you with an empty, seductive philosophy according to human tradition, according to the elemental powers of the world and not accroding to Christ.

Colossians 2:20 [Practices Contrary to Faith]

If you have died with Christ to the elemental powers of the world, why do you submit to regulations as if you were still living in the world?..

It is easy to be misguided by the so-called "teachers", seduced by any of the examples given:

1. Pre-marital sex (your friends had sex before, so you follow them, your friends smoke, ALL OF THEM SMOKE, and you give in to temptation,

2. Divorce (Divorce rate very high...those stupid media always reporting about it..Nothing good but most of the time bad...Must you believe marriage is a dead trap?? NEVER get married??!!)

3. Masturbation (friends do it, so it NORMAL to do it? Well i never know it until friends told me...i dunno about guys lah.. >:P)

4. Extra-marital affairs (so dramatic and sensationalised by drama serials...~ mindless man and woman..not being faithful...not knowing how to handle problems together...)

5. Unnecessary indulgences, trapped in the money-oriented world,climbing the ranks of the coperate World, Fame, etc...

These are simply, The ways of the World.

*That's why i hate the media...the way they sensationalised things, makes people FOCUS on the wrong things..more sex, more violence, it is NO DOUBT pple move towards these ways of the World...why aren't there more advertisements and serials on moral educations?

It is emphasized, in the 2 passages above, to not give in to the ways of the world.

Learn to discern, with not just your minds, but your heart as well, Who is the Right teacher for you?

These can be exemplifed by the concrete signs of Love.

Someone in a concrete place, having experienced alot in life (that satisfies my heart). If my heart does not find the soulmate, then, temptations will find their way into my heart instead.

Once we have the Centre, everything else falls in place.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, what is the ways of God?

It is easy to say JESUS, but do you KNOW Jesus?

If we want to know more about Jesus, we must understand ourselves first.....

Mark 10: 17-22 [The Rich Young Man]

17 As he (Jesus) was setting out on a journey, a man ran up, knelt down before him, and asked him, "Good teacher, what must i do to inherit eternal life?"

18 Jesus answered him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone.

19 You know the commandments: ' You shall not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not bear false witness; you shall not defraud; honour your father and mother.'"

20 He replied and said to him,"Teacher, all of these I have observed from my youth."

21 Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him, "You are lacking in one thing. Go, sell what you have, and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven: then come, follow me."

22 At that statement, his face fell, and he went away sad, for he has many possessions.

The words "Follow me" signifies giving up, letting go, of the Worldly things in life, and follow your teacher. I am not saying that you desert all your possessions, and become a nun or priest. I am just saying that, you can have it, and when you don't have it, its alright, and you don't have to run after it.

This is like my life philosophy, which i've been mentioning...

"Happiness and Contentment consists not of great wealth, but few needs."

And i've found a true, good teacher, someone who i can trust on and who will never perish.(Alrighty!! I love that! And it is blind faith that i have...since billions have believed in him over 2000 centuries..)

And the ways he taught, is of Love.

He's like a soulmate to me now, and everything else falls in place..

No matter what happens, may i never lose my God, ever again.

Amen.

I'm dry...but i wanna write so much things!.....

2009-03-05T01:41:00.004+08:00

Ran out of ideas what to write lately...
ALot of things actually..just..finding the right words to put it out in writing..

Learnt from my guy previously..he's a very sensitive person, so i learnt NOT to say things i don't mean to...sometimes i get really get so hard on words, ON purpose, just to let the other person understand how i felt.

I've always taught people about empathy, but i can get so unkind with words too...

Anyway, will write in tomorrow afternoon, hopefully..Will be in church then! :)

I wanna write abt..God, about Love, about Life slacking and waiting for my vocation to came for me..wanna get an combinational mircowave, conventional, grill oven, get a new wallet that fits me, a nice bag that is easy to carry and use AS A teacher, get a driving license as well! So much things!! ... Life's great and hopeful. =)

God bless.
Amen.

Beauty! 女人我最大！

2009-02-25T00:02:00.006+08:00

These days... besides doing usual church stuffs, reading, slacking and minding my own business with my guy and friends...i got into.. BEAUTY CRAZE!

My friend, Joyce, recommended me to use Nivea body lotion every night before sleep. And add 2-3 drops of Olive oil and mix it, because olive oil helps absorbsion better. Her aunt, who is in the beauty line, swears by it! And although she's hitting her 50's, her skin is still as smooth as a young lady! Wow!! Must be diligence in following daily beauty routines now.. hehe~*

As i wanted my skin to become fairer, i choose Nivea Night Whitening Milk. Smells great too! And i think over the past 1 month, my skin is REALLY getting smoother! Especially my wrinkly hands! Although i'm coming 25, i have premature-ageing hands..so sad...But I tink the 2 combinations really works wonders!!!

Not exactly beauty crazy...but having MJ now in Korea... I SURE AM CRAZY NOW!! i started looking into Korea beauty items (because he's there, and i think i might be much much cheaper to get it there than buying in Singapore.hehe~*)!!

Wanted him to help me get the price list of the following items:

Laneige Hydra Solution cream, Laneige Hydra Solution Essence, Laneige Water Bank Essence, or Laneige Water Sleeping Pack. Plus some FACEshop items as well!! Of course, not forgetting that i will still diligently use Eumora facial spa bar..ITs heavenly combination! + i have supplies that can last a lifetime (provided it REALLY don't expire.) haha~

Hitting the BIG 25!...so...I wanna age gracefully. :)

Amen

What do sufferings signify about God?

2009-02-16T23:50:00.001+08:00

A few weeks in Alpha group..I asked Uncle Andrew.. "Where will my parents go to, if they were to pass away?" They are non-Christians, they do not know about Jesus, and they have bad impression of Church because of uneducated evangelizers ..Basically, they do not know about God, but they know how to pray for our whole family's wellbeing.

Uncle Andrew told me, "If they are good people, they will go to heaven. It is as simple as that. God is kind. "

Another day, another friend, whose friend's dad passed away a few days ago, talked to me about salvation. She mentioned..."He is not with Lord. He did not receive salvation.." Does she mind he's not a good person??

This statement left me very troubled and disturbed. For the next few days, I was confused...

Aren’t kind people deserved to be blessed and go to heaven?

I wondered what on earth did I learn about God...

When I went to RCIA session last week, the lesson was with Fr Bruno. Coincidentally, he talked about this topic on ..." Did God make us suffer?"
There are several Theologies ('Theo'=God, 'logy'=logic), which means different interpretations of the Bible...(now I’m starting to understand why Christian fight amongst themselves...)

1) Did God bring us sufferings? Did God send sufferings to punish us?
From what we read in the Bible, it is how people interpret about God back few thousands years ago.

For example, the Noah’s Ark, in Genesis 6 - 9. This is the Retribution Theology.
Men do evil things. Men sin against God. That’s why God send the great flood to punish the people. The people back a few thousand years ago, interpreted the great flood as God’s sign of punishment.

However, if we see in Exodus 20:13, it says “You shall not kill”. This is the first of the 10 Commandments. Will God set a bad example to us, by killing people?

This leads to the next question..
2) Did God allow killing for better good?

How can God demonstrate killing for the greater good? Every human life is scared. How can God kill thousands of people in the great tsunami in year 2004? This concerns the Theology of the all powerful God, the controlling God. If God is powerful and almighty, how can Jesus die?

God did not send Jesus, his only begotten son to die for us.
God sent Jesus to claim us, to redeem us. And He knows that by sending Jesus down to earth, he will die, because the earth is full of evil people. Nonetheless, God still did it, because he loves us so much...

James 1: 13 “No one experiencing temptation should say, “ I am being tempted by God”; for God is not subject to temptation to evil, and he himself tempts no one.”

Hebrew 12:16 “For whom the Lord loves, he disciplines; he scourges every son he acknowledges.”

Don’t the 2 verses contradict themselves?
In the Letter of James, God will not set himself as a bad example to his people. He will not do what he doesn't want his people to do. Whereas in the Letter to the Hebrews, God will discipline and punish his people.

HOW TO READ THE BIBLE LIKE THAT????
The Bible is written by people inspired by God, but it really made me confused for a while…

Fr Bruno then told me….perhaps we can consider the next Theology…
3) God limits his power for our freedom.

Because when God made us, he gave us free will.

In Luke 15:11-32 (The parable of the Lost Son) this is also my favorite parable!!!!!
“Then he said, “A man had two sons, and the younger son said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of your estate that should come to me.’ So the father divided the property between them….” So after a long story, the son repented and returned to his father and was forgiven.

In the historical Greek bible, the word used for estate was “ousia” which means being. The word for property was “bios” which means life. The whole sentence means, “Father, give me the share of your being that should come to me. And the Father divided his life between them.”

God limits himself/ his life for our lives.

Bible interpretation can be risky, therefore it is important to read the Bible as a community. The life of Jesus is an important criterion to Bible interpretation. E.g. How Jesus loved his people, how he gave up his life to redeem us sinners. With reference to Jesus' life, even though some of the 6 billion people may not know God, I choose to believe that good people will also be saved by God.

Jesus’ the answer to sufferings. That’s what God send him down for.
We are invited to God and Jesus’ relationship, and also, to be answers to sufferings. The more we pray, the more we are attuned to God and Jesus. Prayers signify the going back to God.

Humans always go for the easy way out…to blame God for all sufferings..
What makes people in the olden days to think that only God can bring sufferings? All the more we should fight back against all evils and pray for God’s assistance.

“God’s greatness is not outside our limits, but in the decision to come inside our limits, in order to enlarge them.” (J. Moingt)

God’s greatness comes not in external: Control, but from the internal: Love.

In conclusion, what I have simply read about God these short few weeks, no matter what retarded theology are thrown to my face, I have choose to know God as, not the Almighty God as I have always perceived him to be, but One who has the greatest love of all. He does not control, he gives free will to all.
Such is the Greatness of Love, the Power of Love.

Amen.

I accidentally deleted 25 past blog posts..haha~

2009-02-16T23:49:00.000+08:00

I think its ...God's will?
Forget the past...hehe~
I repost the latest ones..

Reaffirmation of my dream...

2008-09-16T22:42:00.003+08:00

What i pray my last guy in my life will be...

Have passion for life.
Be there to adore and care for me. Be there whenever i need him. Really love me for who i am.
Friendly guy to know, so my close friends can generally accept.
Willing to change for the better. Not stubborn. Good EQ.
Be investment savvy. Knows how to manage finance.
A determined guy. Once he sets to start something, he will not give up and pursues to the end.
Healthy guy without much bad habits.( I can tolerate drinking, but not smoking and clubbing.) [I give up on this, because i fell deeply for someone who did smoke..]
Loves to hear me talk, appreciates whatever i do for him. [He is one guy who really LISTENS to me, although he sometimes doesn't absorb it...haha~* but I LOVE him for that =) ]
Understands his priorities in life, values and beliefs.
Have faith and hope for life.

And also, be able to overcome the fear of committment. Because i fear too. And I want to be able to overcome this fear, and start with a man willing to go through this together.

I pray for a man who will want to go through the thick and thin with me...and be able to commit to a relationship that we promise each other to have faith for each other, and never let go of each other, never sacrifice our relationship, and be there for each other..till our dying day..

A Promise...to deep lasting relationships..

2008-09-16T00:00:00.002+08:00

Fear is Love's greatest obstacle, and most of the time, Love's greatest secrets teaches people how to overcome fear. The fear of rejection, the fear of stupidity and the fear of failure.

When a person is unable to promise a commitment in a relationship, it is bound to fail.

I believe that when we desire love, we must be able to conquer fear and also, willing to commit into a relationship, promising each other.

The lack of promise is a common problem in this society (with bad experiences in love, family, previous relationships,etc) ,and of course, when one experienced rejection, pain, he/she will naturely avoid the same thing happening again.

When one's fear becomes greater than the desire for love, they retract into a world of loneliness, darkness, dullness.

There are always the highs, the lows, the ups and downs in a relationship.
And whenever a relationship hits the rocks, only the promise to each other will be able to keep it alive.

If a couple were to experience unhappiness in the relationship, and one hinted a breakup, sooner or later, it is bound to end.

Why? Because they have treated the relationship like a scarifice. They never treated the whole relationship seriously. They have never prided the relationship as a priority.

For a relationship to be successful, one must place the other in priority or an important position. Even more important than career or wealth. To put it simply, a break up will never be considered. No matter how sever the quarrel may be, none should threaten a breakup. If the thought were to ever surface, it will surely bring up a chaos to the relationship.

The meaning of a promise is, no matter how difficult the situation may seem, giving up is not an option.

Sometimes, its only that we have never give a promise, that's why we give up so easily.

Everyone desires love and relationships. But the real issue is, how much promise have you given to love? How much promise have you given yourself?

A promise identifies whether a relationship is strong or weak...
A promise is a test to true love...
When a person has given a promise, he/she has no right to give up, and will chose to fight on to make things work out.
If anyone were to desire a long lasting and deep relationship to work out, a promise is of utmost importance..

The day i've earn my guy's promise, that'll be the day that a deep lasting relationship begin, and i swear with all my heart and soul that this will be forever...

Passion of the Christ

2008-09-15T23:50:00.001+08:00

Watch The Passion of the Christ with dear at his place on sunday... (28 July '08)

Truely heartbreaking and touching to watch... A very thorough depiction of what happened to Jesus...

It was a very nice show....and i forgot that i left this blog unfinished...
All i can remember now is.. Dear cried with his back faced me...Not a romantic person, but a very sentimental guy..

He always looked so strong..defensive sometimes...
But deep down...i just wanna hold him tight and make sure i'm there when he needed somebody...

A nice walk at the park...~

2008-09-14T00:48:00.003+08:00

We talked together...and i felt so much better now~

We took a stroll at Woodlands park.. it was an amazing walk and we settled at a cosy place..

Its a day before Mid Autumn Festival. Its was peacing and sweet~ I loved tonight.

Will never forget tonight... It was the great evening we spent.

I told him a story...

"A lady had a terrible break up from his boyfriend. Her guy dumped her, she was devastated, and had a terrible period trying to cope with the loss. She tried all means and ways to attempt to get him back to her side, but it all failed...

One day, she wondered to the park, attempting to nurse the pain in her heart. A Chinese Old man was sitting beside her. He took out a bag of bread crumbs out of his pocket and started to throw on the ground, attracting alot of pigeons to fly down and eat.

It was a lovely and peaceful sight. The Chinese Old man asked the lady, "Do you like these birds?" She replied, "Not really..." The old man started his story,

"When i was much younger, i had a friend who used to own alot of beautiful pigeons. Everyday, he will bring out his cages of pigeons, display it for fellow villagers to see and feed them publicly. He felt proud to own such beautiful, strong looking pigeons and he declares great love for these birds that he painstakenly groomed.

I was puzzled. Really puzzled.... i thought for a long while...and asked this friend.

"If you really loved these pigeons, why didn't you set them free?""

I never felt anything much abt this story until today...

So today, i choosed to set him free, because i really love him. And i know he loves me too.
One day, our paths might cross together and till then, i will tell him that i'm ready for our future together.

P.S: I Love you, Anthony my love.

A nice break...~

2008-09-10T23:22:00.003+08:00

Having a break now~
Packed my time with friends, and i'm imaging myself jumping onto him after this week!

We've been close together for a long 4 months, sticking almost everyday go home after work (during my days at Biomedia), going jamming during weekends, going fishing with Mitch and Neil, etc.

Maybe this next 1 week will give a good restart to our engines!
I'm looking forward to a beautiful beginning again. New romances, new excitements! :D

I remembered Grace, a lady friend who is going over to the States soon with her husband for work for the next 2 years, once told me her story..

She had been together with her bf (now husband) for over the past 6 years (that was 3 yrs ago when she said this). They were together since JC times.
Been through the guy's 2 years army times, separated while one was away for overseas studies for 2-3years, almost called the relationship off for more than a year ago, and now, they are happily married.

How did they do it? I do not know...its for me to find out. And i want to find out.
I believe that i've come into this relationship, having in mind to bring happiness into this man that i love, for the rest of his life. And he's done so much for me now, i felt i haven't put in enough.

If i didn't do well, i am sorry and i'll do better and be more conscious, self-aware of whatever i'm doing. First thing,.. i must let go of my ego... haha~ TO REALLY SERIOUS think of it, i do sound hateful when i actually listen to what i said. ahahAAHAa~~*

SooOOoOOOOoo NOT USED to life now without him.... :(
But i must learn how to be independent... *grumbles*

Where is my dear?....

2008-09-10T00:43:00.002+08:00

I'm learning how to be independent...but still... i miss him...

*grumbles*

FRIENDS OUT TIME !!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-08T23:49:00.006+08:00

Since the guy's leaving me alone for unknown period of time to have his cavetime, i'll start on FRIENDS OUT TIME!!!!

Tuesday meet Cynthia at cwp
Wednesday meet Weilin at AMK
Thursday meet KL, WeiJie and people for dinner
Friday meet Joyce, Lihui and Lynn for Joyce's birthday at Chinatown
Saturday meet Jiawei for a jog at Dairyfarm estate if he's free
Sunday morning go 9.15am or 11am Church mass, later stay home or meet friends to go swimming, or go jogging at Dairyfarm estate again. Train up for marathon.
Where's my pin pin? ah lah...wait till she's free...

Was really getting pissed by the cavetime....totally no contact.. but must get used to it. Luckily i asked Jiawei what's it abt.. else i've blown myself up in frustration.

Jiawei also practices this caveman instinct, ALL THE TIME! So he told me how his ex-gf used to do...just leave him alone. And his girl will also leave him alone and enjoy their own life. Hmm...its better to see it in another person's perspective, so i'll not be so biased in my judgement.

He tells me that, he does the caveman aloner kinda shit all the time, needs time alone, and others are potentially irritating, and he doesn't want to step on people's toes, so he slams his door at everyone who tries to get near him during this "PMS" (Preventive Maintenance Sessions) to keep him in sane.

Yup, sounds like what my guy is too!

The secret to Happiness - Decision

2008-09-08T01:25:00.005+08:00

hmm.. this is an important blog that i want to make, at this wee hours of the night, 1.30am on monday midnight..

Its about one of the secret to happiness, The Power of Decision.

I realised that, most parts of my life, i've been quite a happy young lady, because i make fast, decisive decisions. Some parts of my life which i am not happy(but have passed) are countable, such as:

Staying in NUS Computing and not changing faculty (the past now,i'm benefiting from the certificate anyway)
My first 2 relationships (yup yup, Dear if you happen to read it, dun be sad. its all in the past now. We're happy now! :D )
Incurring huge investment debts. (now repaying monthly, but i dun look back and regret now. Be forward looking.)

What else? I can't remember, because i decide that they are too minor, choose to not remember and be happy. hehe~ :)

Recent events, such as my career from Citibank to Biomedia Holdings and to the now BNP Paribas, also from old WBG to now SAB (mainly dormant and serving as IT assistant), although there are unhappy events, i decided to make the best out of situations and be happy with it.

About my career

Citibank: I'm glad i survived 8 mths, knowing that i wouldn't have the prospect of being promoted to permanent staff as Citibank was already cutting cost and getting poly grads instead of uni grads. I was not happy with the working style, which consists of mainly VERY routine daily task...check credit card, check their credit history, approve credit cards. Life was utterly boring and i know there's no prospect to it. During the 8 months, i made life happy, by deciding to have fun and enjoyment during work. I had one of the most happy times with my colleagues, Lihui, Lynn and Joyce. This is how i decide to be happy.

Biomedia Holdings: I came to this company, knowing that i want to work for a SME for a while, to understand abt the culture etc. I have stayed for 3 months. Life was happy, with dear working at another department, and life was fulfilling (doing marketing, logistics, operations, project management, it all add colors to my resume) until it came to a point whereby cold callings have to be made, and i'll be the only one doing it. I decided that, this job is not for me. (this decision here is not a very good one..i was too impulsive to quit suddenly..but i have already sensed that they rather employ 2 malaysians with 1 person's salary..so its a sooner or later kinda thing) Hmm...sux to be in a small dept.

So, i risked the chances of quiting the job and spoiling my resume and career chances, but i still choosed to. Why? Simply because i know my value, and i can still get better jobs out there. I decided to not look back, go all the way out to get a good job out there.

While my ex-collegeaues waited for job agencies to get back to them and waited for months, i got my current job within 3 days. Why? Because i decided that i want a job ASAP. I sent numerous resumes, and followed up with the agencies. I want the job, i ran after them and not waiting for them to call me back. I decided to be pro-active.

BNP Paribas: Its quite a good bank, from france. and i'm in the compliance dept now. To make life happier, i decided to even get my ex-collegeaue, Joyce to join me! That's current life now. For now, compliance seems rather interesting, and i'm still exploring. Enjoying being the policewomen of a bank now, and i decided to stay until they sack me, or at least the next 2 years (unless unforseen major circumstances arises). This will look better on my resume in future.

SAB: Decision to become dormant was tough as well, because i've let down a couple of people, like Arthur, Jet and Serene and Pin, but i have no regrets. I choose to live with it. and make the best out of this choice! And i still help out with their IT side.

I believe that other than making the best and choosing to be happy, FOCUS is also very important.

BAND: I've always wanted to be part of the band coaching team...and have always talked about it again and again, not being realistic that the money is not gonna sustain me for long...so now, i have decided that i'll put it on hold, until i have at least a decent $20k in my account.

LIFE: I decided that i will marry when my account is at least a decent $100k before i get married, as i want a more wealthy family to begin with, not letting future children suffer.

What i am going to say is...PROFOUND.

Usually people need to know that it is...PROFOUND, or else people wouldn't know that it is PROFOUND.

Its quite simple to think this way below...NOT too diffcult.

***If you have decided to be responsible, to stay in a company that you have no passion anymore, FOCUS on the things that you still enjoy (the company of the people, your workers, etc). Having time to feel sad, feeling uncomfortable in the job simply means that you HAVE NOT DECIDED to be happy and HAVE NOT FOCUS on the happy elements in the job.

***If there's nothing to be happy about, or VERY hard to find any, MOVE ON.

***If you decide that moving on is not the option, DECIDE to stay for the remaining days/months, and STOP thinking about negatives! FOCUS on finding the good things on the job.

***If you are STILL unhappy and you have already (think) that you have focused on the good stuffs and cannot find, it simply means......... you HAVE NOT DECIDED to stay, because you have not done your best to find the good things on the job.

***If you want to be happy, look forward! Be forward looking! Can start deciding which is a good company to go to, look at their company profiles, build up a good looking resume, retake resume photos, check out the good job lobangs, there's so much GOOD THINGS to look forward to! Why bother looking backward? No time to waste on bad stuffs.

That's all for the night of grumbling...nitez!

Thank you for loving me...~

2008-09-05T01:25:00.005+08:00

This post is delicated to dear Ant...

A week ago, a friend, feeling troubled by BGR issues, asked me... What must a man do to make his lady feel loved?

I'm not gonna give any psychology explaination for this part...just by gut feel...
This question is profound. This time, i really give it a long thought. How did he made me feel loved?

When i was in teenage years, young and innocent, i used to think that material stuffs are able to make a basic judgement of how much your guy loves you. If he is willing to go all out, earn some money and buy you a good necklace, buy you some flowers, that shows some very basic level of love. (I am NOT that materialistic, but i'll still love a good piece of jewel. hahhaAH~*~)

However, Ant did not buy or give me anything or do anything romantic, 4 months into our relationship.

No flowers, no jewel, not much gai-gais (we are quite homely and only go jammings and friend's place), no love notes, no romantic smses, not much couple outings, no traveling to malacca, and alot of things guys will do, he will NOT do...

And the best thing is, i didn't realise it until this friend of mine reminded me!! ahahaAAHaha~~*

But my friend also reminded me of something.

Why do i think this time, Ant loved me more than any other guys in my life? (including our first relationship back in 2000)

Ant's not a romantic person, so i got used to it.
However, there's always the little little things that he do, which really sends me over the moon..

He likes to kiss me on my forehead (mainly because i'm much shorter than him)
He searches for me when i get lost (sometimes makes me feel good to be damsel in distress..ahha~ that doesn't sound too good to do)
He always tells me the truth whenever he thinks he did something wrong (he'll make sudden confessions. ahhaha~*)
He cares for his family, and makes me feel he will be a good man to be with, for life.
His eyes when he looks at me. Completely different compared in yr 2000. i feel appreciated and looked after.
He worries too much for me sometimes, but i still like it. haha~*
He gave me the key!!!
He shares his work life with me. Makes me feel like a good friend. :)
He gives me good massages when i am suffering from backache.
He thinks about spending quality time going out with me,even though he's tired and worn out at times.
And more...

Sometimes i do get angry with him. However, remembering these little things makes a world of difference. Its all about the simple things, little things that normally people will overlook, which made me see the difference with him. He made me feel precious.

P.S: I Love You. :)

12 things that you should avoid if you want good sex

2008-08-30T02:24:00.003+08:00

Once again! Copied from Yanni's blog postings which will definitely benefit people...here's it.

(This is for guys in long term relationship only, not applicable to honeymoon period, single guys or those 1 night stand scenario)

According to Dr Chuck Spezzano, sex is not about the action, it is about the process and the energy. However, let’s put those complicated psychologies aside, just want to put in simple words, to help those guys that always get rejected by his partner at night or every night his partner complaints having a headache or stomachache. Also, to give the girls a break, from having to have headaches every night.What you should take note of;

1. Body odour ( pls check your mouth, armpit, chest, feet and especially the part that sticks out ), for most women, hygiene is a must have and the best turn off is some unbearable smell. Who wants to make love to a smelly fish?

2. Ask for sex ( never never never never ask your partner over the dinner or supper “Honey, shall we do it later?” If you are already in the bedroom and you still asked, then something must be wrong in your brain. 8 out of 10 times you asked, I assured you, the immediate answer is no, or if your partner is more polite, she will tell you she’s too tired or having some pain somewhere. ) Frankly I still don’t understand why, but we women really don’t like our partner to ask for sex, maybe deep down, we feel that by answering yes, we might become a slut or not so innocence and pure anymore. Btw, since young, all mothers tell their girls to say no if guys ask them for sex, so an automatic rejection mode will be activated in that situation.

3. Too needy ( if you display too strong a need, it’s major turn off )

4. Only interested in sex, nothing but sex ( woman need to feel love in order to engage in sex. If you don’t show interest in her feelings, not communicating with her emotionally, you just put her in sacrifice even if she does it with you. Please, make love, and not have sex.)

5. Your hands go straight to the vital parts ( please lah, men always imposed their likings to their partner, and thought this is the best way to arouse a woman, big mistake. If you go straight to the sensitive part before your woman relax, you will make her feel violated. As a partner, please find out where to touch to relax your woman, you will be surprise that sometimes it could be the hand, neck or even the back. A girlfriend ever told me that she loves it when a man holds her hands and caressing it for hours. )

6. No show of appreciation for your partner’s body.

7. Only interested in getting the job done.

8. Stingy in compliments ( woman loves it when her man compliment her, and with creativity and sincerity.

9. There a things that should not be discuss on bed, unless you want to turn her off – parents, money,work,politics, gossips, criticize her, children and any other serious stuff. Suggests you can start a conversation on those early honeymoon dating time, the holidays you had together and the places 2 of you want to go in the future, talk about wine, food, leisure (but not golf unless she’s a golfer too).

10. Do not make love with a hidden agenda – to conquer her, to express your anger, to let go of stress, to make baby….Please, only one agenda in love making, communication of love.

11. Let go of your performance!!!! Stop asking “how are you feeling….how am I doing….” Just shut up, let her relax and enjoy. Trust me, if your partner can still give you scores like the judges in Star Search, you’re in deep trouble.

12. Don’t go straight to do washing right after the action. Try your best to admire her body even after the action when you are dead tired. Show appreciation. If need so, walk her to the washroom. Don’t sleep before her and left her thinking “ so sex is all he wants?”

Guys, if you can avoid all of the above, basically you should have a better love life, of course, paying more attention to the ladies during the day and been more sensitive could score you a lot more points before you hit the night. ( Girls, if you happened to be reading now, for your happiness sake, stop rejecting your partner if he is your long term partner. Of course if you insist not to get intimate before marriage, that’s totally fine and should be respected. Just don’t use sex as a weapon against you partner)

If you tried all of the above and still got rejected, maybe there’s a few reasons ;

a. She has either a conscious or sub-conscious judgement against sex

b. She’s in a power struggle with you

c. She felt bored about your same old style…..zzzzzz…..so boring, where are the wines, chocolates, flowers, sweet kisses, adoring eyes?

d. There’s a unconscious sexual guilt ( which is common among women all over the world )

e. You’re the father of her children, and she started calling you daddy.

f. Etc etc etc….

Anyway, whatever it is, please have patience. If you’re a pair of committed couples, you have many years to understand and explore each other. Give love and support in terms of sex, as usually women are very shy about this issue, and very rare that they are willing to seek for help.

Wish you all the best , with Love. Yanni

That's all for now! Till next time with good postings from Yanni!

Secret Collection (aka 人生四大秘密) by Adam J. Jackson

2008-08-21T00:40:00.003+08:00

Recently started to read on this book...

i wanted to get the english version, which have ended publishing for a long time already. There are 4 volumes to this book, "Secret Collection aka 人生四大秘密" by Adam J. Jackson.

The 4 volumes are:

10 Secrets of Abundant Love

10 Secrets of Abundant Happiness

10 Secrets to Abundant Health

10 Secrets to Abundant Wealth

And you know what?

Each part is sold differently, and the value of this english version is very high!! A part costing Euro50-90 dollars!!! That's like..SGD $100 - $200 per book!!! Really valuable book...

This series of Adam J Jackson's books are really very good...and currently, i'm reading the chinese version, which is 4 volumes combined into 1. It's hard for me now, cos i don't usually read Chinese books already. But since it is a whole lot cheaper (with free ebook downloads online), i can live with it. One day, i'll get my hands on the english version... :)

This is really a good book, highly recommended to all. :)

Subsquently, i will post up good readings on the contents of the book (with ugly translation by Annie!)

Kelong Acheh @ Mersing (09-10 August 2008)

2008-08-11T12:04:00.014+08:00

We started off at 4.30am, getting ready, take our morning kopi, tea, and set off toward the Causeway. The causeway was abit jammed, so the guys had a good "swearing time" in the car, to past time to get to Mersing. Takes 3 hours to travel! And thank God we have Neil around, who doesn't mind driving 3 hrs non-stop.

Our destination is Kelong Acheh, one of the four Kelongs in Mersing (i heard its 4..correct me if i'm wrong. We may be the fifth in future. hhaAHa~~*) The kelong stay is only 150RM, plus minus, i only spent about 200RM for the whole trip! afforadable and nice~

We had Breakfast at a chinese food centre at Mersing, then set off towards Pemboyang, near the jetty location. We thought from Mersing town itself to the jetty is quite near, but it actually took us another 20-30 mins!! Check out the photos below... :)

You know what this photo signifies??

Something is coming.....

Cows....and very skinny ones (unlike New Zealand and Australia)..poor thing.. And we're doing our best to avoid their piles of shit on the road..

The Bridge towards "Jetty @ Mersing" And yah! That's my dear Anthony!

Mitch, typing away while i clicked my handphone camera..~ This photo is sceneric and peaceful...

That's Neil, and he's emo-position. hahAAHa~ i feel like getting a SLR camera!!! damn the scenery is nice! And Neil brought his camera, WITHOUT his SDcard!! That's why he's feeling emo... ahhaAAHa~~*

Anthony. :) I thought he brought a sunglass, but i forgot its his transition lense. Wow~ He really put it to good use this time. :D

Schools of fishes that we caught most of the time..too small..like nasi lemak fish. So we didn't keep it...
That's the Kelong worker, fishing out the pile of small fishes, called taman. There's a type of hooks, called taman hooks, that are used to catch them, and use them to be baits for BIG fishes.

They get attracted easily to the taman hooks, by the shiny looks of it and without any baits. That's why the guys calls them, stupid fish.

That guy is fishing them out, so people on the kelong can use them to be live baits.

The live baits..so sad..most of them get dried up when no one comes to take them....hope they got a better next life.
That's our room, with a high security door. Needs alot of strength to slid them open, and very noisy when anyone tries to do that. haaAHah!~~
Anthony, slacking outside of our room to take cover from the blasting sun. Hot afternoon, and the guys are sunburnt.

He's actually trying to fish through that small hole outside our room!! Big enough for small fishes to go in. hahaHA~*

Lunch! Not that fantastic..got fried squid, vege, seasame seed oil chicken and potatoes, soup and tomato sauce fish. i'm starting to take seafood already (so that i dun feel weird while having meals with close friends), but i'm not ready to take white or red meat at all. And i dun think i want to take them either. I compromised on taking seafood and meat soup already, huge compromise to make, and i'll just stop there...So pls dun ever try to make me eat meat non other than seafood again.
Nice photo, with no one guarding the rods. No BIG catches are spotted by anyone. We are considering getting a boat rented next time :) Its only 700RM for 2 days! If split by 4-6 persons, its only about 120 -175 per pax! We can bring our own food, and sail out to the sea! nice!

Beautiful~ That's during the sunset. About 6.30pm.

Ant asked me to jio a few friends, like Cynthia or whoever wants to experience fishing, so that next time i wouldn't feel bored also. He wants "guy time only" as well. hahaHA~ actually i'm quite ok on my own, he just worries abit too much. hahaAaH~*

Another one! Lovely~ SLR camera will be better!

This is our room. Alot of space, as it accomadates a big group.

In the Kelong, the groups stays together in a room, because the place in NOT a hotel. Can roughly accomadate not more than 10-15 groups.

Also, there's no electricity before 6.30pm, as they need to turn on the electric generator to have electricity. We expected worst, so this is quite ok for us already. Kelong experience is quite good after all! :D
When i was young, I used to build small rooms using furnitures and imagined myself having a small hut something like this..a small room, with windows. That's all. Wow! My dream came true!
Photo taken over dinner!

That's morning already. 8.30am and we continued after a night of turbulent waters with no signs of fishes ard. The strong currents and wind makes it difficult for both man to fish and fishes to swim also. hahaHAahA~~*

That's Neil, with his windbreaker. He came prepared...

The guys spotted a sea worm inside their squid bait! And looking at it crawl and drop back into the sea...

The guys photo, and Mitch just wants to get back to his fishing. No time left!!! Gonna go off in half hour time!

That's Mitch Soloman.
Turbulent waters with angry looking clouds coming..
The sky is so BIG, i can actually still catch sight of the OTHER side with better weather! nice sunshine! :)

That's me! Finally i get to take my own photo!! :D

Planning to go Kelong every 2 months! Perhaps another trip in late august too! For Aunt Cynthia and Uncle Johnny's silver wedding anniversary. :D More exciting experience awaits..!!

Jack Neo's Money No Enough

2008-08-06T20:58:00.004+08:00

Just went for a Movie Premeire, 30 July last wednesday.

Went with dear, and also friends KL, Cyn,her bf Jonkee, Weijie, Mingjian and Tammie.

Realised that Jack Neo is really an inspiring man. Through his movie, and watching 艺点心思 about his life, allows me to understand further abt his movies and productions.

Money No Enough 2 is really quite a good show to watch. And its even better when my dear told me more about his stories.

I have never watch Money No Enough before. And till now, i never did. Initially during the show, i was thinking like..."Yup, it's quite good ONLY." And we had fun laughing at our friend, Neil, who was part of the crew in the production, acting as a tight-fit wearing gangster. ahahaaAHa~~*

However, the part whereby the Ah ma (auntie who acted as Jack Neo, Mark Lee and Henry Thia's mum) is showcasted, the protrayal of family ties,problems faced by families, money issues...especially the part whereby Henry thia sent his mum to old folks home...That was so sO sooOoooOo sad!!!

Ant mentioned that Jack Neo's filming skills have really matured, and after the premeire, we went to shake his hand, and also took a photo of him! We saw a sincere person, no airs, who lead his life brilliantly and fought hard for his dreams and visions despite all odds.

Why the mentioning of Jack Neo and this show?

It is because, he reminds me of...The Pursuit of Happyness.

Jack Neo was a sec 4 graduate, because he managed to miss the mark to get into Junior College. With no proper education during his time (he is now 48years old), he went straight to army and was in the drama and music company.

Since then, he was into Entertainment world,drama and the art, till this day. All was not easy as it seems, and no one ever expected a Singaporean could produce box-office smashing movies. Now, he's now titled as a National Treasure, next to our MM Lee Kuan Yew.

More than 20over years he fought on in this industry.. If i were to step into the small military band and music industry, would i be able to achieve what he did?...

This is why, he's become a Singaporean inspiration to me, other than MM Lee in Singapore.

The show's really nice! a Must watch for the typical Singaporean! ;)

Pls give your man the Love and Tenderness of Mother Earth (Part 1)

2008-08-03T23:24:00.003+08:00

Another posting plagarised from Yanni. AHaaAHaha~~~*
I love relationship postings from Yanni, and of course, i love Arthur's leadership talks, damn bloody funny, truthful, profound, entertaining and meaningful whenever he relates to fundamentals and philosopies of life. Both are great leaders, in their own field. Hope i can successfully translate to a full compiled set of knowledge and system for band coaching in future (if i ever successful get into the music industry again: target 2009)

Now here's the posting by Yanni,
Woman...pls give your man the Love and Tenderness of Mother Earth
(This is for girls only, and guys, don't believe a single thing I said)

After many years of research and studying in men, I finally agree to Jeff Allen and Hiromi, that man are in fact a simple animal, 500 times less complicated than woman.

Regardless of age, whether 2years old, 20s, 30s or 80s, they are still a boy at heart. The most hurting words you can say to them is “hey, please grow up”. The more mature, logical and sensible they appear, is actually a camouflage of their childish self. If you don't believe, disguish yourself and go to the army whereby no girls is in sight, see what stupid things they do with each other or what silly things they talk about ( they definitely don't discuss about “How to become a Great husband” girls, give it up). Good news is, they don't bitch around.

So what does boys hated most? Their mommy nag at them and don't allow them to play.

Every woman has her motherly nature, unfortunately we always use it in the wrong way. When we are dating, we play with our boyfriend, having lots of fun, but once stable down, we inherit our mother's, grandmother's, great grandmother's habit, we become their”mother”, wanting them to do things our way, controling them because it's good for them. Please lah, when our mother tell us not to do certain things because they meant good to us, when did we ever listen?

A few things might happen,
1. they really listen to us and follow our way, and become a boring nice man, and you start
wondering, where does all those passion went?

2. They defy our way, and started the stage of power struggle, whether it's a direct warfare or cold war, there will be casualties, and it's usually both parties.

3. On the surface, they are goody pussy cat, turn around, the dark knight waiting to strike, just waiting for a single chance to get even. No wonder so many men love the Batman movie.

So what does boys really want?
1.After 1 hard day of entertaining boring clients, pleasing the difficult boss, paying endless ERP and still getting jam in the traffic, they just want a place whereby their sensitive little heart can feel safe, to let go of their armour. Giving them peace in terms of sound and mind is very important. Don't worry, if they have enough cave time, they will start coming to you, in many ways :)

2.Boys love mommy's appreciation and attention. From young, boys tried all ways to win mommy's love, regardless of the roles they play. A simple word of “well done” or something as big as “you're my hero” will give them the power to fight 10 more dragons.

3.Deep in their heart, boys equate his success/failure directly to how happy his woman is. So if we girls, play the victim role, thinking of getting the boy's attention and love, we are making a grave mistake. 1St, 2nd time,our man will still response to our calling of love, but after a while, suddenly his work becomes so busy and he starts to have endless meetings and starts have endless amount of work.

4.Boys are as insecure as we girls, though they tried their very best not to show it out. We girls, on the other hand, inherited from our ancestors the gentle tenderness of mother earth. Our femine power allows us to give love, receive abundance, nourishes the soul, warmth the heart, provide a sanctuary for them to rest in.

5.Men are simple, they just want food, love and sex. Yes, sex isdefinitely a must in a man's life. Don't always let your man beg for sex, it's too hard on their ego. Give them a good treat sometimes, jump on to them, give them a surprise, take initiative in sex. Be the one that go book a nice hotel room, be a Ritz-Carlton or hotel 81, trust me, the men don't really mind :) They just want to have a good time with you. Even in a dark carpark in East Coast, even better.

(End of Part 1)

Note: I'm definitely not good with the 5th point...too conservative... hahaAHA~~*

Heaven on Earth..

2008-07-29T23:23:00.002+08:00

The following blogpost is from Yanni, a friend and senior experienced in the field of psychology. Haven't seen her for quite a while, but i do check out interesting article on relationships and psychology from her.

Here's a good one..

Heaven on Earth, for our children

One of the most difficult technical knowledge we can learn in this world is Parenthood, it is something that our parents never teach us ( or they demonstrated the wrong method, cos their parents also did not know what to do). Most of the time we learned through trail and error, however by the time we realised our mistakes, if we do have the consciousness to know, hurt was already been done and many a times, we were in such a huge amount of guilt that we fall into denial or a vicious cycle of guilt – hurt – more guilt – more hurt...

The truth is,children are send from heaven to help us in our healing of our soul, they are the mirror of our sub-conscious and unconscious mind, and they brought heavenly gifts to help us mend our fractured soul.

If you are facing any challenges with your children, check out the following, for the sake of your child ;

1.How much you value yourself as a good mom/dad?
In fact, how much we value ourselves as a parent is equivilent to how much we value our parents of the same sex. If we cannot acknowledge our parents of the same sex we will also not be able to acknowledge our self value in our subconscious mind when we become parent. We get frustrated easily, always unhappy with our performance and in order not to feel the valuelessness inside us, we use anger to cover it.Our children is often the one that get it, unfortunately.

Way out – forgive our parents for the things they had done to us in our childhood, for not loving us the way we want them to love us, for not able to satisfy all our needs, for not able to give us the love and attention we need then. Understanding and acceptance is the best way towards forgiveness. As a parent now, you know that we will give everything we can give to our children,unless we don't have, that is the same to our parents to. They had done their best in their situation.

2.Are you in competition with your spouse?
Are you playing the good parent/bad parent game? Is one of the you in sacrifice and the other always busy? The model of competition started right from our birth, we compete with our parent of the same sex for the parent of the opposite sex, we compete with our siblings for food, for love and for attention.Deep inside our soul, we had a belief of scarcity, and in order to survive, we compete. Some compete through specialness, some through sacrifice, some through victimising, some through withdrawing. At the end of the day, there is always win-lose, but for the child, it's lose-lose. Never never never ask your child to choose between you and your spouse, it's the most cruel thing you can do to them.

Way out – join with your partner, make him/her your team mate instead of competitor. Be aware of the hiddened competition you have inside you and commit to oneness instead of seperation.

3.Let go of your expectations
Our expectations come from our unfulfilled needs in our childhood, however, instead of healing our childhood issue, most parents transfer all their needs to their child unknowingly. Instead of giving the child their own life, parents want the child to live the parent's life, to “enjoy” what the parents never enjoyed before, without really understanding what the children actually want. Just ask ourselves this question, is our children really happy? Is it what we adults want or what they really want?

4.Never talk to our children the way that we will never talk to our friend.
Be your child's best friend, treat them equally and trust them. Response to them and not react to them. Most parents react, when we react, it is emotional and does not help in the situation. Been responsive is to understand what our child trying to tell us through their actions, and see through their actions. When children mis-behave, most of the time either they are calling for love, calling for help or calling for attention. We have to coach our children, not through anger/violence/abuse, but through love and understanding.

Quite a nice article, not only for parents, but for us as children as well. :)

Jamming session!

2008-07-21T22:48:00.003+08:00

Its been a long time since the last i went jamming with my old kakilangs ("our people")... i remembered that last of the last long loNG LONGggGGGG time ago was....in JC!!!! wow!!!! DAmn old lah!

Check out the photos below!

Sneaker an ice cream into jamming room! Sneaky me!
This photo is damn stylo lah...hahaAHA~ my dear's like my ice cream! so sweet~ ahaHAaHaAH~~*

That's Mitch on the drums, doing what he does best.
And Neil on the guitar with his charismatic voice~
And that's Anthony. yup~ my dear. haha~

Had a good time last sunday, jamming at bugis area. i sang with them! After like, so many years? I've never sang with them before, as i have always just sit by the side and enjoy them playing. First time sing and i'll made such a BIG JOKE!!!

Was singing "My immortal", and Mitch was standing beside me, with his gadget on the floor near me as well. As this song was without much guitar part at the front, i just sang and mitch waits for his turn to play. A Long wait.....

I was so excited and keep jumping and Jumping and JUMPING while singing, without him realising that.... I WAS STEPPING ON HIS GADGET!!! From A2, it went to F6!!!! That's like....near 30 times i've stepped on it!!! When it was his turn to strung his guitar, WE ALL LAUGHED OUT LOUD!!! hahaAHAha~~* The pitch was so distorted that we were laughing all the way to the end of the song, without Mitch being able to play his long-awaited part. ahahAAHah~~* My first song with the guys. ahahAAHah super Funny lah!!

Had a good day, singing, laughing, and i also went to pin's Church service. Not too bad, but i still can't take the singings... too loud for me, as i have this concept that, religion is a quiet thing, not so much of a celebration thingy everytime at the start. Congrats to pin being water-baptised! :)

After a long day, i also ended quite well with my dear. We had a cold period recently, and we talked things out. Now looking forward to the end of March next year, get out of current job and go into band teaching! Registering for ABRSM music theory test latest by 15 Aug, then 1 Nov is the test.

Looking forward to NDP as well!!! Going to play paintball and go fishing!!!!!!YiPeEee~~ And also 42.195km run i promised myself that i'll go for! Public declaration this time. Must experience that, once in a lifetime, so i wouldn't disappoint myself. ;)

Jia you jia you jia you! Towards a bright fulfilling future!!!

Communications.. The Five Love Languages

2008-07-11T00:47:00.005+08:00

I didn't realised that when i speak, i sound cocky, overconfident to certain groups of people, like my old friends from band. But to certain people, like those from JC and NUS, they are perfectly normal to my way of communications...

My guy didn't realise that i dislike him to kick start a conversation with negative terms and tonality as well. And, he didn't realise that he did it! Its just natural for him to speak in his way, and me in my way..so, luckily we managed to talk this through and know each other better. Having a critic as a boyfriend can be tiring and sometimes, hurting as he can be damn bloody direct, but its good as well, because we are better able to talk things out as well.

Many couples in modern days, aren't able to last long. Even if they managed to get married, they end up in divorce. I wonder why...Is it because they are too messed up in their relationships that they can't be bothered to fix it? lack responsibility for each other? or they are not confident and do not have faith to carry on? There is a fundamental reasoning, but i can't really figure out myself, simply because i have never reached that stage before.

I love this book, The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. This book is recommended by Arthur Yap, really a great guy, a great leader of his life, his organisation, a man of philosophies and principles. A Man of honour. i always love to listen to his talks about life, business, career and jokes too!

Well anyway, This book is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED and it has ever since, become my bible for relationships. Initially, when i got this book before my relationship with my current guy, i thought..."How great can this book be"? I read...and fell asleep.........

Last night, i flipped it through, and amazingly, i discovered ALL my concerns are answered inside!!!!!!!!!!!! TRULY AMAZING RELATIONSHIP'S BIBLE!!! HaaahaAHAh~~*

*Carine go get it!!! Damn nice!! It can be your bible as well!!!!

Discover your primary Love Language...speak it, act on it, and your relationship will be sweet and long lasting... ;)

Power Struggle

2008-07-09T00:40:00.004+08:00

He "stepped on my toes" today, and i flared up.

Man... i thought i could control my emotions, but i just seem to not be able to, in front of the man i love.

I name this stage "Independence" stage, and also further into it, its "Power struggle" stage in psychology terms.

Couples, when they get together, usually there are 3 stages. Namely, Dependence stage, Independence stage, and Interdependence stage.

Will talk abt the 3 stages some other time...
Just wanna whine abt this Power struggle now..

I do realise a long while ago, that i have a big ego. BIG BIG one. I totally cannot stand myself being labelled as a "whiny old woman","a typical woman", "a woman who follows her man wherever she goes", etc. I am NOT that kind of woman. I seek freedom to do stuffs, and in my way.

My guy, is also a man with a passion for Freedom. Man, has ego. Default. If they have no ego, something is going wrong there... So, sometime we have struggles with that. If i say or do anything "too much", i'm labelled a typical woman. The thing is i KNOW he doesn't mean it, but i STILL flare up!!! Sometimes i know certain things will hurt his ego, and i PURPOSELY commit it!!! Damn! We have to recognise this struggle and manage it.

Wah...i never imagined after such a long drought with no relationships, getting into one really takes effort on both sides. To go into Interdependence stage will take a while, but working towards it. I pray that he does it as well...

Bottle Tree Park and Paint balls!!

2008-07-08T19:42:00.002+08:00

Checked out a new place last sat with Neil, Mitchell and Anthony!

Happened to pass by Khatib MRT after jamming session, and we saw something very beautiful!
A large pond! with large "swans" floating around!

The place is called "Bottle Tree Park"!!!
Check it out at www.bottletree.com.sg

It was a good discovery. Because although the place isn't satisfactory for our fishing desires (fishing arena too small,not shiok at all), we saw a new place!

The place is called "Redynasty"!!!
Check it out at www.weplaypaintball.com

That's the more interesting place! Will wanna organise groups to "fight it out" there!! ;)

PACKAGE A - The Shooting Gallery (30 paintballs per pax) - $10.00 per pax
PACKAGE B - JAMES BOND (50 paintballs per pax) - $25.90 per pax
PACKAGE C - THE GODFATHER (100 paintballs per pax) - $35.90 per pax
PACKAGE D - RAMBO (250 paintballs per pax) - $49.90 per pax

Hmm...for 2 hrs plus, i'll go for the package D of course!! Maximum fun!! ahahaAH~~*
Must organise trips to that place someday! ;)

I believe...

2008-07-04T00:08:00.002+08:00

I believe...

There must be a reason for me to stay on in ESABEE for the weekly functions..
Not sure about it, but perhaps its the spiritual sense that is making me stay on..

I am not doing recruitment for sure, and i feel totally comfortable (which was not the case a few weeks back). I found a religion and exploring about it, and i find myself more at peace nowadays... And i can go functions feeling great! Strange, but..haha~ not sure why... but i believe that there's a good reason why i'm hanging around..

From situation i see, in Penang and Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, ESABEE is really doing great and function numbers are really growing each week to large numbers in hundreds! The whole of Penang and KL is starting to have a phenomenon on Eumora bars... more and more testimonials are flooding in... And i still enjoy my quiet trading supplies of Eumora overseas..

Hope the reason for my stay will reveal soon... :)

~Fashion Paradise Pte Ltd~

2008-06-30T02:28:00.002+08:00

My dearest sister, Molly, has just started her mini small online shopping business!
Pls visit her site @ http://mollylee.blogs.friendster.com/fashion_clothings/

Why i like her shopping site:

My sis is very organised and responsible for her work (guarantee she wouldn't ran away, because she can't run away as well!) hahAAH~~*
My sis has good QC (Quality Control) for material of the clothes. But i think her fashion taste is weird. hahaH~~* so u all just see lah! Check out the nice photos.
My sis can deliver to me straight at home! ahahaAH~*
My sis has me to help her survey, check out which sites have good clothes, which sites clothes cannot buy, will con people's money...
My sis's choice of bags are all not bad. That's the only thing i think her taste is not too bad, can make it. aahaaAAa~*

That's what i can describe about my sister. hah~ bad elder sis i am. haha~~*

So if anyone seeks good online shopping, can check her site out. ;) A little advertise for her here.

Saudi Arabia and USA

2008-06-29T16:03:00.002+08:00

Received enquiries from Saudi Arabia and USA, and we're into further discussions...

Feeling great today, because i'm sending sample Eumora bars overseas now, i predict that if all goes well, orders will start coming in within the next 2-3 months.

Learning about logistics and operation in my current company as well, just nice for the needs of my mini trading company. All about ex-works, FOB, freight charges and all those terms...its slowly, but steadily developing.

Looking forward to my Saudi Arabia contact more..as they seemed more sincere, and they have all the requirements i've wanted them to have. With dermatologist contacts, pharmacists, and they have their own sales and marketing group. Although company is not too big, we can start with small sales and big long term relationship. Not like some of the cocky USA firms i've met.

Looking forward to life ahead! Eumora rocks!! ;)

Down to Earth guy i've got.. =)

2008-06-26T19:59:00.005+08:00

Recape on what i have blogged down in previous post Idealistic vs. Down to Earth,

I mentioned that i will want to be realistic and pray for this down to earth guy to come to me..
And this is what i've mentioned:
Now, what i want in a down-to-earth guy to...

Have passion for life. [Partial, he's responsible for whatever he's done, and he's got a dream that's similar to mine!!! ]
Be there to adore and care for me. Be there whenever i need him. Really love me for who i am. [Yes, at least for now. ahaaAHa~~*]
Friendly guy to know, so my close friends can generally accept.[Damn close lah,more people for him to know, but i don't think its necessary..i got too many friends leh..haha~]
Willing to change for the better. Not stubborn. Good EQ. [Willing to change for the better (depends) Stubborn (also yes) Good EQ (YES!)]
Be investment savvy. Knows how to manage finance. [That i am not sure, but he knows how to manage at least]
A determined guy. Once he sets to start something, he will not give up and pursues to the end. [I do perceive he is, yet to be shown]
Healthy guy without much bad habits.( I can tolerate drinking, but not smoking and clubbing.) [He failed this part, but he dislikes clubbing for sure.]
Loves to hear me talk, appreciates whatever i do for him. [He is one guy who really LISTENS to me, although he sometimes doesn't absorb it...haha~* but I LOVE him for that =) ]
Understands his priorities in life, values and beliefs. [Yup yup! He knows what he wants. Working towards it too!]
Have faith and hope for life. [Hmm.. he hoped for it, and i came into his life. That explains everything. ;)]

He's becoming the core of my life, and i am seeking a religion as well, in Roman Catholic faith. At the same time, trading continues for me in terms of overseas exports. Right now, life feels complete, except for the career fulfillment part. I will really want to go into music teaching again, by 2010. Life's good!

I pray for my guy to be able to quit smoking by his own will power, for his own health and for the sake of loved ones as well. I pray for fellow closed friends as well. I pray that God will guide them towards the path of a healthy wealthy life.

God bless...and I bless you too. =)

A New Life, a New page!

2008-06-24T23:02:00.003+08:00

Feels like a new, refreshingly free life now!

A new blog page for a Fresh start!

I begin to cherish what i have lost a few years back... and will treasure them. =)

More updates when i have time! ;)

My significant other..

2008-06-06T01:32:00.003+08:00

Hmm... feeling lost these 2 days.. haven't feel like this for years already..
He went Malacca on a business trip for 2 days... can't wait to have him back!

Having a significant other in my life, really makes my life more "shared". Like shared driver in computers. He shares part of my life. ahaAHa~~* what a description.

Really grateful to have him ard, especially when he came in, during this rock-bottom period of my life...
He became my light and source of hope and happiness. Although we had alot of misunderstandings, bad memories in the past, but all seemed faded and forgotten when we got back on talking terms after 8 years...

Things are all beautiful, lovely now... He really dotes me and i can really feel it this time... Better than any guys in my life. He's really more matured, responsible now than last time, and i felt glad for that. Nothing matters more than, we, working things out together for our future.

I am still quite at a lost, handling current new job, trading, debts, dreams of becoming a music instructor or musician myself... but with him around, i find strength to carry on living.. Having some plans in mind to accomplish before marriage. So! Now i have a time line and goal to meet before marrying off! =) At most 5 years that i'll give myself...

Hope we'll have a happily retirement plan, like, doing business. Perhaps a small niche cafe, or a small eatery store, having all our friends together till ripe old age...

Love my dearest.

The love of my life...

2008-05-28T04:05:00.004+08:00

My sleeping prince... tired and burnout from work... time to reveal who he is!! (anyway, alot knows who he is already...hahaHa~~*)

Creations from the Mosaic function of my Samsung G600 5mega pixels phone...

Awakens from sleep and sees me clicking away! I was checking out the Mosaic functions..

Alright...he looks cool in this picture, but i look like a kid. haha~~

Me getting bored and he started weird poses for the shots! I love this one! So funny!

I bet some people are getting quite a shock here, esp Carine and some of the guys/gals in the old band group. haha~ Don't laugh ah...He was my first love, the one i loved most, the one i hated most, and i ended with him, AGAIN! Hmm...fate made our paths cross again, after 8 years.

Actually, i am not really able to recall ALL the bad things. Only certain parts, but most of them i forgot already. Maybe i'm doing what Arthur said. Don't live in the past. Live in the past, learn from the past. Everything is about a choice, and after making a choice to be with him again, i decide to make the best out of it.

Tough times lying ahead, especially within the next 2 years. I really hope we can work out everything together. =) Interdependency...i wonder how its really like...

Falling in love...after 3 years of singlehood...

2008-05-07T02:03:00.003+08:00

hmm... recently met up with a guy...

Having a nostalgic feel now... Its not really a burning passionate "in-love" kind of feel... but a peaceful, calm, soothing sense...which i haven't experienced in a long time.. perhaps its because i knew him long ago already...

Most importantly, i think this time, its mutual. It is unlike those couple of guys i met this recent year.. none of the guys, no matter how handsome, how eloquent, how intelligent, how witty, all never gave me the "click" feel.

Recently met up with Tammie, and we had a good exchange of pointers, dealing with man. hAah~~ it was interesting. We, as woman, should really know our man inside-out and understand their needs, emotions, especially how to handle their ego. haAHaA~~ That's about being in-control of our emotions and not losing yourself in a relationship. I used to really plunge and fall badly....now, hell no man. I'm gonna play my game well this time. ;)

Women, should be confident of themselves at all times. In relationships, not only must we be independent, we must learn how to work out together with our other half, especially during bad times.. Interdependence. :) Hope he doesn't make any mistakes this time. Silly old boy... i will seriously kick him to Pacific Ocean if he dares to play me out again...

Therefore, I'll make the best out of this relationship once again, and even if it doesn't work out this time ard again, i'm not gonna cry over it and regret it... It's his lost if he doesn't want me. I'm good, ok?.. "I used to cry, but now i hold my head up high"... ;)

So, now, 24years old le!! Should really do something about my love life. haha~~* Looking to a brand new start with him. :D

Blast! Drumline Battery Battle

2008-05-05T00:08:00.003+08:00

This is Blast! Drumline Battery Battle. One of the coolest Drumline shows i've seen on youtube. I got to see this while at Jeremy's place with Mitch and Anthony.

Learnt rolling on the sticks, taught by Mitch, so i checked out Drumline videos. This one Damn shiok lah! Enjoy! :)

Tommy Emmanuel - The Greatest Guitarist ever!!!

2008-05-04T23:38:00.004+08:00

This is a video clip of Tommy Emmanuel, one of the Greatest guitarist ever! The song is, Somewhere over the Rainbow.

He's a personal favourite of Arthur Yap, and i actually "youtubed" him to find out how great he is. Arthur's a great musician as well, cos the songs he sang during the biz seminar TOTALLY blew me away!! DAMN GREAT vocals lah!!! He can compose music and lyrics!! He's actually very experienced with alot of musical instrutments (except the piano) haha~~

A little about Tommy Emmanuel: He's good, because he can play the bass, acomplement, melody and do tuning on a SINGLE guitar for an entire song! Its like, an entire song of different parts are played by a SINGLE person! That's why Arthur totally adores him...woohoo~

Quarter life crisis....

2008-04-26T07:21:00.002+08:00

These are the longest hang-out friends i've ever have in my life... Best (and also worst) parts of my life spent with them...
Photo taken at Daniel's place, reunion dinner during CNY 2008.
Front (from left to right): Jeremy, Kumar, Mitchell, Me of course!
Back: Daniel, Neil and Anthony

Last time we used to hang out at Lot1 Mac, and now that everything there is changing, we relocated to...Wang Cafe!!! (just outside Lot1)

Alot has happened recently... quarter life crisis hitting me with dramatic career changes. All happened as quite a shocker. Alot of disappointments felt, seen through alot of faces, realities of life... And i thank God i still have these fellow friends around...

10 years we've known each other..they still do the same old gathering thingy. Nostalgia...

With the crisis hitting me non-stop, i seek peace and comfort with them. They don't have to say anything..but just be there and crack jokes, i felt 1000 times at ease and peace. Went over to Mitchell's place overnight for a few rounds of Mahjong, before heading to Penang later in the evening. Won $12!!! Alot came from Anthony...ahhaAHaha~~~* 13 "fans" i think? Treat him drink next time..haha~~

This is the photo of the sky i took while walking back home from Mitchell's place at 7am in the morning... Damn cool... reminds me of the days when i was still 18 years old and doing the same thing. Felt kinda different already, as this time ard, we've grown up, working in the society now, facing different challenges in life.

Hope this time, with the trip to Penang, my thoughts will be able to clear further, and when i come back, i will have decided how to move on with the directions best to be taken. Really Thank God for these friends, else i wouldn't have survived the mental stresses... (plus April's and Carine's pressence as well! Few of the greatest gal friends ever had =) Happy Birthday to April!!~~*~*~~*`` )

Display Band Competition 2008 (12 April, Saturday)

2008-04-17T01:27:00.007+08:00

This was taken during the Band Competition 2008 actual day on 12 April, saturday. Just after Kumar had finished tuning the snare drums. Wow...my first ever Display Marching Band Competition was in 1998. And now its 2008. Once in 2 years, it is the 6th Band comp i've attended. It all feels like i have never left this Band..right at Teck Whye Lane.. So nostalgic...

Got a silver, but we went with pride and honour! Alot felt unfair, even other bands mentioned that we should have gotten at least a gold. However, i sincerely think that if our show was in 1998, a Gold is surely not a problem. We just didn't evolve with times... the formations, music pieces choosen, no climax...but it was a great showmanship of a TRUE BLUE singapore marching band! And we were complimented for being the only band still maintaining the singapore stylo, unlike others which are taking up an American drumcore-line (dcl) style.

2010, we'll be back with a vegence, and other bands will be taken aback by how we're gonna improve 1000times with the new generals (Dan and Kumar), who will take the lead! This is quoted ok? Not me who said this!

I'll be taking up Music Theory test this coming Nov, so as to path my way to becoming a band instructor. I realised that, one big roung i went and now, i want to be a Band instructor with the Band, and my life ends with it (if all else goes well.. ahahaa`~) Its all because of Kumar and Daniel lah....haiyo...i'll still be managing my Franchise trading biz (That's what i've been alive for). My Goals starts with Trading, and once financial freedom is attained, i'll move on towards My life-long vision and my life just ends with Band coaching. Both careers, is all about nuturing people. People development. Satisfaction is there... ;) I really admired Dan and Kumar for doing what they loved to do.. I'll be joining soon! 2010...

Romania here i come!!!

2008-04-08T23:59:00.004+08:00

Great news today!! Trader alert!!!

Interested party from Romania!! Romania here i come!!! Entry with Mior facial spa bar!!

After several hiccups here and there from trading online, i began to know how to identify genuine buyers and traders (Thanks to the experience working in Citibank ;P)

A small India company is also interested, but i'm hesitating whether to send over the samples, worried that they aren't good at marketing it. hmm...will check them out first..

EU nation!!! My world conquer starts now! With Arthur, Jet, Serene and Pin!! God bless... ;)

Teck whye field...i'll own it one day...

2008-03-30T02:08:00.004+08:00

This is my favourite place since sec sch....a place full of nostalgia, memories, the good, the bad, the happiest moments of my life....ALL here... @ Teck whye ...
This place has now changed to a temporary boarding area for schools undergoing renovation. After Teck whye sec left this premise, a few sec schools were here temporarily. Now, Bukit Panjang Govt. High resides here. GReat that we can have our Band Practices back here!!
That's the place where i always stand, overlooking the entire field. A good place to catch the sunrise as well. Bukit Panjang Govt. High (BPGHS) used to have a combine band with Teck whye sec (TW) and we are known as The BT Band. The GREAT BT BAND!!!! Ever Forceful Ever Graceful!! (sounds contradicting, but it's been a slogan since i dunno when....ahaa~~* The Band separated into individual bands since 2002 (and i was quite sad back then...), so now only the Bukit Panjang band (BP band) are having the Marching Display band competition. =) And we're back at the field!!!!
This field...full of memories... We used to spend ALOT of time at this place, MORE than my time back at BPGHS!! Although I'm from BPGHS, i'm more like a Teck whyian!! Not BPian..haha~~ That period was a time where i felt MOST committed to anything in life- BAND BAND BAND!!!
I go to this place as early as 5.30am each sat morning for band practices, and enjoy the morning sunrise. During vacations, my bunch of band "ka kias" (VERY good friends) will come in the morning, go nearby kopitiam to have breakfast, play bball, play soccer, play "alipom" (a type of catching game), play catching in the rain, anything and everything, till night time. There was a period of time we go back to this place EVERYDAY for a month!

That's nostalgia.... Oh i miss those days... Having band practices from morning 8.30am starting, but sectional leaders will want us to start early practice at 7am!!! That's shittish...but we still do it, because we enjoyed it! Totally awesome when u see 150over people marching early in the morning... I seriously miss those days..

I was back sch today. Seeing the younger generations doing their formation marchings. Hmm...10 years already!! Ever since my 1st Band Competition in 1998!! I couldn't believe it, and it felt like yesterday when we finished marching. It didn't feel like 10years... wow..

You know what...i couldn't believe when i saw this...my heart sank to the bottom...LOOK AT WHAT THE SCH DID TO THE TREES!!!! DAMN F**KING!!! HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO THE TREES!!!

After leaving this place today, i went with Kumar to CCK to catch up with Anthony and Daniel. Had a good time chatting, recalling old times, and i really wanna spend good times back with these old guys. Meeting them these days really perks me up to work even harder in biz.

I set myself a target. Seems impossible. But that'll be what i'll be striving for.
"I want to buy this piece of land, this Teck whye land."
Sounds really kinda impossible, because firstly, its government-owned and second, i need to be darn freaking RICH!!!

It does help that i'm in the World Billionaire's Group (WBG). ahaaHAa~~ kidding..but i need to really work very hard to get there. And i will get there with Arthur, Jet, Serene and Pin.

I'm very lazy....i'm so lazy that i wanna work my a** off for at least the next 2 years to get there and enjoy a slackers life for the rest of my life. Jia you!!!

Blessed =)

2008-03-25T01:18:00.002+08:00

Engines started.

MiOR's starting to hit countries under my network.
Managed to get some networks running towards Phillipines, and recently was referred to a exporter who got connections to India, China and Dubai! My subconscious is working!!!

Recently just had an event to promote the MiOR bars. Incredible...
Got a contact to Thailand, an official from Ministry of Thailand and he got many samples bar to pass to his fellow friends who owns clinics and skin health companies in Thailand!!

Gonna export these MiOR bars, these GOLD bars all over the World!!! Recently an American, who controls 90% of the Internet usage in USA, having connections to President Bush, got so impressed with the results of MiOR, that he's planning to get 6 superstars to do an infomerical across the whole of America!!! And what's it gonna do with me? Either i work hard now, OR i work EVEN harder, cos i'm one of the pioneers!! Darn right thing i quit Citibank at the right time!!! Franchise Trading ROckSSs!!~ I'm blessed with a good life with good people mentoring, coaching me like Ee Pin (Gwen), Jet and Serene, and Arthur Yap. Love them all... =)

Tiring, but all worthwhile..just 1-2 years of solid hardwork i wanna put in, and i'll wanna retire financially. Go ard the World to do Charity, Third World nations especially and live a life of abundance. Visit places i've never been, travel ard and find a life partner whose got a vision similar to mine. Really hope one will appear this year...finding myself old now..haha~~ 24 now!!! Found someone rather interesting, scary and special recently all at the same time... yup, anyway, i've got a new belief recently:

"What's mine, will be mine. Destined to be mine. What's not mine, will fade and go away, and i will not feel pain or sadness when it goes."

100th posting! A Brand New Life!!!

2008-03-19T01:08:00.002+08:00

This is the 100th posting for my blog!!!

hmm...And also my first day as a fulltime Franchise Trader! Gonna meet lotsa pple later, do up biz proposal for a company in India interested in importing our pdts and they'll send down their pple for samplings and discussions! A good first step into Fulltime biz.

Jet gave me a great birthday gift.
"CHANGE" is the word...shan't explain too much, cos its too profound...

i din like to be a leader, because of what happened during my sec sch days..where pple hated me for being too commanding, choleric and demanding, when all i wanted is for the better good of the group. I pretended to be ignorant, naive, a sheep, blur silly girl ever since,... And i realised that i am not happy at all doing that. All this while, i'm not happy pretending.

I decide to make a change. To change people, i have to change myself. I feel happier this way. Afterall, what's my job scope about? Its all about changing people! Aid them towards what they want in life, And that's it! Remove all mental obstacles in my mind, no matter hard it is, how impossible it is, i must work towards it. I'm beginning to realise what Pin's and Jet's been trying to do all these while....the perseverance to never give up on pple, really impresses me...

Make a Change. Act, Dress, Talk, Think like a Presidential!

16 March 1984 - 2008

2008-03-16T02:54:00.003+08:00

Yeah!! Happy Birthday to me!! =) Now 24 years old!!!
God pls bless me with a great guy....
as usual. ahhaaAHA~~*
ANyway, i'm delighted that i got one of my biggest cheque in WBG franchise trading system, just 4 months into the biz. Stress level has been all time HIGH as well, but this round was a SHIOK one... hoping for more to come, which stretch my mind to climb higher and higher. The income just goes up and never falls below. I nearly hit bottom, but good thing that God bless me with a great leader, Pin. i will make you proud dear! *i know you look at my blogs!* =P
Going into Full time franchise trading, i realised that there's so much to be done. I see Arthur, i see Jet, i see myself. We are all doing the same biz, isn't it? But what the difference between you, me and him?

Ask me why...ask me why.....
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GOOD QUESTION!

Its all about How we see the business,
How we build the business,
and How much we BELIEVE in the business. AS simple as that.

Ambassardor level this coming March running. And go for Disneyland HK!!!
And....... last but not least....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! a gift from my beloved colleagues, Lihui, Joyce and Lynn from CitiBank N.A (millenia towers)

Thank GOD...

2008-03-09T02:09:00.005+08:00

Today i woke up feeling shitty....

Wanted to go jogging and meet new friends, jogging mates in the weekends, but i failed.. woke up abt 10plus... damn..
Didn't get to meet Serene as she needs to chiong her work for Andrew...damn....
Didn't manage to get Jet to meet up with Wati....sian..

But, i decided to make a change! I decided to send an sms to GOD.
I shan't say what i asked of GOD. but, He seemed to have responded!

I went to office and met Wati myself. She told me how fantastic she felt after consuming Indinine for a period of time, her tennis-ball sized cyst in her womb shrinked!!!! Last time she used to feel "balls" rolling inside her whenever she rolls in her bed when she sleeps, now she dun feel it anymore!! She feels lighter, as if her cyst disappeared!! And just a few hours ago, she msged me to tell me HOw the mior bar helped her eczema legs which never healed for years!!! JUST 3 WASHES and its healing!!! FAST, SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE!!! i feel i can take over the World with mior!!!!

Here's her msg:" OMG, d bar works on my eczema leg. Amazing Annie I suffered for years! show you my leg on monday. Oh God thank you WBG!"

I felt so touched and blessed.. Thank GOD for helping Wati. The doctor wanted to remove her womb, because the cyst was too big and causing very bad ladies problems for her... Now, her dad who is having neck cancer, is also taking Indinine. I sincerely pray to God that Indinine helps faster for her dad as well...

I met up with a couple who are interested to know Arthur and the Franchise Trading biz as well. They got the tickets now to the biz function this coming tues @ Singapore Power Building. Hope thr exporting the pdts, it will help their financial health. =)

Also met a guy from PJC today! Its been at least 4 years since the last i saw him. Not even close to him, but i just met him off the streets @ Adelphi area! Pin wanted to go IT fair to buy thumb drive, and he wanted to get a laptop, so we went together. Along the way, we chatted heartily, like close friends! It was quite a meet up. Had fun chatting while we walked all the way from funan, fight the crowd in citylink, the bridge across to suntec and up to the IT fair at conventional hall. As we chatted and get to more about him, we realised that he's an amazing guy, Quite choleric (good leadership skills to start off!), and he really enjoys helping youngsters! Too early to tell, but we were thinking, if he can helps us with growing the youth team, he'll be a great partner. =)

Went dinner @ cafe cartel and dessert @ Spinelli at Raffles City, realised that actually he's a quite rich guy, but no airs.. and sort of...i think he's feeling empty inside. Pin also feels that too. Wow, perhaps the biz's gonna really help him and find meaning in life! ;) Whah.....somemore ah..although he's kinda failed my height criteria (i set it at least 1.75m), he's very handsome!! hahahaAAH~ i'm dreaming i'm dreaming... :P He's a good brother to have. :)

Going rock climbing with him later! See whether there are chances to explore partnership. A great guy as a brother ;) Really thank God for blessing me... :)

Arthur! MORE STRESS pls!!

2008-03-06T00:09:00.004+08:00

Wow!!!

Its been a long time since i've suffered from so much pressure!!! WORST than SPS!!

A Long run for the 2 months running of mior bars...and i don't think i've worked hard enough.

Yes i didn't work hard enough, although i may seemed to have done alot of hits and runs, bang here and there and achieving not much results. Sad, but alot of experience gained. Hope that helps in the long run. Man!!!! I'm itching for more!!! MORE STRESS!! PEAK!! CLIMAX!!! (that doesn't sound right, whatever..haha!~*)

Yesterday session from Arthur was really great. Never before i experienced this kind of stress, not even exams!! Its a Wonderful stress...stretch our minds to think BIG!!! Never this stress which i ever felt in my whole life in WBG...never did we experience such kind of stress from any leaders from the team.. NEVER! We are really growing this time...

I never liked stress, but THIS stress i have been experiencing every single day from jan til now, i tried ALL kinds of ways to handle it. Run away, turn to korea dramas, watch movies, go out with old friends, goggle at handsome guys, pretend to do work but very less....ALL kinds of ways to run away!!! But IN THE END, i still have to face the music Because i desire the results that Arthur has been producing @ the weekly business functions. His review with us at every end of the session is amazing. Never fails to perk us up. More stress!! MORE STRESS!!!

Reach out to more people, daily. That's what i'm gonna make it as a habit. STRESS me more Arthur!!! Gimme more STRESS!!!!

Moments of my life early march

2008-03-03T00:59:00.004+08:00

I think i'm falling for this collegeaue of mine... for the last 16days in Citibank...how can i have missed noticing him for the past 7 months at work?

It seems sweet, seeing him daily now...
But, yah....still other stuffs to do, like, preparing for full time Franchise trading! Gonna get chased by Jet for timetable! hahaAH~~*

Recently went to church service. 1st time ever. Got the shock of my life. I think i will prefer the quiet Catholic style..guess i'm getting old to enjoy the hype and all the sing songs of churches... The one thing that impacted me was "Faith". Faith is, to Attack. not to abuse, torture those kinda bad stuffs. But to stand true to what i believe and have a firm hold. When people try to sway me, stand firm on my faith and defend it. Actually i dun like that word, attack, but it what i needed most. I didn't stand true to my faith when i get attacked. I shall fight back and attack...what am i saying here... haha dun try to understand now cos its getting late...my mind is just saying.."stand firm and be in control, hold on to faith".

I have respect for all religions, just that my most fundamental of beliefs is, There is only 1 God, and his name is God. He takes on the form of any religion's worshipped character, may it be Allah, Jesus, Buhhda, Mother Mary, any good spiritual beings...There's only one. And he'll bless kind people. Fullstop. Very simple. My mind's not complicated, and i don't intend to complicate my mind with all history of religions. Live in the present, learn from the past (don't dwell in the past). Anyway, life's busy, with weekly functions which is stressing me up every week, i just feel like...finding a soulmate. I wonder how the last 16 days will work out... God, my friend, do Bless me. I Love you. =)

*~Shining World of AnN~*

28 Feb 2010!~*

31st Jan 2010~*

31st Dec 2009!!~

A fresh start!

Amused by his driving.. :)

命中注定我爱你。。。

Great weekend! Hope this battery recharging lasts longer..

Dull life...without him..

What on Earth am i here for?

How long i wanna stay in Teaching?

Melissa housewarming and Aunt Cynthia's Birthday!~*

Teachers need motivation too!

Weekends!!! =D

Living faith? Living hell...

Let go and Let God

What am i looking for? Do i trust God can provide me?

Death to our old ways..Resurrect to a new life..

My sponsored child - Jae Mae..~*

A Proper start to my Teaching career!!

My Saint Name from..St Clare of Assisi

Carine and Cheng Yong's Wedding Day - 14 Jun 09

God's Answers

Sweet dream~ :)

Crucifix instead of Cross...

Paranoid...

Slave or Best Friend of God?

What's a prayerful life like?..Part 1

www.myprettycreations.blogspot.com

Busy May and June!!~* [UPDATED]

The vineyard...~

Fake eyelashes!!

Eyelastin!!!

A spiritually enlightening sunday afternoon...~*

My Evolution...~

Recent reads: Compendium- Catechism of the Catholic church

Feelings never last...Love do.

Shuddup!!!

Date with Valerie!~*

Something to think and pray about this week..

In a Dating Mood!~*

God bless him...

Life...

BOREDOM

Sunset lovers...~

Prayers...

AMORE!! What a discovery...~

Confessions of a Shopaholic!!!

Need to lose some weight...~

Ladies ways of the World! :P YippEe~*

The ways of the World..or the Ways of God.

I'm dry...but i wanna write so much things!.....

Beauty! 女人我最大！

What do sufferings signify about God?

I accidentally deleted 25 past blog posts..haha~

Reaffirmation of my dream...

A Promise...to deep lasting relationships..

Passion of the Christ

A nice walk at the park...~

A nice break...~

Where is my dear?....

FRIENDS OUT TIME !!!!!!!!!!!

The secret to Happiness - Decision

Thank you for loving me...~

12 things that you should avoid if you want good sex

Secret Collection (aka 人生四大秘密) by Adam J. Jackson

Kelong Acheh @ Mersing (09-10 August 2008)

Jack Neo's Money No Enough

Pls give your man the Love and Tenderness of Mother Earth (Part 1)

Heaven on Earth..

Jamming session!

Communications.. The Five Love Languages

Power Struggle

Bottle Tree Park and Paint balls!!

I believe...

*~Fashion Paradise Pte Ltd~*

Saudi Arabia and USA

Down to Earth guy i've got.. =)

A New Life, a New page!

My significant other..

~Shining World of AnN~

~Fashion Paradise Pte Ltd~